I already got the Olivia Newton-John CD we ordered on Monday. That was fast! It’s nice to have this on CD instead of the old tape I had of this album that crackled and hissed. The tape was old and kind of defective.

I forgot to mention that yesterday I got the best p-dog pictures yet. Got a few good shots of them at the base of the stairs I was standing on (I was standing right by the door in case I heard a car approaching that happened to be a cruiser so I could jump back in the house to hide). If I’d known then what I do now, I’d never have opened the door to them; they can’t break in even if they see you in the window unless they have a search warrant. I didn’t know this. I thought that they’d bust in to hunt you down and drag you out with just an arrest warrant.

When they came out Tuesday evening, their only intention was to talk to me about the calls back east. They never came out with the intention of arresting me. But when they ran my ID and found that I had a warrant, I was arrested, thanks to the lying shitheads back east. I guess God really wanted me to pay for my calls and letter to Bill like he wants me to pay for simply existing. Everyone else can fight back but me. Bill can do something about my calls/letter, but I couldn’t, and still can’t, do anything about the freeloaders’ abuse and get them out of my hair. If the little cock had just kept his mouth shut, I may have been able to dodge being picked up and the statute of limitations would’ve eventually expired on the default warrant from the subpoena I never got if that’s really what the certified mail was really all about.

I still have a ton of shit to write about, but am just too tired to do it, thanks to the blacks and Mexicans who made me get up 3 hours earlier than I’d have liked to. I will say this much since I’m learning more and more about this bullshit case each day. It’s a grand jury warrant and no longer has anything to do with the blacks and Mexicans, even though it does. The blacks and Mexicans went to the cops with their BS story about me, along with their mail, then that cop investigated it, then the grand jury decided to press the matter. Remember I said I had a certified letter with no return that I ignored, figuring it was just some collection agency? Well, it was probably a subpoena. What took the grand jury so long to decide to press the matter beats me. Maybe somebody did something to the blacks and Mexicans, they’re assuming it’s me, and that’s why they’re pushing this thing.

Anyway, stupid incompetent people include those in law enforcement and courts, and they fucked up the paperwork. Florence never did the paperwork to let Maricopa know I was coming in for an arraignment today, so now I have to be back in court on Aug. 2nd at 8:30. That means we’ll have to get up way, way early. Poor Tom is struggling as it is to make up the hours the freeloaders made him lose.

I want to kill these fuckers!!!

Later...

Just took a two-hour nap. Boy, did I need that!

To finish the part of my trip to jail – I ended up being in that jail for about 12 hours. After I had been upstairs for about 3 hours, I was sprung out of there. On my way down, the guard I was with, along with a paralegal dressed in regular clothes, was teasing me (in a good-hearted way). I’m amazed at how many staff members teased and joked with the inmates! Anyway, I had said I was glad I didn’t get beat up (cuz you always hear of cases where an inmate beat up another inmate for the most stupid reasons, like wanting their food or something like that) and the paralegal teased me by saying that could still be arranged.

We went a few streets away to the bonds lady; a 62-year-old crazy, talkative, but nice lady named Sharon. Tom had already met with her, of course, and warned me about how much she loved to talk. So, when we went in there, she shook my hand, introduced herself, and let me know that she would own me till this case was over. All we could do was speculate and talk about the case by purely guessing about the matter. We still don’t know for sure what this is all about, although it seems obvious enough that it is black/Mexican related. What else could it possibly be? When they said two counts of each of the two things they were charging me with, I figured one was for the blacks and one was for the Mexicans. Both Tom and Sharon think they’ll drop whatever this bullshit is about due to lack of evidence, but I don’t know. You just can’t count on anything anymore. The laws are so fucked up and life’s so unfair. Murderers go free while people who steal cigarettes do hard time. I think I’ll always have problems with the law/courts no matter what I do or where I go. A part of me wishes we’d moved out of state, though, cuz then they couldn’t extradite me for this shit and push it like they are! I really believe that I’m going to have to go to court practically every month for years and maybe even end up doing some time, if not, fined, put on probation and ordered into counseling. I had no idea what Andy meant when he warned me that people were worse out here. At the time I was like, but people are people anywhere. How much worse can they be? Well, they are worse. They’re much more sensitive out here and they can’t handle simple little reasonable requests like, “Would you please turn your music down.” That’s just asking way too much out here. I should’ve known better from the get-go, though, cuz anyone who plays music that loud obviously wants others to hear it and isn’t playing it just for themselves. Nobody needs music that loud just for themselves. Not even someone who was hard of hearing.

It’s one thing to know these people are going to get away with abusing me the way they did, but another to have to be punished like this for it! It really depresses, frustrates and downright infuriates me to know that all I can do is just sit back and take it, without defending myself or taking a stand for myself in any way, if someone decided to intrude upon my life again the way they did. There’s just no fighting back and even Tom said that sometimes you just have to take shit in life and you just can’t always get even. Yeah, I know as much I’d love to give Tammy a piece of my mind right now and ask how the fuck she can lie so much and claim I threatened her and her kids. But I can’t cuz the pathetic, lying, back-stabbing, two-faced bitch will just run to the cops about it. Why does everyone expect the cops/courts to fight their battles for them? Can’t they deal with their problems on their own? Such wimps people are!

