I slept great and they came in silence next door. Yup, they’re back. I saw a car out there.

I updated my journal chart in columns, now that I know how to do that. I fit it into 2 pages and 2 columns.

I can’t get into my library book, so I think I’ll go work some more on the computer.

Later…

It’s already warming up out there and I’ve got my suit on, but I’ll wait a while before trying to get any color. Yesterday I was in the pool just up to the top of my belly button. It’s in the low 80s.

Tom went to bed about an hour ago and says tomorrow he’ll push himself to stay up as long as he can so he can work days again.

Tom says as soon as we’ve got the money, we can get those bee things, but he wonders if they’re for real and if they won’t rip us off. Well, it’s something I want really bad, so they just might rip us off.

They must’ve left early this morning cuz there’s no car over next door. Maybe they’re not fully moved in yet after all. If they’re not fully moved in, then I wonder where they’re coming from that’s allowing them to take their sweet time. Did they come from an apartment where their lease still isn’t up? Why would they get a house 2 or 3 months before their lease was up? Maybe they just couldn’t pass up this particular house for some reason. Still, they’ve been too good to be true and I hope and pray that it stays that way! I can’t believe how right Robin’s been so far, but believe what she told me yesterday? No way! I wish I could and there are some things she says that I can believe, but this?! I don’t think so.

Tom’s a smart guy, so why would it take him this long to realize that there are always gonna be things going on in life and start cumming now? No, he just plain and simply doesn’t want a kid. And I can’t see God changing his mind now either.

If I don’t get the rest of the stuff that Gloria’s fan club promised to send real soon, I’m gonna send them a letter about it. Gloria herself did say that she’d get on people’s cases about shit like this. But to pay $18 bucks for 1 picture, 1 pin, and 2 newsletters in 2 years is getting rather ridiculous.

Later…

I’ve created a new file called the backtrak file and it’s where I’m gathering all the stuff I’ve written about life before the journals. Most of it is life before the journals, anyway.

I’m gonna continue on now with life at the beach and then maybe I can describe where other family members lived and describe them better. I’ve already described members on Tom’s side of the family since we all met after I began writing and at a time when I wasn’t such a vague writer.

When I was little we rented a few places at an all-white, predominately Jewish beach in Old Lyme, Connecticut. It was just over an hour’s drive from our house in Longmeadow. I barely remember the places we rented, but I do remember when we got the one we owned. It was a run-down shack at the time and my parents fixed it up real nice in no time at all. It wasn’t too big of a cottage at all. About 600 square feet. It was in the shape of a square and had 4 bedrooms that were square to each other, a living room and eating area, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a small enclosed porch in front. We used the first front bedroom as a den. Eventually, two walls were torn out so there was one big master bedroom and one other smaller bedroom and the den and living room became connected and formed an L shape.

I hated it there and I loved it there, but for the most part, I hated it. I had to deal with my mother’s abuse and I was always jealous of other kids cuz they got to stay up later, or cuz they could wear the clothes they wanted or their hair the way they wanted and I don’t know how many other mothers called their daughters fat pigs. At the same time most mothers believe their kids are the best and want to show them off and speak well of them, my mother was always wishing I could be like some other kid and she had a lot of negative things to say about me constantly.

We were 7 cottages away from the start of the beach and next to me, lived Andy and his family for the summer. Our parents were good friends for about 30 years until the mid-70s.

We were on a lot called KOMMS since 7 families bought the 7 cottages at once on this lot. The last names were the initials. The K’s had a 2-story cottage. All the other cottages were the same size as ours.

My mother always made Tammy and I spend the day on the beach unless it was raining and I hated that. I’d want to go back and listen to music and just be alone, besides sleeping in, but Ma wouldn’t have it.

Some of the happier times I remember are when Nana and Pa, my mom’s parents, would come down from time to time and stay with us for a few days. July 4th fireworks were always nice as were the weekly movies they’d have a night on the beach and all the games they’d have a few streets down on Hartford Ave. Our street was Breen Ave.

Later…

I’ll continue on with the beach later, but Robin’s so full of it already! They just came home next door blaring that car stereo and I could hear it in the kitchen. That definitely would’ve woken me up and I couldn’t have been dreaming the other day. Oh, I’m so fucking pissed! Doesn’t this guy get it? If I get woken up one more time, I’m gonna go over there and talk to him.