On with my last entry for the year. A year that was shitty for the world in general but ended up working out well for us.

I figured that if we’re going to have to wear a mask for a while longer, I might as well do it in style. So I ordered a light pink mask with rhinestones and a multicolored sequin mask.

Just finished a suspense book by Cole Baxter about a crazy old lady. Now I’m reading a kidnapping mystery by Gillian Jackson.

I guess this is going to be it for the year because there really isn’t anything else to update on.

As our upcoming move gets closer, I get a little more emotional. In a good way, of course. I started packing up some more shit but most of what’s left has to wait until the very end since we still have to live our lives while we’re here.

Soon enough we’ll be one of those annoying planes flying over this place. They’ve been an on-and-off thing as usual. For three days they were annoying as fuck but I haven’t heard them today. Just some small planes.

We talked some more and we’re very likely to start off in the middle of the state where the space rent is cheaper. The place will probably be kind of dumpy and might not even have a pool but this way we have a chance to get grounded, get a feel for the place, how the climate affects me, and then decide whether or not to head for the coast or get some land. It would be nice to have another park to compare this one to even though I’m guessing some things will be the same such as loud vehicles and power tools. Hopefully, we won’t hear it as much if we can get into a smaller park on a less-traveled street.

My chocolate chip cookie incense smells great. It’s mild but definitely great smelling.

My book was not pirated. I forgot that when I joined Smashwords nearly a decade ago they were affiliated with Scribd. I also forgot that I had two different Smashwords accounts. I was confused as hell when I logged into one of the accounts and found that nothing was published there. I had Renting Ginny published for a while but removed it because I barely made a few bucks after a long time. Turns out the account Evil was on was under an email address I no longer have. But I finally got ahold of someone on both sites and someone on Smashwords told me they contacted Scribd with a removal request. So hopefully they will honor that request! If not, then I guess the story will just sit there.

I’m glad I used my middle name when I made the mistake of publishing stuff since I don’t think most people would think to Google me with my middle name included. When I Google my first and last name, nothing comes up. It’s only when I Google my full name that links to Goodreads and anything connected to my book comes up. I’m going to put myself on as much of an “internet lockdown” as I can during the move in case anyone we may get a place from decides to Google me and might not like what they find. I don’t know what might come up with a paid search but I wouldn’t think anybody would be that curious so I’m not worried about it.

It just occurred to me that I didn’t hear from Scribd yesterday. It could be due to the holidays, but I really doubt I’m going to hear back from them. The question is whether or not to take some other course of action or just let it go. I’ll probably just let it go since whoever/whatever is behind it can’t be making any more money than I did and that certainly wasn’t much. It’s just that it reminds me of how I’ve always felt that I’m not only not meant to make money but meant to be a profit to others. Oh well. Still can’t be much of a profit. If it isn’t a screw-up between sites and if it isn’t a random person, funny how the black bitch in Arizona is the first person to come to mind where that’s concerned. But would she be that sophisticated enough to pull it off? Would she be that stupid? Perhaps out of anger and the frustration of not being able to legally screw me again like she tried to do 9 years ago, she would. Don’t know if she would have come up with the idea on her own or set it up on her own, though, if she did have anything to do with it. But I’m sure she would get a real kick out of the thought of making whatever she could off of me at my expense.

I read online that applying ACV to AKs was recommended so I’m trying it on what I suspect is Bowen’s. Doubt it will do me any good, but it can’t hurt to try.

I was going to work on all three stories at once and then edit them when I was out of ideas but that’s easier said than done so I’ll finish the story I started last month before I tackle the others.

Guess I’ve gone from writing suspense that deals with obsession to suspense that deals with revenge! Let’s just say it can be kind of therapeutic depending on who the characters are. :-)

Some of them have been showing up in my dreams, like Termite Tammy. I killed her by kicking her really hard in the head only her blood ran dirt brown instead of red. I panicked soon afterward, realizing my fingerprints and other trace evidence would likely be found.

