I still have a lot to write about concerning my latest misfortune, so I’ll get on with it, but before I do, here are some other tidbits of things going on.

I saw Carol on Hollywood Squares. She looked so-so.

The red pickup went by, but there were no Mexicans in the back of it. I thought I heard music coming from it, but I’m not sure. I’ve seen it go by quietly once or twice since I first mentioned it.

That 10” doll Marissa that I tried to get online is now in the Ashton-Drake catalog for the same price as Sacajawea and Pine Leaf – $125. I hope to get her someday.

Last night the dishwasher lost its mind and wouldn’t work cuz all the lights lit up randomly whenever I’d hit start, and I was like – thanks, God. Thanks for having the dishwasher break. You couldn’t have picked a better time. But Tom, my hero and genius, fixed it by unplugging it. I never would’ve thought to do that.

Anyway, I was made to take a shower while the guard left to do whatever, and was fucking freezing when I got out and dressed in my uniform! The guard was out in the hall when I stepped into it and she took me to get my picture taken and to be printed. They do that every time someone comes in, she told me. She did my prints on the computer and only inked my right thumb.

It was just before midnight when I was finally put in a holding cell with 3 other sleeping girls. I was amazed that they could sleep! The windowless room had one built-in bench with two women on it, and another woman lying on the floor by them. There was a toilet and sink with a 3’ wall in front of it and at the side of it. I lay down just outside the little toilet cubicle. There was no room for me anywhere else, anyway. I lay there staring up at the bright fluorescent lights and listening to the loud drone of the TV that was just one big echo. Because there was no carpeting anywhere, the sound bounced off the concrete walls and floor and you couldn’t make out any words coming from the obnoxiously loud thing that was obviously blaring to annoy the inmates and drown out anyone calling to the guards. It was the most uncomfortable night of my life laying there on that cold, hard concrete, wrapped in this itchy, woolly blanket, shivering my ass off! I swear they mean to freeze their guests! The AC ran continuously and it had to have gotten way down in the 60s in that little cell which was about 6x15. I struggled all night to find a comfortable position, but whether or not I lay on my side, back or belly, I was so uncomfortable!

I remember thinking – thank God I don’t smoke cuz I’d be dying for a cigarette!

At one point, one of the women awoke to pee right after I did. She was a tall, skinny woman in her late 30s who was in for beating her husband. Why she was in for beating him when she was the one with all the bruises, was beyond my comprehension. She was nice, although I could sense she had the potential to be capable of some pretty serious mood swings. I just knew there was an underlying tendency there. Again, although she was nice and gave me some of her soggy bologna and cheese sandwich, I wouldn’t want to be buddies with her.

Shortly after we began gabbing, the plump 21-year-old on the floor woke up and was very friendly. She gave me her bag of chips, although I couldn’t eat very many. We also very happily swapped blankets. She wanted mine cuz it was more solid, and although hers was rather holy, it was cotton instead of wool and much softer. Either way, I knew I’d be freezing. I’d have to have had a sweatshirt on and be wrapped in a comforter in order to have been warm in that place. Anyway, she was in for speeding and getting caught with pot in her car.

Eventually, the other one on the bench woke up. She was young and looked like a model and was in for theft. She said she went to court on the case two years ago, did all she was told to do about it and wasn’t sure why they were bringing it up now. Why are they bringing up the blacks and Mexicans to me now? It’s been over a year since the blacks moved and almost a year since we moved from the Mexicans.

So we gabbed like old friends having a slumber party for a while, till the door opened up at just after 4:00, and in came a black lady, but again, I’d be lying if I said she wasn’t nice. At this point, and to my utter amazement, I dozed off for a while, while the others went back to sleep and the off-brand stood standing by the door looking out the window. I couldn’t have slept for much more than an hour, and eventually, the off-brand wound up on the floor towards the back of the cell.

At around 6:00 we were awakened, and I was a bit crampy so the Mex guard who had about an hour left of her shift gave me something for it. Again, I was surprised that they’d give a damn enough to have Tylenol for their captives.

Around this time we were given forms to fill out. One of them was the same form R had me fill out. Another was about my financial status to determine whether or not I get a court-appointed lawyer. I said to myself, there’s no fucking way these blacks and Mexicans are going to cost us another dime and force me to spend hundreds if not thousands on them in court. I refuse to pay for a lawyer. If they won’t appoint me one, I’ll represent myself. However, here’s where the law surprisingly worked in my favor. I don’t work, and they can’t make Tom pay for a lawyer for me, I later found out, so I will be getting a court-appointed attorney. That is unless someone tells me differently and they’re the ones who turn out to be right.

About a half-hour, after they got us up we were brought out into the main room where I was first brought in to. I thought I was going to be brought to Phoenix at this time, but instead, the judge was behind the counter and each of us had to go up, turn in our forms and hear our charges for the twentieth time, then sign a paper with my court date which is for this Friday. Again, I tried to find out who was launching the complaint and all the snot said was that it was out of Maricopa County, which is Phoenix (Maricopa is Pinal County). I already knew that but who prompted Maricopa County to file the damn charges? I’m still pretty sure it’s just old news that fucking Tammy and Bill had to dredge up and rehash – freeloaders. Defendants have more rights than victims, I reminded myself (even though I’m the true victim), so maybe that’ll help, but who knows? Life is so unfair and the law is so fucked up that for all I know, I may end up in jail for 10 years. I asked Tom if he’d wait for me if that happened. He surprisingly said that of course he would. How sweet. I’d do the same for him too, although God knows how I’d survive and where I’d live while he was gone.

