OMG, this is too fucking funny! Since reactivating my Ask account, what I suspect to be Molly, asked if I thought I was going to hell right around the time she answered her own question from someone asking her to guess who they are who supposedly checks her out on FB daily (I have her blocked there). I thought it might be her due to the way it was written, the nature of the question, then seeing that she was around at the time. I deleted this question.

Today, however, I get asked: Do you keep secrets from people?

I ran and found I had a blog view from Harlingen where Molly’s from that came in around the same time as the question. Molly’s group home is in Austin and she hasn’t said anything in her blog about going home anytime soon. This told me it was probably the mother, who has harassed me before right along with her darling daughter. Deciding to give Mommy Dearest a big shock at best if I were right, and at worst, not causing any harm if I were wrong, I answered with: Hello, Mrs. M. Long time no hear. That depends. Usually no. I just don’t feel I have anything worth keeping secret that’s that valuable. However, I may keep secret a party or a gift I may want to surprise someone with. Or I may keep secret the fact that I think so-and-so looks shitty so as not to hurt their feelings.

I posted my bio on OD last night and am flabbergasted by all the views it got. Been getting a lot of views there anyway as opposed to any other blog I’ve ever used, but this isn’t just for a few minutes as in most cases. This is for hours. There are a few people that have spent over 2-3 hours in it and many that spend 20-30 minutes in it.

Someone flung insults at me on MD mostly about God and “waiting for my dead parents’ money.” I thought of posting an altered version of their lovely feedback but decided to just ignore them for now. The email addy they used was bogus, too. My favorite part was when they said “Read your journals.” 

Haha, I don’t need to read them. I wrote to them. I know what’s in them.

It’s raining out there today. It began late yesterday afternoon. No barking, motorcycles or saws yesterday, but I got some hammering before the rain and was thinking to myself, “Come on, folks, give it up! We’re in the woods. Aren’t the woods supposed to be peaceful?

Anyway, tomorrow it’s back to dry sunshine and the usual buzzing of saws and intermittent loud vehicles. At least the dogs have been amazingly quiet. Don’t know if it will stay that way until we leave, but it’s nice for however long it lasts.

I’m getting impatient with wanting to move! Not because it’s so horrible here or anything like that, but my days of renting little old dumps have finally caught up to me. I rolled with the punches as best I could for a while and now this isn’t good enough for me anymore. Or for Tom. We want space and a place we can call our own! Renting was fine for a while. I liked the idea of having the repair expenses be on a landlord or a management company, but it would be plenty worth it to do it all ourselves. This way we could do it our way and at our convenience unless it was an emergency.

Sometimes I wish there really was such a thing as prayer and that I could pray to speed things up, but know that things have to play themselves out the way they were meant to and all I can do is make the best of it.

We learned our bank does manufactured home loans, so they may help us if a homeowner doesn’t want to finance us.

Things are still looking good and if all continues to go well, we should be getting really close. Just maybe Tom will be right and we’ll pick out a place sometime in April and be out of here in May. But this is it. The bum living ends the day we leave this dump. After Tom got his job I kept telling myself to just enjoy the money while it lasted because we would surely be poor again since we already have been a few times, but I can’t accept that anymore. Enough is more than enough. Just like I refuse to be anyone’s legal victim ever again (or any other kind of victim) I refuse to let society, the economy or God force us into poverty ever again. We’ve done our time struggling and living like bums. Never again! We will do our part to save and be smart with our money, but we won’t let anyone do their part in destroying us and taking all we’ve worked for. Even if God took his mighty fist and slammed it down upon our future home, there will still be money saved in 3 separate locations and insurance to rebuild with.

Tom will be interviewed for the job I strongly sense he’ll get. My vibes say $16.60 an hour, though most people who do the job he’s interviewing for get $18. If it’s not a big enough raise, he’s not going to take the job because A, second shift is never as safe as first even if the hours would be better for us, and B, he would lose tons of OT which could actually mean making less money if he didn’t get much of a raise. Without bonuses and OT his pay would now be 28K which is really just average. Average to most people but rich to us after receiving $1200 a month for years from Unemployment. There will still be some OT on second shift, just not as much.

I know I should work out today since I skipped yesterday, but I just don’t feel like it. Losing and regaining the same damn 5 pounds is rather discouraging. And oh, that PMS hunger! There’s just no controlling it. Tomorrow Tom’s stopping by the mail place to pick up our packages on the way home from work and is also stopping off at KFC. I’m going to eat and eat till I’m so sick I don’t ever want to eat again!

