I just talked to both my dad and Larry. They both say they’re getting rain.

Dad said they’ve been going back and forth between the store and playing bingo. A new Arizona bingo lottery game just started, but we lost.

When I called Larry at work, I told the receptionist that I was his sister. Then a thought hit me - he’d want to know which one since he doesn’t want anything to do with Tammy. Sure enough, the lady came back on the line and asked which one. He still sounds kind of down, but not as down as he’s sounded in the past. He’s just working, as usual, and that’s it.

When I called Tom’s mom’s house yesterday, Evie answered and said that was really sweet of my parents to bring gifts for their kids and I gave her their address in case she wants to send a thank you note, as she mentioned.

No, I don’t think the fact that I haven’t heard that dog barking out front had anything to do with God, or else God would have taken care of those two dogs, too. I now believe it was a stray. A big, fierce-sounding dog wouldn’t suddenly shut up and mellow out and I thought it had sounded really, really close when I went outside to see if I could tell where it was coming from. That’s scary to think of now, cuz I realize that that huge thing really was no doubt on the street right by the house and it could’ve attacked me. I remember how loud and close it sounded and how it scared the shit out of me. Something told me I wasn’t safe there and to run back into the house. Well, I’m still glad I haven’t had to listen to it, anyway, so now the living room can remain peaceful. As I said, the summer isn’t bad for barking dogs around here. Since dogs are made to live in their owner’s yards only, all year round here, they cannot use their energy to bark when it’s really hot, or else they’ll get overheated. I’ve heard the old man’s dog a bit more at night, but that dog has never barked as much as the two dogs do in the winter.

Tomorrow I get that cavity filled and Tom said that tomorrow would be a little inconvenient for him, but we’ll work it out. Oh well. I tried.

I had a funny chat with Kim the other day. She was in two car accidents, not one. The first one, she got cement dumped on her in Springfield, cuz cement fell through an area that they were doing construction on. She was one of 10 cars to get dumped on and I guess she’ll get a settlement out of that. The other accident was her fault, but it was so funny, that I couldn’t help laughing. Even Tom was laughing about it, but I do feel bad for the poor girl. She must feel so embarrassed and guilty and she said she felt bad and guilty, too. Well, she rammed into her boyfriend! They were leaving from somewhere in their own cars when she got to daydreaming and plowing into him and she totaled her car. Now her insurance has to go up cuz of this. I told her that at least she hit someone who loves her and she was like, “No, no, no! I wish I hit a stranger.” Then, “No, I wish a stranger had hit me, cuz I hate being at fault.”

I was laughing at the part where she kept telling Walter when this happened, that she just couldn’t get close enough. Imagine ramming the one you love, though? Oh, I’d feel so guilty and embarrassed! Like a complete fool! It’s still so damn funny, though, even if I do feel terrible for her.

I also got a kick out of how the Northampton paper (where she rammed Walter), claimed she was treated for numerous injuries. All she really did, though, was bang a knee a bit, but she’s fine.

There are a couple of other things I wonder about Tom, although I may have mentioned this before. First of all, we screwed yesterday, he didn’t cum, then said he likes sex whether or not he cums. Yeah, I believe that and that’s rather unfortunate when you’re trying to make this baby you can never have.

Anyway, one of the things I wonder about is how blinded he’s become and if he can ever be “unblinded.” He still insists that he’s the one who knows the truth and that I don’t (about my getting pregnant and how that’ll happen without a doubt, as far as he’s concerned). I know that a person can be so set in their beliefs that they can’t see anything different if something’s changed. It’s like with Tammy, for example. She’s so set in her belief that I can’t sing, then when I really couldn’t sing well, then became a better singer, she could never see that cuz she just never wanted to. If Tom would cum every day for years, would he then still be set in his belief that I was OK? Or would he be able to see reality? I had asked him if he thought I’d ever have the guts to be able to walk into a fertility clinic and set aside my this-isn’t-fair attitude and my beliefs that God would just take away anything a doctor put in there. He said he couldn’t answer that, cuz in his mind, there’s no doubt about the fact that I’m fine and will conceive.

I also wonder if deep down he’s afraid to find out I’m right and is afraid to have to deal with that, so maybe that’s why he’s not cumming regularly? Is he stalling for time on finding out who’s really right out of fear?