I'm currently in a semi-bummed-out mood right now. As usual, it's all about the baby I'll never have. Am I ever going to be free of this? All I know is that I'm really gonna feel like life is one big sentence if I don't get over these feelings. The thought of spending decades feeling this child missing from my life is both saddening and scary.

I got a letter from Bob yesterday. He says that if God really loves me like the bible says, he will let me get pregnant, but there is no God that loves me. Absolutely no loving God up there for me and you know what I think of most of the bible - hogwash! Filled with tall tales that no one can prove.