Decided to give Tom the Kindle holder for his tablet. I don’t like it much after all. Because the headboard shelf is rounded on the edge it couldn’t clamp to it very well and it fell off. Fortunately, it waited till after I got up to do it. It’s also a pain in the ass getting the angle just right and keeping the print in portrait mode instead of landscape, and a pain to take in and out of the holder. I like to use it while I’m on the treadmill, and I have to take it out to charge it, too. Lastly, it kind of sucks to think you’ve got it raised up high enough at bedtime just to accidentally punch it when you’re fluffing up the covers. I would really rather just hold it at this point.

Later…

Again with the Estrella jail view on MO (I forgot I had two entries about that lovely time) this time appearing to be in Minnesota, though I strongly believe it’s the same person with a dynamic IP which means they share an IP that changes often. All their other info is the same. Same browser, same OS, same everything. This time they spent 13 minutes on my blog and browsed my ‘about’ page as well as the entry leading up to being thrown in jail. I don’t know that it’s connected to Nancy or the blacks, though, because they haven’t been to my other blog. I think it’s someone with an interest in Estrella jail, though. Either someone who was there or knew someone who was there. I’ve still got the jail entries set to friends for now.

Got a direct hit from Houston on the same blog Mommy Dearest viewed. Wonder if there was a connection there?

Either way, I couldn’t resist the urge to unblock her on Facebook and tell her that I answered her question, but please leave me alone. I wished her the best but reminded her that I didn’t want any contact with her or Molly.

If I’m right and it really was her, she’s got to be reeling with shock trying to figure out how the hell I knew it was her, LOL. I’m surprised she didn’t hit back with a nasty reply and more legal threats. But she hasn’t done that and she hasn’t denied or confirmed anything. Maybe she’s just waiting till she thinks up the best words to say to me.

The troll keeps peeking in on me nearly every day, sometimes more than once. I used to think she was looking for Alison’s name, and maybe that used to be the case, but now I don’t know. She views every single comment I get which is pretty much only from Adonis since I keep communication to a minimum there, so I don’t know what she’s looking for. She can’t possibly read every single word I write. She’s not in long enough. Maybe she just likes making her presence known, in her mind, on my tracker.

I made sure to avoid news headlines today. If you want to remain happy, reading the news is not the way to do it. We make no excuses for pedophiles whatsoever yet we make all the excuses in the world for rapists. And people wonder why I prefer to spend so much time alone or with my husband? Funny, ain’t it?

I’m not going to say in public how I knew it was the troll’s mother who asked if I keep secrets on Ask, but I realize that a lot of the rude questions I got in the past could have been from her as well as the usual trolls and whoever else. I forget at times that yes, mothers really do do this shit at times and can be no better or more mature than their daughters when they should be setting a better example for them instead. It’s just hard to fathom that an adult in their 50s – a mother of 3 and grandmother of 2 – can be so hateful, vengeful and immature. But the sad reality is that they can. They can be every bit as bad as their fucked up offspring and sometimes worse. Imagine if her students knew just what their teacher does in the privacy of her own home at times. Some example she is, huh?

She sure is tall and anorexic looking, though. Molly’s gained a lot of weight, though. Probably all the drugs they keep her doped up on.

All I ever wanted for the last 4 years was a life without these people in it. I don’t want to be their friend. I don’t want to be their enemy. I just want to be as meaningless to them as one of the snowflakes they stood in when posing in front of a private plane. They may have money and I may be forever poor in comparison, but they have NOTHING else as far as I’m concerned. To me, they are just another grain of sand lost in the dirt that surrounds this place.

But what do I have? Huh? What do I have that keeps them hooked on me? I obviously have something that is so damn interesting that’s had them tailing me for this long, and what I sadly realize could be for the rest of my life. Really, I can’t do anything without them knowing about it. I can’t allow for comments just anywhere because they’ll stalk, follow and pester me every chance they get. I can’t do much of anything unless I don’t use my name or make sure I’m careful about who can find out about it. For now… their money won’t save them when they cross the line and go too far.

Later…

LOL, Judy blocked me after peeking in on the entry I just posted about her, which I had removed by the time she peeked in on me again. My mentioning seeing her pics must’ve freaked her out, hahaha. Ah, but I have no sympathy for Judy M. Or her darling daughter. I just hope these two don’t start shit with me all over again. Worst-case scenario I deactivate on Ask again and I go private on MD if they start harassing me there, too. They never have yet, though I suppose they could start. Meanwhile, I wonder if Judy will be back tomorrow to add to the 46 minutes she spent on my blog today.

Later…

Now she says on Ask that she doesn’t know what I’m talking about, she hasn’t asked me any questions, please do not contact her again. I just told her I was sorry for any mix-up on my part. Do I think I could be mistaken about who asked me about secrets? No, I don’t. But I don’t want any trouble either.

She just thanked me and told me to have a nice life. “You too, ma’am,” I told her.

Now let’s see how often she comes to my blog tomorrow.