I left a message on Ruth’s wall yesterday. As in Marty’s wife. Her last update was in 2018 and I realize she could be dead since she would be in her 80s now. I looked and couldn’t find a grave or an obit on Marty, so if there isn’t one on him, there may not be one on her. Right or wrong, I acted as if she messaged me trying to apologize and work things out and I told her she had decades to do that, gossips too much, judges people by their past, was too judgmental, and that while I wish her the best it was too late.

I guess it was a convenient way to express how I felt albeit a bit of a dishonest one. I’m curious to see if anyone ever discovers it but I have a feeling they won’t. I guess the account has been abandoned. But maybe not. There are no visible posts between 2015 and 2018. So maybe she’s just taking a little hiatus.

When I got up, I found a message waiting for me from Becky. She decided to look for Mary Bernadette S from Valleyhead who went by Bernadette. She found the nearly 6 ft black woman in the form of an obituary from 2016. She died at age 48 and Becky is devastated. I guess they were closer than I realized. Bernadette and I weren’t close although we were enemies either.

So she died just in time to spare herself from the hell called perimenopause. But WHY??? I hate that most obits don’t tell you how a person died.

The Termite Tammy dream wasn’t the only dream I had last night. It seems that many people from my past came marching in one by one. Lots of Andy dreams lately, although I’m not sure why. I do miss him at times, but I could never resume our friendship. He is who he is, and I am who I am. Besides, it’s become a hard rule of mine not to do do-overs. You step out of my life or I put you out of it, you stay out of it.

Anyway, I don’t remember what he, Nane or Maliheh did in my dreams but I remember Molly even though it didn’t make much sense. She pointed to a bright orange-pink fleece blanket and said, “Isn’t that your blanket?”

I glanced over to where she was pointing and I was relieved to see that it was. I guess I lost some things or was worried someone had stolen them. I also had a feeling that Molly was hiding something and not being totally honest with me, but just like in real life, I kept my suspicions to myself preferring not to let people know that I know, am aware of, and notice more things than they realize.

Next, I offered her some old dolls I didn’t want, hoping she would take them off my hands. She did and I hugged her more because I was grateful for her making things easier on me than anything else. Her shoulders felt slender as we embraced.

Then there was something about me being chased by a dog, threatening its owner, and someone who was universally hated winning tons of money. Then Tom and I were seated at a long dining table with about a dozen other people in the room. He surprised me by defending me to them, saying that the person who won money was accused of doing the same thing I had to spend 24 hours in jail for.

“I had to spend a lot more than that,” I snorted.

Sometimes I feel just as pissed or at least irritated with myself as I do with those that have given me a hard time in one way or another throughout my life. I just feel like I could have done more to prevent it, like I should have seen the warning signs, not been so nice… That sort of thing. So it’s like I blame them for screwing me and then I blame myself for how I handled them. But what’s done is done and oh how I have learned from it!

Once again Aly is saying that I, perhaps unknowingly or unintentionally, make her feel put in the middle when I bring up Kim or Molly and that’s why she’s been holding back on things she could tell me about them. Expressing my opinion doesn’t mean I’m trying to put anyone in the middle or persuade someone to go in a particular direction, but fine. She never has to discuss anything she doesn’t want to.

But how does she think I feel over the fact that she won’t give me her address, I’ve never seen a picture of her with Cam, and I don’t even know the guy’s last name? It’s hard for me to believe this is simply about her having doubts as to whether or not the relationship will last. She’s hiding something. She’s either afraid I’ll use the info against her somehow should I get pissed at her or Cam doesn’t exist.

I’m starting to feel like she’s complaining about me a little more lately and like I’m just not good enough in some ways even though she recently told me she always values our friendship. But first it was what I said in regard to Cam losing his cat, then she tweeted on her other account that I butt in unnecessarily, and a few other little things that are starting to add up and get to me. Is she trying to pick a fight with me or something? Well, I don’t “fight” anymore. I either get along with people or I don’t have anything to do with them. The only ones that will eventually hear from me one last time are the termites. I mean, of course I would contact more than just them if Tom died suddenly and unexpectedly and I was about to kill myself but I don’t bother to troll or fight with people like I used to.

