Yup, the guy Andy met was ugly.

Sometimes I still wish Tom and I could have normal sex and a child, but I understand that this always will and must remain just a fantasy.

I’m through begging and pleading with Tom and God about it and they’ll never change their minds about it.

They’re over there next door now, but I don’t know for how long.

Tom’s been on the phone now for quite a while at the computer guiding Eldon through some problem.

He seems to be in a great mood since I said I knew I had to stick to my decision and since I told him I’ll try my best not to get upset over his decision which is the same as mine.

He was affectionate earlier but showed no desire to have sex. I saw a slight grin on his face when I went to use the vibrator. It was like he was saying to himself, “Oh, good. She’s gonna use the vibrator, so I don’t have to worry about her bugging me for sex.” I wonder if his grin also had to do with the fact that maybe he fucked up the vibrator as a mean, teasing joke. It seemed to lose half its power after I said I was getting dependent on it and he knows if that happens, he can’t tease me with sex as much.

I called my dad earlier to wish him a happy birthday and Ma was on the phone too. I told Dad that if we were there in June, I could help with fitting the candles on Ma’s birthday cake and that maybe we could get her a cake in the shape of an airplane.

He also said he spoke to Tammy who woke up to snow this morning! It’s April yet they still have snow!!