Today I was rescued from the NHA 4 years ago. Like with Brattleboro and Valleyhead, it seems like centuries ago as well as yesterday. Most things kind of always feel that way, I guess.

The Melatonin may be a bust after all. I couldn’t fall asleep till around midnight, maybe later and I got up at 9:15. So unless I can back my schedule up, it will keep rotating around, but slower. I knew things were too good to be true and I wonder why I don’t feel our new position won’t work. I should feel it won’t work cuz I still say he’s either against a kid or has a physical problem.

Why do I feel and know he won’t cum this way? I felt and knew other things we tried wouldn’t work, so what makes me think this could be different? Maybe the reason I don’t feel what I should feel is that I’ve long come to accept and expect the obvious. It’s still been easier to deal with too, which I believe is due to my talk with Tammy and my praying for help with dealing with it and for help to do what’s right for me.

I picked the perfect day yesterday to straighten my hair since I won’t be swimming for a handful of days. It’s cooler now and it sort of feels like September.

Later…

I finished whiting out the backgrounds on all the pictures I could.

I can’t believe it’s late May out there. It feels like September or October. It’s overcast and slightly cool.

I took an old piece of plastic which I’ll use to cover the cushions on the bench swing. Those birds really messed up that thing!

Tom’s stopping by his parents’ place after work to mow their lawn so we won’t be so tied up this weekend, then he’s gonna grab some groceries on the way home. He says if I need to get a hold of him call him over there at his parents' place.

Later…

Chicken pigeon returned yesterday, but I haven’t seen him today.

I found it rather ironic that my horoscope said I’m in a “position” to help someone tremendously, so it’d be foolish not to. I just can’t imagine it. I just can’t imagine Tom getting off all of a sudden. I can’t imagine him ever getting off. I’m sure he would not lie and say he did, though. He tried that once and saw it didn’t work.