After taking a week to get back to me, even though she could’ve done so sooner, I heard from Nane. Unlike Tammy and Andy, who describe Rachel as being “gross” and “scary,” Nane likes her. I’m proud of myself, though, for not getting back to her right away. I probably won’t wait a whole week, but still, no more getting back to her ASAP while she takes her sweet time with me. If I’m not important to her, she’s not important to me. 

The pussy cream the doctor gave me has eased a lot of the burning and itching. 

Feeling the absolute best and most like my old self since last month! I don’t even have a hint of anxiety and I even rode my bike a mile. :) 

Last night I felt a little restless as I was waiting to fall asleep but was determined not to take a chill pill. Besides, as I reminded myself, it wouldn’t knock me out. They didn’t knock me out during the daytime, so they certainly wouldn’t knock me out at night. 

“Things take time to get over,” Tom told me, assuring me the anxiety would one day be a thing of the past. 

As I lay there, I realized I was aware of my heart racing and got up to check it. It was at 107. As I stood there with my finger in the monitor, I watched it drop into the 90s, got back into bed, and felt fine. Eventually, I drifted off, hoping I’d sleep forever since I wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of dealing with whatever tomorrow may bring. 

But I slept my usual 8 hours and woke up fine. No racy heart, no nothing. By then it was after 6am and Tom had left for work. I even had a positive money dream for once, but don’t remember the details. It seemed to have to do with something we were selling that would be an ongoing thing. Not sure if I said this in the form of a question or a fact, but I said something to Tom about being anywhere from very comfortable to rich, and he agreed in a very matter-of-fact way. 

A couple of hours later came the big question – should I go out on my bike, should I go out walking, or should I stay inside on the boring treadmill? I had to do something because I didn’t want to fall out of shape, so deciding I couldn’t stay afraid of exercise and riding forever, I took the bike out. My heart rate elevated only in the good way that it’s supposed to when you work out. I don’t like to do just cardio, I like to strength train too, so later or tomorrow some arm and ab work is in order. Being fit is more important to me than whether or not the numbers on the scale and the inches around my waist go down or not. 

My only complaint now is a slight ache in my chest that didn’t last long. But now I have a stronger ache on the same side only it’s in back where my left shoulder blade is. I took an ibuprofen, so if it’s the pulled muscle I suspect it is, it will go away soon. 

Next door has already been out twice and the last time I heard them loading stuff up in the SUV. They’re not done yet since the thing isn’t parked in the garage. Wish they would slow down!