Tomorrow, which is just about to arrive in the east, Tammy will be Tom’s age. 

For those of you who have asked, yes, I’m doing ok now anxiety-wise. I want to thank those that have prayed for me since this shit started over a month ago, but as always, I was on my own to work through it, and any support I did get came from those that walk on two legs and a bottle of pills. Don’t know if it’s because there is no God or at least one that doesn’t give a shit, but it was/is up to me to get through these things with the love of my good friends and family. But hey, I did survive and I will keep on surviving, and I do appreciate those who thought of me. :) 

Looking at it from a logical standpoint (or at least what I personally consider logical), when you consider the fact that no God seems to give a shit about those suffering and dying from Ebola, or about the kidnapped females in Iraq, it only makes sense that none would give a shit about me. Like what would make me so special, right? That’s ok, though, for my husband’s love is what’s most important to me. Tangible beings that I can see, hug, touch and feel, along with those I can only communicate with online 

I know that in today’s time, a white person who says even the slightest negative thing about the behavior of blacks is automatically presumed racist, but I don’t care. I’m not going to let popular opinion/belief stifle me from expressing myself in my own journal because I know what I really am and am not and that’s good enough for me. 

I still don’t know all the particulars and while it’s sad that the black boy was shot and killed in Ferguson, it really irritates me that these incidents are always automatically labeled as racist or hate-based. Yeah, there are a lot of corrupt, trigger-happy cops out there who are high on power and have their various prejudices. Sometimes they can be worse than the civilians. No doubt about that. I’ve known this for years and haven’t been the least bit afraid to express my feelings towards cops in general. But racism makes no sense in this case. If it were all about killing innocent blacks just because they’re black the numbers would be much higher. They wouldn’t kill just one, but more like one a week or at least one a month until they were fired. In addition, how the hell can the cops always know if someone’s armed or not? If what little I heard is true, the kid gave the cops every reason to believe he was armed and dangerous. Can’t expect the cops to just stand there in cases like that. 

Meanwhile, rioting every time something bad happens is never a solution. It only makes you look bad. It’s ok to be angry, but violence isn’t the way to solve problems like a few groups of people seem to think it is. 

I’ll bet the cop that shot that kid is shitting in his pants at the thought of his name being released if it hasn’t been already. These days you just don’t shoot blacks and get away with it, though you’re still perfectly able to shoot all the whites you want. That’s just society’s double standards for you, only those “standards” have shifted over the years. A black person can make all the racist jokes they want at work with no repercussions whatsoever, but if a white coworker dares open their mouth, out the door they go.