After seeing the judge, we were put back in the holding cell. At this point, I started to wonder if I’d be stuck there till Friday and if Tom thought I was in Phoenix.

We were only in the cell for about 20 minutes, when we were given a food sack. A brown paper bag with the same soggy sandwiches, chips, crackers, an orange, and milk. I ate none of it.

After another 20 minutes or so of sitting in there, the day staff took us upstairs. Boy, was I nervous upon going up there! Again, I just didn’t know what I was walking into! However, once again it was not like in the movies. No one threatened, let alone harmed me in any way, and I was shocked to see the guards chatting pleasantly with some of the inmates. There was a black woman guard and a Mexican woman guard. We entered a big room with about 6 round tables bolted to the floor. There were about 20-30 inmates there. There was the staff’s station and a lower and upper row of two-person cells.

I was assigned to a lower cell with a 6’, skinny white butchy looking girl named Joy who was a couple of years younger than me. I was shocked when she told me she had been married for 14 years and had 4 kids. Again, she was very friendly and even helpful. She gave me the numbers you have to dial first in order to place a collect call, although it was written on the phone. This saved me time, though.

She also told me I could help myself to the library books she picked out (she had my taste in books). I was shocked to learn that they come around with carts of books. I mean, I just didn’t think they’d care about supplying their prisoners with things to occupy their time.

A lot of the women hung out in the main room, but as Joy said, she preferred to sleep and read in the cell. That’s exactly what I would have done if I hadn’t had someone like Tom to rescue me and bond me out.

She showed me where the semi-private shower stall was and said inmates could shower anytime.

She was on the bottom bunk and said she’d take the top, which I was afraid of cuz it was so high if she didn’t have dizzy spells like she said she did. I asked the guard when she came in to give Joy a broom to sweep the cell with if there were any lower bunks available cuz I was afraid of heights. She said there wasn’t, but that I could take the mattress and lay it on the floor, so I did. Well, Joy did. It was a little high up for me to pull down at my height.

The cell was about 6x8 feet and had bunk beds, a metal table, a metal chair extending from the wall like shelves, a little sink above a toilet just like in the holding cells, and a shelf. Also, just like in the holding cell, there was an aluminum mirror bolted to the wall. Because of my eye for detail and excellent memory, I can remember a lot.

When I first got upstairs, the phones weren’t on yet. Meaning that they were dangling by their cords. Prisoners can only make calls during certain hours. Believe it or not, I dozed off for a few minutes on the mattress on the floor while I was waiting for the phones to be in use. It was much more comfortable than concrete but not nearly as comfortable as an airbed with a foam pad!

Also, when I first went up there, I had to shit so bad, yet had such a hard time doing it like I did when I first came in having to pee, cuz my nerves were all jangled up. Nerves really mangle up my stomach. Joy was kind enough to turn her back towards me so I could squeeze out my runny shit in some privacy.

Joy wanted me to see if Tom and I could spring her bond of $200 (she was in for writing bad checks) and in exchange, she’d let us buy her new Chevy Blazer for $1000, saying she and her husband had two other cars. She said she’d give us the title that day and that we could make payments at our leisure. I said I’d try, but I knew better than to get involved or trust her that much. She was pleasant enough to deal with in jail, but again, not my type to do business or friendship with.

I never followed through on Sandra’s request, either. She’s the older, potentially nutty woman who sort of reminded me of Ellie whom I was in the holding cell with. She was assigned to a cell a couple of doors down from me. Out in the main room, she gave me numbers to see if I could call her family to get them to bond her out. It’s not that I didn’t care or feel sorry for her, knowing how uncomfortable jail is, but I just didn’t want to get involved. I had my own problems to deal with.

Unless they decide to lock you down, or it’s nighttime, you can come and go from your cell as you please. You just flash the light switch in your cell so the guard can hit your door release from the station, and then you give a yell when you want back in your cell (you can’t open the cell doors from inside or outside).

As soon as I saw the phones were hung up and available for use, I called here at the house. Tom answered, but he was in Florence. He had forwarded the calls to the cell phone. He said he was taking care of the bond and that I’d be out in about an hour. It was a little hard to hear him with the echo of the women’s chatter in the background. I was amazed I could even doze off through it, but it was like one big continuous noise, sort of like a fan’s motor. In fact, as exhausted as I was, I had to shake myself awake enough to make the call, cuz at this time, I still wasn’t sure if Tom even knew where I was, but he later told me he was up all night keeping track of where I was.

No one bothered me while I was on the phone. Only one pleasant-looking inmate spoke to me after I made my call, suggesting I put my shoes on since I was walking barefoot on a gross county floor. I had stumbled out barefoot, so damn tired. I went back and got my sandals, anyway. I was surprised to see this woman wearing a beaded cross necklace. Since when are you allowed to wear jewelry in jail?

I had hoped to finish this sorry story before court tomorrow, but I’m just too beat. I’m gonna shower, read, finish the rest of a movie I taped, then hope to get some decent sleep before having to leave tomorrow morning between 7:30 and 8:00. For now I’ll just say there’s a chance I could get rearrested tomorrow upon going to court, but Tom said that he’d bail me out. Well, that’s really nice of him, but if I wished someone would kill Bill and all the freeloaders before, I really wish it now, those mother-fucking assholes!!!!! They’ve really made my life a living hell. Please, God, let what goes around come around!!! Please, please, be fair for once!!! Let justice finally be served and get these losers off my back and out of my life for good!!!!!!