Slept well and didn’t wake up with a racing heart. Haven’t taken the levothyroxine since early on the morning of the 23rd and have been better since yesterday afternoon after taking a chill pill. 

I’m not 100% sure the levothyroxine was responsible for how horrible I’ve felt these last couple of months, but I’m getting closer. All I know is that the less I take of it, the better I feel. We don’t want to rule out the statins completely, though it’s highly unlikely they’re the culprit after 6 months on the same dosage. However, why it took two months after being raised from 50 to 75mcg of levothyroxine now makes sense based on the research Tom did last night. It takes that long for each new dose to work full force. I thought it took a few days to a week for the levothyroxine to leave the body, but it actually takes 2-4 months. 

Those who have had their thyroid removed aren’t in danger until 2-4 months after stopping the levothyroxine, so one lousy week isn’t going to kill me. I’m not taking the stuff at all. Then come Wednesday or Thursday I’ll take the statins again and see what happens. Even my sister, who worked in nursing, thinks my levothyroxine dose is too high for my body. 

At this point, knowing myself and my body as well as I do, I just don’t see how what I was feeling was any kind of psychological reaction any more than I think it was anxiety that wasn’t connected to the meds at all. But why didn’t the doctor see this?! I know doctors are only human, but still. If I wasn’t half this anxious when things were at their worst in my life, why would I be this way when they’re going great, no matter how much my subconscious may be conditioned to think I don’t deserve good things after so many years of suffering? I realize the doctor doesn’t know my life story either. Either way, I do like this doctor a lot. She’s not just a hottie, but she’s very nice and doesn’t make you feel like just another number like my Endo did, and so I’m hoping she’ll be willing to work with us (yes, I’m taking Tom in for extra support next time I see her which he’s fine with, and that way I don’t forget to relay anything to him), but if not we’ll get another doctor. 

I continue to be a bit forgetful that I can’t even remember my dreams. The only one I remember from last night is seeing my dentist. Only she was a GYN and not a dentist. My hair and even my eyebrows are thinning big time and I’m still losing weight. These things are nothing, though, compared to how awful I felt. I’d rather be fat, ugly, old, dumb and poor yet healthy than to have it all while I felt like shit. I may have my anxious moments in life, but not to such a severe degree that I feel like I’m either going to die or end up in the hospital. I knew something was wrong. Never has there been a medication I’ve taken in my life with such horrible side effects. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to take a lower dose or something else entirely without worrying, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.