Woke up at a shocking 118½ pounds! I could not believe it. Yesterday I got to thinking that maybe I should treat food the way I did with the cigarettes. I slowly cut down the cigarettes till there were no more. It took me months to get used to this, but I did in time. I shared this idea with my folks and my mom’s reply was that it’d get easier in time. Good for you. So this helped motivate me and yesterday all I had was one low-fat/cal TV dinner, a bowl of popcorn, and some graham crackers. Today I’ve had my one TV dinner and my popcorn so far. 

Yesterday I also walked 2.3 miles for 45 minutes. I only walked 14 minutes so far today at just over a mile, but maybe I’ll walk more later before my twilight swim.

Ma was right. It was hard at first to make this new adjustment and still is at times, but if I could quit smoking and tough out that till the cravings went away, then why can’t I tough this out too, and lose the weight and get used to a diet of very little food? Well, I still won’t get my hopes up but will try my best.

I got potentially good news from Andy, who I hope won’t bug me with calls all weekend. He may be working at Red Lobster or some other place. I hope to hell he gets a job and keeps it. Obviously, he must really love serving food, cuz he just keeps right on going back to restaurants. And I know he’ll flirt, too, no matter who else is or isn’t doing the same thing. I just hope he doesn’t get fired for a few weeks, instead of after just one.

I wish to hell Andy would get a boyfriend, too. Not just cuz he deserves one and wants one, but cuz he may be too preoccupied to call me as much with one, but I don’t know. Thank God he has Michelle to call every day, cuz then it’d be even worse, and Andy’s just not one you can ask a favor of. If you ask him to please not do something, he does it anyway. If you ask him to come over and take packages inside for you while you’re out of town, he calls playing dumb on your machine while he knows damn well you’re gone, and asks for you to do him a favor.

At 9 PM my time, midnight my folk’s time, we’ll be going online to chat. She sent me an email yesterday while I was online, then I replied, then she sent me an instant message, and she, Dad, and I gabbed for a bit. She said she, dad, and “mas” were there. Then she said not “mas,” it is “max” (she used no caps) and then I replied saying I was “shitting” around. That’s “sitting” around, not “shitting.” Haha. She said she thought so.

Later…

Did a total of 27 minutes of walking and I went for a dip in the pool. Somebody thumped by really loud while I was out there. Must’ve been Caddy Kid. I could smell the freeloader’s dinner. They usually eat between 7:00 - 7:30. Sometimes I still burn with anger towards this bitch for having the nerve she’s got to have pulled all the shit she’s pulled on me (along with the dick) and I have to do all I can do to keep from going over there and placing my fist through her face. It’s great while the cock’s not around and I don’t have to listen to 6 sets of loud door slams. Many times a day that fuckaroo would slam doors 4-10 times.

Talked to my folks on AOL for about 20 minutes. They’re having a string of bad luck. They got a flat tire and their water tank went out just like ours did a few years ago.

Saw Melanie today. She definitely does not share a mutual attraction or interest in any way. I can just tell. She looked beautiful, though. Her hair wasn’t straightened, but she had it in a loose ponytail with a few stray strands at the sides and it looked so much better than it did swept up off her forehead. I was in and out really quick. She tightened the area where the impacted tooth is.

I sent Tammy a letter and even thought of sending one to Anna and Harry, but I never hear from them. All I ever got was just that one letter. They’ve got my number and address. Shouldn’t I wait and let them contact me if they want to?

Paula tried calling. The other night I was thinking of her and realized it was about time again for me to hear from her. At least she’s not a pest like Andy and there’s something new to tell her by the time we talk again. It keeps it more special and exciting that way.

After seeing Melanie we went back to that used bookstore. The same guy was there that’s very nice. I got 11 books for $16.