When my hard-working hubby comes home, his laundry will be done and his food will be ready. So those are two fewer things he has to worry about. Makes me feel good to do what I can to make his life a little easier. I hope the new shoes he got help his heel. At $100, they better! He’ll return them if there are any problems. Just because we have money doesn’t mean we want to waste it.

While I still would have gladly settled for only being able to pay for the bare necessities after the hell we went through, it is nice to have extra. Extra money is really the only way to give one a real cushion of security as opposed to when you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

But all good things do usually come to an end. Sooner or later whatever is up there is going to yank the carpet out from under our feet and sit back and laugh while we struggle our asses off. Why not? It’s happened before. I’m talking about struggling to pay for what we need, not what we want. We struggled our first year in Oregon and nearly half a decade in Cali. If what happens once can happen twice, then what happens twice can happen thrice.

But what if it doesn’t? What if God takes our future home in other ways? He used money to take our home/land in Arizona, and then the land we planned to build on in Oregon. But what if we really are never poor again but I’m still right in assuming He doesn’t want us having a place of our own? What if He happens to see that it catches fire or some other disaster demolishes it? What if, what if, what if? It’s not going to stop us, though. We intend to be in the driver’s seat of our lives whenever possible.

When I was posting old journals last night I came across an interesting entry in the summer of 2010 where Andy said his guardian angel said I’d be so sick with a horrible cold from mid-January – mid-February, one that would fuck with my asthma and make me want to kill myself. But don’t do that, he also said, because something really good would happen in April.

Right month, wrong year. I was sicker than a dog in January and a little into February. I didn’t want to commit suicide, but I did have wheezing, congestion and the cough from hell.

Also, at the end of last year, I sensed a major change in April. Still don’t see how we could move by then or even have a place picked out, but we’ll see. I don’t think the change is to be bad, so maybe it’s when I’ll get my inheritance. That’s really all I can think of right now.

Andy also predicts that the whole world will experience some disaster, though he doesn’t know what or when. He says I may not lose my home but may be without power for a week, which would make people more compassionate to others when they lose power.

I’ve gone longer than that without power (sort of). When we first settled on our land in Arizona and then in Oregon, we had to use a generator for power and could only use it for so long. Otherwise, we had to rely on batteries whenever possible.

Also, experience doesn’t always breed compassion like we think it would and should. Sometimes it does, but I’ve seen enough fatties pick on other fatties, the poor pick on the poor, the legally screwed pick on others who got railroaded, and the sick pick on other sick people.

Got 2 of the 10 incense packs I ordered and both smell great. Halloween Scary Night by Gonesh and Shower of Flowers.

And no, I’m not denying myself eye treatment and lying about it to avoid being lectured. They said to call back if I had any questions, but no treatment was necessary at this time. I’m a little surprised they didn’t tell me to come back in a few months, so this makes me think the numbers are down pressure-wise. I could still develop problems in the future that will require treatment, but hopefully not.