Thanks, California, for spending 50 million dollars to ensure our illegals/immigrants continue to get their freebies while those of us who are from here struggle to pay for healthcare and so much more.

That’s what my lovely state is up to. Me… I’m going to my doctor in a couple of hours for what I hope isn’t my newest problem since I seriously can’t seem to catch a break. For many years I’ve had issues with my white blood cell count being a little elevated but this appears to be normal for me. But now my red blood cell count is slightly elevated too, so I guess that’s just one more thing I have to deal with. I don’t think it’s any big deal, though. She’ll probably just tell me something like to avoid iron supplements, which I don’t bother to take anyway. I guess iron supplements can generate more red blood cells. They can also block thyroid production along with calcium.

I guess there are a few underlying causes with varying prognoses. I found that I have some symptoms of some of the causes, but then most of us have some symptoms of just about everything anyway. Still makes me wonder about those head rushes, fatigue and shit like that which I always wrote off as perimenopause.

Trying not to worry about it, and remind myself that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, which includes making yet even more appointments. I just want a break until my September dentist appointment and without any anxiety!

The interesting part of the results which were posted at 10:30 last night was that my cholesterol has actually improved. Improved! How did I manage that when I’ve eaten more meat lately and have been lazier due to the heat? It’s like I barely work out anymore. I was getting discouraged because I knew I couldn’t stick to it since I don’t feel all that great so much of the time.

Definitely taking Tom in with me to the appointment this time around.

Later…

My appointment with Dr. A went well. She understands that she can’t make me take the medication as recommended and that if I believe it’s the cause of some of my anxiety, as I do, then I gotta do what I gotta do to feel better. Besides, it’s not like I’m putting myself in danger. As I told her, if I’d gotten to the lab just one week earlier, I’d have given her good numbers. I skipped on the 9th, 13th and 19th, then again on Monday. From now on I will be skipping on Mondays BEFORE the anxiety has a chance to ramp up due to accumulation, and if that doesn’t alleviate the anxiety as Tom and I think it will, then we’ll reevaluate and try something else. It’s probably a combination of the ADD, high HR and perimenopause that makes me so sensitive to levothyroxine, but as we discussed, maybe I can take it regularly after the perimenopause is at least eliminated from the equation. But even though I felt relatively calm, my HR was clocked at 100. BP was pretty good, though. Weight’s the same. I can eat all I want as long as I keep active and don’t eat for pleasure. Only when I’m hungry.

I can pull my TSH back down a little more without becoming anxious, though. That’s no problem, as I also told her. It doesn’t need to be as high as 16 to feel better. I just didn’t know it would jump that fast from just a few skips – oops. But I can get it down to about an 8. Anything lower and the anxiety bites. It is the most god-awful thing I ever experienced. No life situation or other medication has ever made me feel that bad. I’m probably already back down to 12, now that I’m getting a better idea of how the doses and numbers work. Doc O said it’s best to keep it under 10. I’ll get there.

Even though I figured it was no big deal that my red and white blood cell count numbers were slightly elevated, a small part of me was like, oh no, please don’t tell me I have a whole new medical problem on my hands. But she’s not worried about it. She’s just going to keep a watch on that as well as my thyroid. Again, I’m not surprised. My dreams would have warned me if there was trouble ahead.

I’m still amazed that my lipid panel was actually better. She said it’s improved but still not at their goal, and that if I ever want to try medication, let her know. LOL, no chance, lady. No one who’s ever been medically traumatized is ever going to wake up one day wanting more medication.

It’s now been about one year since I was EMDR’d. I haven’t had any panic attacks since, though I sure have come close a few times.

So back to the lab in September and December but I don’t need to see her until December. In fact, I’ll be seeing her on my 52nd birthday at 8 AM. Tom’s going to take that day off and then we’ll make a day of it doing whatever after what I hope is a quick visit.

I showed her the mild rash I have under my arms and she recommended hydrocortisone twice a day. I wasn’t sure what to treat it with so it’s nice to know that now. Most of the time I don’t notice it, though. It’s pretty mild.

Things are otherwise continuing to go well. I was counting a lot of cash in my handbag, looked at him and said, “Wow, who would’ve ever thought there would come a day when I pulled out all this money from my purse that I totally forgot I had?”

It’s mostly for anything urgent that may arise since we do most of our shopping online or with debit and credit cards.

We stopped at Raley’s on the way home for some cooked food and treated ourselves to ice cream as well. These triple-digit temps are perfect for ice cream.

So now that I got my appointment out of the way and don’t have anything until my September dental appointment, and now that my TSH isn’t under 8, I’m feeling great both emotionally and physically. Wish I could always feel this way! I want to go out for a run being so full of energy, but there’s no way I’m running in this heat. Once my schedule rolls forward a bit more I can be out real late when it’s cooler. So while I’d choose to always be on days if it were up to me, CRD does have its advantages.

That loud car is coming and going. I thought I saw a moving truck there when we were heading toward the back gate, but it could’ve been people moving into the house next to them. I can’t wait for these people to move. I just hope to hell whoever moves into the four houses that are for sale on the circle doesn’t have such insanely loud vehicles.

The house diagonally from us in back appears to have been abandoned. There’s a notice in the window of the door leading to the carport. I guess they’ve got so much time before they can sell it.