Did my own nail design and hated how it came out. White, pink and green specs on royal blue and turquoise backgrounds. After I removed it I applied Nicole’s Iceberg Lotus, one of my favorites.

Now that my nails don’t look like a child had some fun with them, I’m ready to write. I was asked on Ask “You seem very negative. Is there anything that makes you truly happy?”

Pretty sure I know who asked this, too. I was a bit surprised. I thought we were done with each other. Aren’t they supposed to hate me? Either way, I didn’t mind answering the question and thought it’d make for a good blog entry.

Yes, many things make me happy. :) I realize that I can be a rather dynamic and dramatic writer who may come off as angrier, stressed or sad than she actually feels. I’ve noticed this in my writing before. Reading back on some things I said to myself, “I don’t remember feeling THAT upset.”

If I wrote, “I hate streaky nail polish, argh!” It could lead one who doesn’t know me very well to believe that streaky nail polish really pisses me off big time when in fact it’s just a small annoyance. But I write how I write. :) This doesn’t mean that I haven’t had many hardships that have helped hone my way of thinking and being. I have. There are many reasons I am the way I am.

To answer her question about what makes me truly happy - some of those are small things like a good book, a tasty meal, or my favorite music. Some are big things like the love of my husband, having enough food to eat, and not having to struggle to pay the rent. Things are TREMENDOUSLY better than they were a couple of years ago when things got so bad it damn near killed us. For years we tried desperately to grasp the reigns of our lives but it wasn’t to be for quite a while. But now we’re once again in the driver’s seat of our lives and we intend to keep it that way for as long as we can and try not to fall prey to circumstances out of our control, be it the economy, evil-doers, etc.

As someone else said, people would be just as quick to question me if I always wrote positive, happy things. They would demand to know what it was I was hiding. I’m not stupid. I know how people are. What some accept, others will challenge.

Later…

Sure enough, Kim’s at it again on Ask. So much for being a “changed” woman. She asked whatever happened to “Tia” and if we still keep in touch. Why would anyone else ask that? Then she said, “What makes you think this is Kim?”

Well, maybe it was Molly, Alison, Judy or someone else altogether, but somehow I doubt it.

Today I got more online attention from those I don’t care to get it from as opposed to those whose online presence and attention are always welcomed. Sad, huh? Makes me wonder just what it is I’m doing wrong. I’m sure someone on my-diary will be quick to tell me. That site seems to be the leader in insults for feedback, perhaps because it’s easier to hide there under false identities and email addresses. That’s ok. I can quit picking up messages there if I get tired of the same old kiddy drama. :)

I also got my first henna kit today and boy did I fuck up! First I had trouble transferring stencils, then I had trouble with the consistency of the dye. You squeeze the dye out of a bottle through a metal needle and the problem was that I kept getting such thick lines of dye that was hard to control. Because there was too much dye, it obscured the design I was trying to create. Sometimes the dye would stop flowing altogether due to little air pockets, causing me to have to squeeze a little harder and get an even bigger glob of dye.

So my thumb and index finger “rings” look like worms, my stars and hearts are distorted, my leafy vine looks more like a grapevine, and I don’t know how to describe the last two designs. They look alien. That’s all I can say.