I just tried calling Andy, but there was no answer. I told him to call me whenever he could.

Last night we called that meeting line and I left a bogus message on it and in just an hour, I got 4 messages. They left their numbers and Andy and I called these guys back (he did all the dialing cuz he has his number blocked) and set up places to meet with them. All of them wanted to meet that night, except for one guy who wanted to meet the following afternoon. What desperate suckers! I mean, two of them wanted me, a complete stranger, to go to their houses and the other was to meet me at the Metro parking lot behind Dillard’s.

Anyway, Andy and I made a deal that I’d be serious if they did want to meet. If they didn’t, I’d go “crazy.” Since one of them didn’t want to meet that night, I read bits and pieces from a 1992 journal, like I was trying to be serious, I did my psycho laugh and mixed lines, etc. So, tonight, we’re gonna call back these suckers who were supposed to meet me and be wacky on them and give them the whole 9 yards.

Andy just called. I have a full mailbox, he says, when he last checked. In 45 minutes, he’s gonna call me back. This is just so much fun! It totally replaces prank phone calls and getting into trouble. I mean, it’s like making prank phone calls and playing with people’s heads and it’s legal.

Well, I do have more to write about, but I’ll save it for later. I’ll update you on our little game here and other things, but for now, I want to go read some more of my library book before it’s due.

Later...

OK, let me get on with things going on around here before I get into our little game.

Ma lent us a TV she hasn’t been using since last May. It’s the same size as ours, but now we can turn it on and off by remote and adjust the volume from the remote, too. It’s a little too dark, though.

I’m pissed that Tom’s keeping our old one. Now we have that TV hogging up space in here that he’s never gonna fix or sell them like he says he will. Most of the contents of the back room have broken stuff he always says he’s gonna fix and never does. What’s the point? Why not just get rid of the shit?

He went over to his mom’s to move the washer into her house. This is great of him to do, but once again, I reminded him we’ve got our own stuff to do. He says we’ll have plenty of time. I hope so.

We were talking about smokers tending to smoke more if they smoke lighter cigarettes. I told him I’ve been smoking more since my filters were punched and he says he disagrees. Then I asked him how he could tell me what smokers tend to do when he doesn’t even smoke. Then I said I couldn’t imagine having PMS to the degree which I have it, then finding out you’re pregnant (this is cuz he said we had to wait and see if I’d get the period I know I’m gonna get). Then he asks how can I know what to expect to feel when I’ve never had a kid, so therefore, how can I tell him he doesn’t know shit about smokers when I can’t know about degrees of feeling PMS when you’re pregnant? Trust me, there’s no way you can be pregnant and feel PMS to the degree that I have.

Then we were talking about how pinched nerves can cause phantom pains and I said, “I definitely don’t have phantom PMS. I certainly don’t have a pinched nerve in this uterus of mine and am definitely gonna be ragging.” Still, it was a funny joke and idea - phantom PMS.

He says that the reason he hasn’t cum since the 3rd is cuz of his tooth that’s been bothering him, but since he’s been taking ibuprofen and gargling with peroxide, it’s well on its way to being better. Like I said, he’s always got a problem and I don’t buy how sure and confident he sounds about the so-called birthday baby. I should be mid-cycle around my birthday. He says, “Look at the progression we’ve made. First we had to get me off, then get me off close enough to the time frame and now that we were close enough to it the last time, there should be no problem now that my tooth is better.”

Yeah, but like I said, how tired is he gonna be when the time is right again? What’s gonna hurt? And does he really think God would change his mind, anyway, after all this time of seeing that we don’t get to that final step, regardless of what control he may have had over that in the past?

Well, that’s about all that’s going on around here now. Things aren’t too bad. My mood was only bad a few nights ago when I mentioned it. My back is better and even the pre-cramps have eased up on me. It’s like the PMS is dwindling. I’m even 102 pounds and not 104 pounds, but my tits are way more sore than usual.

As far as our game goes, I can’t believe how stupid, naïve, and desperate these guys are, even though I can. I mean, they’re just way too trusting and way too forward. Also, they have no problems with letting me be way too forward and pushy by setting updates with them. Only a few wanted to meet tomorrow, but we got mostly answering machines tonight. So many guys, though, are willing to meet at their place. What if I were a lunatic? It’s like these animals have no respect or fear for their lives or their bodies. I could go into their houses, shoot them dead, then rob them blind.

So, this is what we did. Andy wrote down the numbers of the new messages people left and 99% of them left their numbers. First, though, we called the suckers I was supposed to meet with last night and let them know what a sucker they were and went wacky on them. When we called the new people, I left bogus numbers for them, said weird stuff, and won’t ever call them again. We don’t want to call people more than twice.

