I just let Bunny run around in the yard a bit. It’s gorgeous out and it is that time of year now to smell the orange blossom’s wonderful scent.

In the direct sun, though, it’s too hot.

Later...

My parents just called. It looks like Ma’s gonna be leaving FL June 1st, but when dad will be here, isn’t known yet. Dad had a map in front of him and he wanted to know what our crossroads were, so I told him.

Ma got on the phone and was demanding to be thrown a birthday party when she gets here. She’ll be 65. Then she said she’d be here only 3-4 days and I told her that would be enough. Then she heartily agreed and we laughed and joked about that.

Then ma said she’d bring some recipes, so she could teach me to cook a few things. I then reminded her that that would be a dream come true for her. About two years ago she told me she had a dream she came out here and taught me to cook something new each night she was here. She said, “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”

Later...

Speaking of God deciding who has babies and when, and him not giving me any more than I can handle. I sure as hell hope that now that it looks like my parents are dead serious about coming out here this year, that he holds off till after that, if he’s gonna give us a child. I don’t want the double whammy. I couldn’t deal with my folks coming out and being pregnant at the same time and I still don’t know if they’d come out if they knew I was pregnant in the first place. It’d be their loss and I’m certainly not gonna put up with any bullshit from them, but I’d rather see them, then have the kid after, if God should decide to let me have one. I hate it when too many things happen at once and at their ages and with their health problems, this could very well be the last time I ever see them, so I wish to get that out of the way without other things being on my mind.

I’m really stepping up the action now to lose weight. I don’t see why God wouldn’t allow me to lose weight if I try hard enough. I know it’s up to him, but I’m sure he’ll see to it that it’s OK for me to go ahead and lose the weight. Not that I won’t tease them back, but I don’t want my folks teasing me over how fat I’ve gotten and how long my hair is. I’m sure, though, one of them is bound to ask me when I’m gonna cut that mop off. When we have a kid. And that’s a million-to-one chance. Right now, though, I’ve never been gladder that we are very talented in not hitting it right.

Anyway, another reason I want to lose weight, besides not wanting to look like shit and get ranked on for it, is so that I have a wider variety of clothes to wear. I’m sick of being too big for most of my clothes.

Dad asked me if I’d heard from Larry. No, I said, and then asked if he had. He said no. Then after we spoke, I called him and he says he’s been having some bad days. I feel so bad for him.