Since the night I went to Andy’s, I’ve heard no music from next door. So, I’m sure that this means that before the weekend’s over, they’ll come blasting in. They seem to do this about once a week. I’ve seen a light on in their living room tonight and last night, but I can’t see if there are any cars out there. They seem to go to bed at 11:00. That’s when the lights go off. Someone has come and gone over the last couple of days and whoever did so did quietly, which I appreciate.

Andy’s had amazing luck. Hopefully, he’ll be surprised as I was when I found out I was coming here and when I met and married Tom. So far he has been surprised, though.

Well, he met that guy Brad that I mentioned before and he says Brad’s gorgeous and that Brad was also attracted to Andy. Brad says he’s looking for a serious relationship too, with just one person, so hopefully this is it for Andy.

Well, God didn’t and never will answer my prayers for a baby, but hopefully he’s answered my prayer for him to give Andy a break and send him the right guy cuz he deserves it.

Hopefully, Brad isn’t bullshitting Andy and isn’t only out for sex. Hopefully, he’s serious. This sounds really promising and I told Andy I had a good vibe. Plus, it seems logical that if they’re both attracted to each other and want the same thing, it should work out, as long as Brad’s serious and not putting Andy on.

I’m so happy for Andy if this really is his Mr. Right.

I started to watch a movie, but it sucked. When I’m in the mood for TV, nothing’s on, but when I have a million other things to do, there’s good stuff on. There’ll be 3 or 4 good movies on at once or none at all, and of course we only have two VCRs.

Andy said his landlord did get over there today and he said what Tom and I figured was the problem with the cooler. There’s a minor problem with the water pump and he says he’ll be back tomorrow. I told Andy that Tom offered to go over there this weekend and check it out if the landlord doesn’t put his actions where his mouth is. Andy said that was a generous offer that he’d take if he needs to.

I’m starving now. My not eating too much has caught up to me, so I think I’ll go make some hash browns or something. Right now, we don’t have too much variety in the way of food since it’s the end of the week. Tom’s gonna go shopping Saturday or Sunday. After I eat, I’m gonna take and go through next week’s TV guide and highlight everything I think I’ll want to watch.

Later…

Oh, that really sucks! So far, Brad’s dumped Andy, and Andy has an overwhelming vibe that all Brad wanted was sex and that when he saw he couldn’t get it right away, he split. Andy feels really cursed and I don’t blame him. I thoroughly understand and reminded him of how I’ll never have a kid. I still have a good vibe for Andy, but obviously it’s got nothing to do with Brad. I still hope it does, although I always saw a guy as unmeant to be for him as a kid is unmeant to be for me.

I wonder why, though. Is it cuz he’s too good for it? I notice that just like most parents are no good, most people in relationships are either no good or aren’t worthy of those they’re with. Is it due to being compensated for good health and other blessings? Is he being punished for the sins of his forefathers? Is he not ready yet? I think he’s more than ready.

Andy wondered if he were being denied love cuz God’s preparing him for some situation where he’ll need to be alone, but this makes no sense to me. I wondered if it could be cuz he wants it and I’ve said how I believe that the more you want something, the less likely you are to get it. He said no, cuz there were a handful of years where he didn’t want a relationship, and that didn’t mean guys were lined up at his door. This is probably true cuz during the 3 years I wasn’t looking for a woman, I wasn’t bombarded with offers from them.

Could God be denying me a child cuz he’s preparing me for something in which a child would be in the way? If so, what the hell could it be? I doubt God’s preparing me for anything else or that he feels I’m not ready yet. I believe he doesn’t want me to do or have first best and other than Tom, a kid and singing are first best and God knows it. I think it’s either a punishment or a protection thing or both and that’s why I’ll never have a kid.

If he sent Tom to me able and willing to cum (Tom is at least able) he’d just make sure the DES really got me good or something else or that Tom had a physical problem. If either one of us does have or ever has a physical problem, I can bet you God will make it irreversible.

Going through the TV guide and seeking out stuff that looks good sure is time-consuming. And I only check from 6 PM-4 AM. I still have to check Thursday and Friday.