We just had sex and as I knew would be the case, only I got off. He was exhausted as I knew he’d be, but I still admire his persistence, regardless of how much of this is a joke. I reminded him that I offered to screw this morning and he said he was exhausted this morning, too. He still wants to keep going with this and he says, “I want to screw for 20 more days, 6 months, and 6 years. Then we’ll take 2 days off.”

Whatever, but it is fun, even if it’ll never produce a baby. I think the point he’s trying to make is that we can’t make a kid by trying, and maybe he figures that if he shows me this, I’ll get off his case.

I was on the phone earlier with Andy and Michelle and they’re gonna call me back soon.

I guess I didn’t mention my talk with Tammy, Bill, and the girls yet. Well, I talked to them all at 7:00 their time last night and she said it was 30° at the time! Bill also got on the phone to say hello to me. I couldn’t believe it as I’m not his favorite type of person. We were all teasing each other. Bill says Tammy beat him up into talking to me. Bill also said he wasn’t feeling too well and I let him and Tammy know that as long as Bill has her for a wife, he’ll never feel too well. It’s chats like this that make up for Tammy’s bullshit. Anyway, they’re all hanging in there. That’s all they can really do.

Later...

I talked to both Andy and Michelle earlier. It was a fun chat and I typed Michelle a 2-page wacky letter, since she’s into stuff like that, too.

I’ve been thinking and it’s getting me bummed out. Sometimes I’d just rather not face reality and now’s one of those times.

Remember that note I said I left last month telling Tom I’d be getting pregnant in November? Well, another reason why he could do this is to try to cover for how I’ve said and written that since I said that, he’ll veer the other way and make sure I’m wrong. I don’t know, though. He’s never veered the other way and proven me wrong when I’ve said I couldn’t ever conceive.

If only he could be at least 10 years younger during sex and like a typical male so he could get off more often. If I were OK and if God changed his mind, we have a much higher chance of hitting it right as far as the timing goes than we do of that and his getting off. We can hit the timing right all we want, but if he doesn’t cum, it doesn’t do us any good.

If only I could make myself detest the idea of a kid right now, now that I’m approaching mid-cycle. It’s when you don’t want to get pregnant that you do get pregnant. I don’t know, though, if that rule applies to me. I didn’t want to with Ron and I didn’t. I guess Murphy’s law doesn’t always apply to me and that God’s not totally unfair cuz there’s been several things that I didn’t want and that didn’t mean I got them just cuz I didn’t want them. It’s not that I have to worry about getting stuff I don’t want. It’s the worry over not getting stuff I do want.