I should write down the series of strange dreams I had before I forget them. They’re just bits and pieces of senseless things, but I always thought it was neat to be able to look back upon dreams from years ago. Even fragments of dreams could hold meaning in them one can’t see at the time.

In the first fragment, I was part of a group home similar to what Molly’s in. At least I think it was supposed to be for the mentally fucked in the head. Anyway, I was in some field with a dozen or so others. Half a dozen of them were fellow group homies. The other half were staffers, but the “staffers” were a mix of former Valleyhead staff and detention officers from jail. One was “Teddy Bear,” the DO I liked that liked me back. The field had a grassy section. Someone asked why there was more grass there than other areas which were predominantly patches of dirt.

“Probably because the ground forms a bit of a dip in this section and is able to hold more rainwater,” I said, half hoping to impress Teddy Bear with my answer. Then I asked her if I were fat and she nodded.

Then I realized I had ballet slippers on and did some amazing spins I could never do in real life. One of the residents commented on it and I said, “Here, I’ll do a whole routine.”

Next thing I know I’m waking up from a nap. I’m in back of the group home on the top of the steps leading to the kitchen. Surprised to see that it was dark out, and hoping there were no bugs crawling on me, I groggily pulled myself up and stepped into the lighted kitchen. No one was there and I felt kind of hurt that no one saved me any dinner. I considered washing all the dishes that were piled up in the sink but then thought better of it.

I turned and headed back outside. Next thing I know it’s light again and I’m where a main road and a side street form a T. I had to get home to my parents’ house and started to turn down the side street until I realized that was silly. All I had to do was follow the main road a few blocks, turn right and there they would be. The house was on the corner. When I passed by our neighbor I thought it rude of the adults that lived there to allow their kids to keep their toys on the sidewalk. There was even a “cage” of sorts for the kids to play ball in without smashing windows or hitting cars.

I rounded the corner and climbed a series of cement steps, finding it weird that they led to a window and not a door. But when I saw that the window was open, I climbed in and was then inside an empty bedroom (mine?). I heard my mom talking on the phone in her bedroom next to this one and walked into the room. I kept hoping she’d notice me, put the phone down and want to chat. When she didn’t, I walked down a hall and into the living room where I noticed the front door was open. I thought that Dad must’ve stepped outside for a minute, and then woke up.

This isn’t the first dream I’ve had where they were still alive.