God, I’m a real idiot! I decided to delete my group on Facebook. The way to do that is to delete your members and then yourself. Like an idiot, though, I deleted myself first. I contacted Facebook about it, but I don’t expect to hear from them. It wouldn’t hurt anything if it just sat there, so it’s not that big a deal. 

Tom and I talked about the communicating through pictures thing. He is the ONLY one who knows about it and understands that it’s a psychic thing and not an imaginary friend thing or voices in my head. 

Today is Tammy and Mark’s anniversary. Unfortunately for them, they can only wish each other a happy anniversary by phone. 

Really worried for Tammy at this point. Her breathing test didn’t go well. She said something about how a nebulizer usually helps her improve, but this time it didn’t. I guess there is a lot of inflammation in her lungs and her immune system is shot, too. They feel it’s too risky to do anything to boost her immune system. She had a UT infection and instead of taking the week it normally takes to kill that off, it took her a month. In her words, she said she’d know more on Friday but right now it “doesn’t look good.” 

But does “it doesn’t look good” mean she’ll get worse? Or just that she won’t get better? 

Later… 

Went to Walgreens earlier just for fun and decided to try Sally Hansen’s Miracle Gel nail polish that doesn’t require any kind of UV light, so I got a kit that comes with polish plus the top coat. I also grabbed a single bottle, so I’ve got Tidal Wave, which is like a royal blue, and Game of Chromes, a shiny gold. 

Only problem is I can’t try it out now because I don’t have any nail polish remover to remove my old polish with. Tom’s going to Walmart in a few hours. I’ll probably be too tired to do them then, so I’ll wait till tomorrow. Some of the reviews I read suggest it would probably be best if I did it during the daytime and could stick my hand out in the sunlight to help it dry faster. 

We also grabbed some pistachio nuts and caramel truffles, and he got a new dry-erase board to use for programming notes. 

Later… 

Had a great day yesterday that didn’t end quite as well. My heart raced out a bit in the end as I was trying to sleep after being up 18 hours (112). It wasn’t scary but it was annoying. I had to take a chill pill to relax enough to sleep. *sighs* I feel like the old me (minus the unmedicated effects of the thyroid disease) is gone forever. Tom keeps saying I’ll adapt. He doesn’t know when, but I will go longer and longer between chill pills as I get used to the thyroid bringing back my original “old self,” as funny as that may sound. The one who was naturally anxious but had learned to deal with it. 

I think yesterday’s racy heart and trouble sleeping was more the junk food that I had too far into the end of my day than actual anxiety. I realize now that hoarding too much sugar when you’re naturally wound up and on a drug that’s boosting your metabolism, isn’t a very wise idea. I don’t have to throw away all my weekend snacks, but I should definitely have fewer treats. Having 5 rich truffles, then some nuts, and then trying one of the brownies Tom got, was a bit overkill. If it weren’t for the meds I’d be up a pound. Didn’t ride yesterday so I definitely want to try to get in a ride tonight. 

Tom also thinks I'm "psychically acting" like change is coming, saying I'm able to sense change before it comes and then I get all antsy over it, not knowing if it's to be good or not. Well, if any of this is on account of upcoming change, I hope it's good!‎ 

Based on my typical time frames for sensing the unknown when it comes to change affecting us, we'd probably have found out this week if that really was the case. A win notice for me? A raise for him? Both seem doubtful right now, though I did have that dream of winning a trip, which could be a good sign.