This is what I did with the people that answered tonight. I first tried to set up a date with them. Those that I was able to do so with, will be called back tomorrow to be told what suckers they were and to go crazy on, then they’re history. Anyone who answered tonight, but didn’t want to meet till tomorrow, I went nuts on but gave them that bogus number which I know damn well they’ll call. I’ve gone crazy on this one guy in particular twice, yet he still wants to meet. They’d still want to meet even if I told them I was going to kill them or cut their dicks off!

Tomorrow night, we’re gonna go through the same routine. Call the suckers who set up meetings with me tonight, let them know what they are, be nutty, then ditch them. Then call the new suckers. Those victims of mine will get wacky messages with bogus numbers if I get machines and I won’t call them back. The thing of it is, though, is that you’d think that those I got a hold of that didn’t want to meet right away, that I went psycho on, still wouldn’t want to meet me, but they do. So those I get a hold of that don’t want to meet right away can still be set up. I can still be crazy, give them my number, and they’ll try to call for a meeting the next day. Then the ones who do meet me that night will be the ones to get one more call.

So, there are 3 groups of sluts. 1. The sluts that I set up to meet that night. 2. The sluts that don’t want to meet till the next day. 3. The sluts whose answering machines come on.

There was this one guy, Andy said, who told me to be discreet when I called. Naturally, I wasn’t going to be. So when I called, a machine picked up and I said, “Hey, this is Shauna! Got your number from the sex line…” 

Then the fucker picked up the phone but didn’t say anything. Andy had hung up a second after he picked up. Obviously, the guy was terrified of the wife hearing me and she probably did. I mean what the hell kind of married person would leave their number and expect someone to be discreet? How stupid! I mean, if you want to be discreet, you don’t leave your home phone number.

Since leaving the message, I’ve gotten about 30 responses so far. Imagine getting that many responses when I’d leave messages to women for real back east? Not a chance in hell! Especially back when I wanted a relationship and especially when I let them know I was feminine and short. If I were a butch looking for just fun, or seeking butches, I’d have gotten more calls. I sure did get lots of calls from couples. Guys are sooooo easy. Anyway, when I’d get machines with names of people I’ve known or still do, I’d refer to them as that person. I asked Bob how prison was and told Steve I missed him and that he was a great neighbor back on Woodside Terrace.

In an hour and a half, I’ll be waking Tom up. I’m surprised he didn’t cum over the weekend, regardless of his tooth, since it’s virtually impossible for a woman to conceive at this time. Maybe my suspicions about him are dead wrong and I sure as hell hope so. Time will tell, though. We’ll just have to wait and see how many mid-cycles he’ll be tired or hurt during. Maybe he doesn’t want to tease me and drag this out. Maybe he really does want one like yesterday, and maybe he’s 100% ready, too. We’ll see, like I said, but I still don’t know how he’s gonna be towards me on my birthday. That’ll have to wait to be seen, too. Meanwhile, I still don’t want to hope. Being a dreamer is one thing and I’ve been that all my life, but I don’t want to go getting hopeful. I don’t think I could do that even if I found out I was pregnant, as happy as I’d be, cuz I’d be afraid of losing it. The idea of me finding out I was pregnant, seems too good to be true.

Anyway, I don’t see how I could end up getting my hopes up, since I haven’t had any reason to yet. Just that brief time during that damn spotting episode.

Later...

Now I know why Tom seemed anxious for me to use the computer. He kept telling me to let him know when I needed to use the computer. He and his obsession with me rearranging stuff back into place after him. My world had had many changes to it when I logged in. I’ll mention this to him, but he’ll probably just look at me all confused and say he’s not sure what could’ve caused it.

The freeloader came in at 7 PM at not a very loud volume, but not a reasonable one, either. I wish Tom wasn’t so worried about people’s potential reactions. If I could just go over there one more time, we’d never hear the music again, but I made the damn promise.

He was gone for a while and I find it a hell of a coincidence that he’s come back when I start calling this meeting line (as if God’s punishing me for playing with people’s heads). Hopefully, if I stop doing that, he’ll go away more often or shut up.

Andy called from work to ask if we could record a documentary about animals attacking people, so I did. Then I left him a message letting him know I taped it and why I wanted to give calling the phone line a break for a while. You know me, most anyone else can get away with murder practically and even be rewarded for it, but I get punished just for sneezing. On the other hand, if God can give kids to murderers and not people like Tom and I and punish me for nothing, then maybe it doesn’t matter what I do. A curse is a curse and I believe that if something wants to punish you for nothing, then doing something like playing with people’s heads, can’t make the situation much worse. Still, I’ll give it a break for a while, see what happens, then decide what to do.

I have weird PMS news, but I’ll get into it later.