I was thinking more about Nancy, and like it or not I still have mixed emotions about the whole thing. Threatening to yank someone off their bunk and beat them up simply because you’re having a bad day is no laughing matter. I was first scared and then very angry. Still am, in some ways, because I never received an apology, though at the same time, I understand that jail has a way of causing you to lose touch with reality and not be very rational.

Nancy was bigger and stronger than me. I was scared. There’s no saying what she might’ve done to me had the detention officer not passed by when she did. Nancy’s one of those that no matter how fit I could become, she could probably always kick my ass. Maybe she was bluffing and just blowing off steam. But if she could attack a cop she could have attacked me. I knew it and I think she knew it, too.

Then she demanded I hand my jailhouse journal over to her or else! Well, here they are Nancy, if you ever read this. Do I hate you now 12 years after the fact? No, I don’t. I saw the good in you as well as the bad. I will admit that the thought of you reading the journals online where anyone could see them was amusing at first. I know, I know, kinda childish, but hey, even I’m not perfect. But maybe you will learn something from these words.

If you had attacked me, I’d probably have been defenseless and you’d probably have gotten away with it thanks to our fucked up laws and twisted God above. But just because I couldn’t fight back with my hands doesn’t mean I can’t with words, and I have, even if they can’t harm you. I don’t want them to harm you. Harming you isn’t the point or my goal. But again, maybe the lesson to be learned is that the past really can come back to haunt us in ways we least expect, for neither of us could have foreseen the internet becoming what it is today. Maybe you’ll never read this, maybe you will. Maybe if you do you’ll laugh or maybe you’ll be pissed or maybe you’ll feel a tinge of guilt for threatening someone half your size and strength. How you take these words is up to you.

Your sister said I used your last name, but I did a universal blog search as well as an individual blog search and I don’t see it. If you can figure out how to message me (I can no longer see into your accounts and don’t know if you have me blocked or it’s a glitch or even if your sister got my reply) send me the link to the blog your last name is supposedly in and I will remove it.