The anxiety started to slowly creep up to the surface, but then it dropped way down below where I like it. Again I was looking at foods that are both good and bad for anxiety. I was surprised when I read that whole wheat bread as well as canned soup isn’t good. Same goes for artificial sweeteners. The problem is that foods are so contradictory that it gets confusing. Something can be good for you in one way but bad for you in another.

I’ve been doing my best to distract myself. Only thing is that writing, coloring and language lessons don’t quite distract me as well as walking through stores, swimming, or even going to an appointment. While I have been spending too much time alone, which isn’t good for me, as Stacey said, it still has a way of making me wonder if it’s something connected to this house as unhaunted as it may seem. I don’t think this weekend would be good for the cleansing sage, which smells like shit even when it’s not burning. I’m not going to be up late enough in the morning.

I’m also trying not to think of my worst fear in life… hitting menopause just to continue to have these anxious feelings every now and then, which can morph into depression. What if I was handed a life sentence of anxiety three years ago? Every time we’re sure it’s gone for good, we’re wrong. So how can we be so sure this will one day end?