I can’t wait till we bomb! When I was getting ready to step into the tub, I saw one of those big black spiders crawling on the curtain, but when I ran to get the Raid and the fly swatter, it was gone when I returned. I still haven’t been able to find it and it gives me the creeps!

I’m shitting regularly now that I’ve been eating around 1500 calories a day.

I tried to reach Lisa yesterday to chat with her and to verify whether or not Tammy got the pictures (although I’m sure she did), but I couldn’t get her to come to the phone and didn’t want to admit who I was. In a childish voice I asked for Lisa, they asked who I was, but wouldn’t put Lisa on. I think it was Becky who answered, I’m not sure. Then I decided to hell with it, and I called back, got the machine, and left a message congratulating Tammy and saying I’d call back soon, but of course, I have no desire to talk to her. I just wish I could talk to Lisa! The machine had Mark’s voice saying: This is the wonderful household of Mark, Tammy, Stephanie, Lisa, Becky and Sarah. Wow! That’s 6 people living in that house. I hope it’s as nice and as big as Tammy said it was.

Later...

Yesterday morning at around 7:30, a cute little baby jackrabbit was hanging out by the well. It was too far away for me to get a picture of, though. I know it was a jackrabbit and not a cottontail by how long its back legs were and by how tall its ears were.

Great news at the doctor – Tom’s fine. His heart is fine and so is everything else. He had a complete physical and says that although it came up the last time he had a physical, the doctor didn’t ask him about sex this time. Yeah, right. I know he did and that he lied as usual to stay the way he is and wants to be, but fine. Let him do what makes him happy.

The funny part of it was that the doctor said he may have exercise-induced asthma, cuz he wheezes and gets sore in the chest after exerting himself. We were both shocked to hear this. Especially after the dream I had. I don’t know if I wrote about it, but I know I told Tom about it; I had a dream the doctor told him he had asthma. Anyway, the doctor encouraged him to exercise more to get his body “immune” to it, so to speak and said that if he continues to get the wheezing he’s been getting towards the top of his, to let him know and he’ll give him some Proventil to take before he goes to do something physical. That’s the same shit I used to take. This morning he said he’s as sore as he was in the chest a couple of weeks ago when this all started. Maybe he injured something that he felt and still does feel when he exerts himself, but who knows? And he did exert himself yesterday. They had him walk on a treadmill for his stress test. I still wonder if a part of it is psychologically induced by stress and issues that scare him but that he just can’t deal with and face, but either way, I have a feeling Tom’s always gonna have problems and that his body’s always gonna seem older than it should. He may be 43, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was 73. Not all the time, but most of it.

Tom showed me how to compress my journal files earlier so I could fit them onto fewer floppies.

Again I called Tammy to try to talk to Lisa, and it appears that Lisa may be upset with me for some reason. I can only guess that it’s because Tammy did pressure her into admitting that she gave me the number and told me about the move/impending wedding and all that, as I feared she might. If she’s hesitant to talk to me for any reason, I don’t hold it against her. After all that’s gone on, she’s probably confused, unsure of who to trust, and it’s natural for kids her age to side with mom.

When I called, Sarah answered and I said I needed to speak to Lisa. She then said, in a softer voice that wasn’t quite soft enough, “Lisa, it’s Aunt Jodi.” Then Sarah, speaking to me, said she wasn’t there.

I told her I just heard her tell Lisa I was on the phone and asked where she was and she told me to call the store (I don’t have the store’s number). Then I asked if she was at the store and Sarah was like, “She, uh, she’s at a friend’s house.”

I didn’t want to put the poor kid on the spot, so at that point, I asked the question I called to ask in the first place – did they get the pictures?

“Yes,” Sarah said, confirming what I wanted to know. That’s when I said goodbye and hung up. I won’t be bothering the B household anymore. Come to think of it, Lisa didn’t sound as excited to hear from me when we talked right before the move as I thought she’d be. Either way, as much as I love Lisa, it’s best that we don’t have any contact the same as it’s best I have no contact with Tammy, Larry, Doe or Art. There’s just too much grief connected to these people.