Not much else happened last night.

As soon as I told Tom I was sexually content, but would be happy to take care of him, he lost interest. Pleasing me really makes him happy and is all that matters to him. Why aren’t I flattered? I should be.

My wonderful drawing luck has been compensated when I tried doing more people. Better run back to flowers and animals for a while.

Last night I took a Mel. I slept from around 11:00 – 6:00. So far, so good, and tonight will make 5 nights of sleeping at night. Last night was the first night in quite a while where I didn’t wake up having to pee. I’m able to go back to sleep, though, when I do get up to pee.

If this 10-year-long depressing, frustrating sleeping schedule truly is over - what a miracle! A sign of some big deal job or that college is on for September? Maybe. Otherwise, why wasn’t there help with this problem a long time ago? What a shock, though. I’d have bet my life on never being able to solve or fix my schedule problem. If only I could be made to eat my words yet again and get pregnant! One of my biggest fears about it has just been dealt with and taken care of. It would take my getting pregnant to be an optimist, but I know better. It’s impossible with Tom, the DES and God. If an outer source influenced Tom hearing about and getting the Melatonin and me taking it for the help I needed from it, I wonder who it is. God? Robin? Something or someone else?

I think I finally figured something out. I asked myself how I knew I couldn’t be wrong about feeling and believing I’ll never have a kid like I ended up being wrong about getting here and marrying. It’s a woman’s intuition. Women’s intuition doesn’t apply to moving or marrying in the way that it applies to having a kid. That’s how I know for sure with no doubt that I’ll never have a kid.

Well, I think I’ll go read the romance book I’m reading.

Later…

I got a boring letter from Bob with a few boring drawings that weren’t too impressive. He can do better.

He also sent me a picture of his 101-year-old dad who recently died and his 2 sisters. His dad’s 2 sisters, not his, I think. One of the sisters and Bob haven’t seen or spoken to each other in 40 years. I wonder why?

I was so pissed cuz the pretty floral lounge chair we got last spring ripped. I nearly fell through. Now I have to sit on the grass on a towel, but that way is easier to lay on my back and stomach and get a more thorough tan.

I’ve got good color now. Not great color, but I’m not ghostly white.

I changed and added words to Bob’s letter and I’ll send it to Kim in my next letter to her.

Later…

Tom’s going through his mail now.

It’s too early for sex, but I’m not really in the mood for it, so I doubt he will be.

We played cards earlier and now I’m just killing time till a movie I want to see goes on. Perhaps I’ll go draw or write. I have a list of drawings I want to do black and white duplicates of in my sketchbook.