Once again, quite thanks to my 80-something neighbors who have more energy than your average 20-year-old, I am in the laundry room to escape whatever the hell it is they've been doing in that garage of theirs. I just can't figure it out. There doesn't seem to be enough stuff in there to organize in the first place. It's a single-car garage, so it's not very big. They can't be renovating it to use as another room since it's not climate controlled, and I doubt they'd want to always have to keep their vehicle in the carport, but this is really getting old. They have a right to do whatever it is they're doing, but I have a right not to hear it, don't I? She asks me if I can hear them doing their laundry at 6am, then gets noisier??? I don't get it. 

I just worry they're going to start waking me up as I sleep later. If I keep hearing a lot of movement over there for another week or two, I'm sure they won't mind my asking what's up. That way I can get a sense of what's going on and if it's to be a regular thing. I just hope he's not getting into some kind of woodworking project, cuz that's likely to be an ongoing thing if he's going to try to sell whatever it is he makes or something like that. I did hear something running while in the master shower and then some hammering from the laundry room, though I do admit that could've been from anywhere. 

The rooms that face their place are the master bed and bath, the kitchen, and part of the living room. The kitchen, living and dining area are all one big huge area with the only "divider" being the bookcase and counter. 

Later… 

Had to take a chill pill last night not so much for anxiety but because I couldn't sleep. I took it just after midnight. I like this stuff way better than Benadryl and Melatonin. Benadryl dries my mouth and Melatonin breaks up my sleep for an hour or so and can give me a headache. The lorazepam doesn't make me sleep forever either and awake feeling rested rather than groggy. 

Yesterday my ear/jaw started acting up and I took an ibuprofen. Figures I couldn’t go a whole fucking day without something, huh? Today I’m fine, though, save for a slight lump-in-the-throat sensation that could be anything. My thyroid couldn’t enlarge itself in just 6 months, and would push outward and not against my trachea anyway. 

While I may feel ok, my mind still races with worries. How in the world can I ever get myself to just live in the moment? There is so much to enjoy in the present – big things, little things – but I’ll never be able to fully enjoy them as long as I’m worrying… will these doctors really be willing to work with me? Or will we have to start the whole pain-in-the-ass process all over again to find someone who will? I have more confidence in my PCP than in my endo specialist. My endo doc seems to not only lack compassion but she made it seem like my only alternative would be very hard to regulate. So I think that if anyone’s going to be stubborn and put up resistance, it would be her. It’s a business same as any other and they quite often want to do what makes them the most money as opposed to what’s best for the patient. 

I just want to enjoy this upcoming 3-day weekend without worrying what health issues we may have now and which ones we may get later on down the road! For years it was anger issues, now it’s worry-wart issues. 

Later… 

I am sooo happy for my sister! The house has closed and her husband will be down to join her next week. Wish I could be there for the happy reunion! 

I chatted with Nane yesterday and had to laugh at the shitty weather she complains about. She’ll be heading somewhere into the sun soon enough, she told me, but doesn’t know where. 

Thanks to those who gave me the hair and toilet advice. :) One suggests draining the toilet bowls and soaking those stubborn water stain lines with white vinegar-soaked paper towels, and another suggests Damage Therapy Clear Hair & Scalp Therapy shampoo to help my thinning hair. She had chemo for a while and so she knows all about thinning hair. In my case, it’s caused by the hypothyroidism. The meds can add to it, too. Since we plan on replacing both these old shitters, though, I think I’ll let the water stains live on. I’ll remember it for when the new ones get build-up. 

I was working on my story when it hit me - an earthquake takes place in the story… and then one wakes me up for real. Weird. Real weird. And it’s not the first time life has imitated my creative works either. 

Last night I was reading about palm reading for the first time in a while, and following the illustrations and what they could possibly mean. I guess a long lifeline doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll live a long life. I asked Andy if he believed in palm reading. He saw one in 1991 after moving to Arizona and the palm reader told him I'd move there within 1 year. Well, I moved there June 9, 1992 and didn’t know I’d be going there till a week or two before I actually made the move. 

I’m not sure that I believe in this any more than I believe in gods, ghosts and angels. At least not without some serious direct experience or some scientific evidence to back it up. Besides, even if I knew for sure there was a God, I still say it’s mostly an unfair and cruel one given all the atrocities and tragedies that occur in life. 

I’m reading a really good book now called Fractured Persona where this guy in California gets in a car accident and goes into a coma. He awakens in some other guy’s body in North Carolina and is told his wife (who’s not really his wife) actually beat him unconscious. So now he’s got to go along with it so he doesn’t get thrown in the loony bin.