Sharon said to fight back now.

Now? It’s a little late for that, isn’t it? I’ve already lost years of peace, time, money and freedom on account of these sickos, so if I couldn’t “fight back” and get these fucks out of my life for the last 4 years, then when is that ever going to happen?

I said, “Sharon, I did nothing wrong to these people and a person should have the legal right to speak their minds like I did under the freedom of speech laws. I’m their victim and I always will be.”

“No, no, no!” she then yelled. “You are not their victim, don’t let them get to you, you can beat this, you’ll be laughing at this someday, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger…”

But I don’t know about that. I feel like each time I have shit dumped on me by people, it only beats me down more. It deepens my lack of trust and my disgust for people in general. I feel totally defeated here. If these people had just let me live my life in peace, this wouldn’t be happening. They brought this on themselves.

I suppose Larry’s next to go to the cops and at his parents’ urging, too. I doubt any of the Massachusetts people will bother, but who knows? That’s what I thought about Bill. I thought he’d be too disgusted to hear my voice or read my mail and erase my messages and shred my letter up instantly, but nope. Even if you’re good with people, they still have a way of surprising you at times, but if I had sat and thought about it hard enough, I would’ve known better. He’s a very vindictive, venomous person.

Let me get into Tammy’s letter before I jump back to the freeloader case. She had the nerve to write to Tom asking for his help. Asking for his help! She needs to help herself and quit lying and fuck off and out of our lives for good. She wrote in the letter all about my trouble with the law in Springfield and Deerfield as if Tom didn’t already know about it, lied about my threatening her and the kids, and what I meant by saying she’s two-faced, is that now she loves Bill and is siding with him of all people. Yeah, she does this with her folks, too. One minute she hates them, the next she loves them. Well, as far as I last knew, she despised Bill. After all, isn’t he the one that’s supposed to have abused her and her kids? Well, now she fucking loves him. She writes about how I made threats against his life and now she’s oh so sorry for the poor little cock. Her brother’s the same way. He told me how he hated to hear about Bill’s “condition” from Tammy cuz he has a weak stomach, not that he doesn’t sympathize with the guy, but hey, shit happens, he said. But when I last talked to the lying hypocrite, he was madly in love with the “wonderful” guy who may have hit his kids only once or twice. Well, it wasn’t only once or twice, but hey, he can have him. They’re good for each other.

After Tom, who called Tammy at the number she wrote in the letter she sent to our old address, let the little bitch rant and rave and get things out of her pathetic system, he told her as he told me, “I don’t care at this point who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. You’re entitled to be the way you want to be and she’s entitled to be the way she wants to be, just don’t either of you have anything to do with each other anymore and there’ll be no more problems.”

Then after Tammy said that charges are forthcoming (like I’m really scared) she gets into her nicey-nicey act, saying how sorry she was she couldn’t have gotten to know Tom. Tom said, “Well that’s all well and good, but I never thought you two should have anything to do with each other and I don’t think Jodi should ever have anything to do with her parents ever again, either.”

Rest assured – I’d never have anything to do with them again even if I were paid a million bucks. All Tammy had to do was ignore my mail like Lisa obviously ignored my phone call when I was trying to reach her. She didn’t have to run to the cops with a pack of lies.

Tammy also told Tom that Bill went to court and it was none of my business.

Oh? Since when? She always made it my business before to tell me what was going on with Bill, and from what she told me, no he did not go to court or receive any punishment regarding his abusive behavior.

I don’t understand why this pathetic bitch suddenly worships and loves this guy. Why would she care who threatens him? Why would she want to side with something she’s supposed to despise for abusing her and her kids?

When I asked Tom why in the world he’d give Tammy the time of day by calling her, he said he did it for peace of mind so he wouldn’t become an accomplice cuz the phone’s in his name, but I don’t see how that’s relevant. It’s me she and the law are after. Not him. I’m the one that called Bill and my voice is on his machine. I guess he maybe felt he could calm her down and into backing off. Meanwhile, he says he’s got the letter and if need be he can use it in court to say that she asked for his “help,” asked to be called, and phone records will show that he only called her once upon her request for “help.” He called from the cell phone and I’m sure she’s got the number. He said so what if she does? He knows how to hang up if she calls again, and he won’t call her ever again, either.

I went through and destroyed every single one of Tammy and her kids’ pictures, along with the few I had remaining of Doe, Art and my grandparents, and I never thought I’d say this, but I don’t care what happens to Lisa from here on out any more than I do the rest of them. She can cut herself, kill herself, get beat up by her parents, and it’s her fucking problem. I will never try to look her up and if she tries to look me up, all she’ll get is rejection. I’ll just ignore her.