Again I got a little strange in my sleep. Twice I took the notebook I keep by the bed and moved it, though this time I didn’t tear pages out of it. I just placed it on the bed. What is it with me and that little notebook in my sleep? Was I dreaming of writing at the time?

I was reading a story on Facebook about a woman whose daughter was murdered by her ex. She called it God’s will. If that’s God’s “will,” then that’s even more reason for me to dislike anyone who could “will” an innocent child to be brutally murdered.

As I proofread old journals there are so many unanswered prayers throughout them. Just so, so many. Reasonable prayers that weren’t off the wall like asking to fly or to grow money trees would be. It’s too bad prayer is a bunch of bunk because then I’d pray for more rain. Jesse hasn’t been too bad lately, though not a day goes by that I don’t hear something from him, but by 9am yesterday, they were already sawing in back.

I’m going to do a test and replace the white noise I’ve been sleeping with on the stereo with one of the newer sound machines. I want to see if it will drown out certain sounds (hopefully it won’t jinx the weekend nighttime barking into starting back up again). I think it will drown out our outrageously loud microwave, but I’m not so sure about things like motorcycles, planes and other loud vehicles. I want to know before we move whether or not I should set up the stereo for sleeping or the sound machine at the new place. If I can’t sleep through the motorcycle with the regular sound machine, then I probably won’t be able to sleep through trash, delivery and service trucks in the park with it either. This is what I want to find out in advance.

I’m also going to do a meatball test in half an hour and Andy’s onion test next week since we already did our grocery shopping for the week. Yesterday I had a burn in my throat after having some meatballs that may’ve been heartburn. Greasy foods are said to be a possible cause for that, so I want to see if it burns again after I have the ones I’m cooking now.

Andy said he placed bowls of sliced onions throughout his place to absorb odors and noticed a week later that his own heartburn was gone, he’s sleeping better, has more energy, and feels better overall. Like me, he wakes up several times throughout the night and says he hasn’t done that with the onions hanging around. He changes them every few days as they dry up and that the place won’t smell like onions or make you cry.

As Tom reminded me, we have money and can afford extras. Extras like real language learning software that contains full-blown courses one usually has to pay to take. Livemocha free programs aren’t as complete as some of the software sold by companies like Rosetta Stone, Rocket, etc. Sometime after the move, I’m going to get one for fun, but I don’t know which language. I’d like to get Hawaiian, but that’s hard to find. Therefore I’ll have to decide if I want to perfect one of my speaker languages, reader languages, or start a whole new one from scratch. My speaker languages are Spanish, Italian and German. My reading languages are Portuguese, Esperanto and French.

I have felt better since removing myself from cyber society without removing myself. Meaning that I’m no longer as easy to contact or befriend and am no longer open to new friends, but have hung onto those who are already in my circle.

Despite not being very fond of a few groups in general who have caused me and others so much pain, I never saw the point in not being polite and even friendly to an individual from one of these questionable groups who had never done anything wrong to me personally. I loved meeting new people from all different walks of life all over the world. It was fun and interesting for a while. The best part was that it was all done online making it easier for one to avoid those that go wacko, as opposed to those you may have issues with that you have to either live or work with.

While I am no longer accepting new buddies after dealing with my share of trolls, stalkers, rude assholes, hypocrites and other fucktards, I will be polite but not friendly, same as I would with people in person. I don’t mind chatting with someone I may meet at the pool if the park we move to has one, but I don’t plan to visit them or have them visit me for coffee. It’s safer and easier that way, and well, I just don’t want potential trouble so close to home.

I don’t feel wrong, sorry or guilty for living like I do or for leaving sites like Ask and making myself less accessible to what could be more trouble or more good friends. I don’t care who may decide I am “abnormal” or just not right in the head either. I’m happier this way and if something makes me happy, that’s all that matters. Not whether or not someone thinks it’s right or wrong. Presently, I have enough friends and there are only so many hours in a day and so many people one can be a friend to anyway.

Even Andy’s sick of Ask. We use FS as a means of keeping in touch and sharing pics rather than to see who asks us what.

Molly’s still the same old sad sorry self. She hates Marbridge, the people there tell on her, and she wants to go home. Her parents said she couldn’t come home till she has a full-time job, which she feels the chances of getting are slim. Well, I sure hope so! Full-time job or not, as soon as she’s out of there she’s going to be online more. Then again, she can’t get a hold of me that easily, so I guess it doesn’t matter.

What a fucking hypocrite, though, saying she “doesn’t mention her former friends in her blog anymore.” But what do you call that? That’s mentioning them. Or is she just too stupid to know it?

Someone’s fucking with her on Ask. Not on her blog lately because they can’t leave comments there. I don’t know if this is something she set up or a glitch, but I’d say it’s a glitch. My first guess is Kim, of course, but I also wonder about Alison, Adonis, Kathy and others she’s fucked with along the way.