Anyway, I told her she never has to bring up anything she doesn’t want to even though I would never insist she hold back on anything and I won’t bring up as much either. The less open someone is with me, the less I’m open with them. Not by design but I naturally can’t help but be more open if someone’s open with me and less open if someone’s not so open with me. It’s just how I am and a natural instinct of mine. In the end, Kim and Molly (I know she’s not done with Molly forever) are her friends so it’s not like I’m dying to hear about them.

I discovered something by accident as is how I usually find things be it objects or information. While I still think the smaller spot on my leg is the actinic keratosis (AK) I had on my arm and back, the big red patch may very well be Bowen’s disease. The good news is that even though it’s considered pre-invasive it seems just as treatable as AK and just as unlikely to invade deeper tissues of the skin and spread to other parts of the body. Doesn’t seem like anything that can’t wait until my April appointment. I just hope she can spray it with liquid nitrogen as she did with the AKs. Sometimes they have to scrape the skin.

I missed my wine after taking a break from it and just wanted to get out and also get a sweet treat, so we masked up and headed to Rite Aid yesterday morning. Armed with Moscato and a Milky Way bar, Tom suggested checking out the Christmas aisle before we left where everything was on clearance, and we found a couple of cute things for just $2.50 each. A color-changing glitter lamp that sort of reminds one of a lava lamp. The glitter is in a watery gel so that it stays afloat longer when you shake it.

Also got a cute doll called Emily with auburn braids and brown eyes. She wears pink and purple, my favorite colors.

The Mac was sluggish and I was having trouble clicking and dragging puzzle pieces during my puzzle walks, as I call them, so he upgraded it to Big Sur.

As we agree, zone minutes are more important than step counts and active minutes so I’m making sure to get those. That’s usually simple enough as long as I’m not tired. In fact, I usually get more than the daily recommendation.

As funny as this may sound, the quantity of my food intake seems to matter more than calories or what I eat. I rarely bother to count calories but I definitely pay attention to what I eat now that I’m getting older and make sure that 5-6 days a week I eat healthily. But it’s true that quantity really does seem to matter most for me. I think I would be more likely to gain weight on larger servings of fish and veggies than I would on just a few bites of high-calorie crap.

As 2021 approaches, we chatted excitedly about the possibilities that await us next year like how we’re going to go out of here and a big part of it is going to depend on who the house goes to. If we knew in advance exactly when we had to be out of here, it would be easier to get plane tickets and also control where we sit on the plane. But if we have to go about things the traditional way and deal with the escrow and not know exactly what’s closing when and what we need to sign when until the last minute, then it might be too expensive to fly since we couldn’t get the tickets in advance.

Time will tell if my vibes and dreams mean anything but despite having a pretty good accuracy rate, I have to assume they’re just dreams and guesses until and if I see otherwise.

I doubt the dream I had last night meant anything since I would never want to live on a beach. Close to a body of water, yes, but not on the beach. Yet in the dream, we had a circular bedroom that was mostly surrounded by a popular beach and I wondered how I would sleep during the winter when all the snowbirds crowded the beach right outside the wall of the bedroom. I then remembered our soundproofing plans and hoped they would work out!

The only other dream I remember was going to a male doctor that turned out to be a joke for some reason. So I went back to a doctor I was familiar with who told me my OH was causing my eyes to bulge at the sides and a little in front too. I asked her if my eyes could possibly pop out of my head and she had this dubious expression as if to say that yeah, they could. LOL

Only I could gain a pound on a diet but then again I didn’t exactly “diet” yesterday. I had a little more than usual plus a candy bar. Also, I crashed early and got up earlier than yesterday. Nothing I didn’t expect to happen, though. I knew my body would go into reset mode no matter what I did. Besides, if this was that easy, everyone would be doing it. It takes a lot of hunger and deprivation to lose weight which is why most people don’t. But I’m going to continue eating three full meals a day because it agrees with my tummy and keeps me from getting carried away. Been having a bit more processed stuff than I should too, so I’ll have to cut that back a bit. Really don’t want to have more than one processed meal a day.

Tom checked out the site with the funny name and took a look at the code behind it. It isn’t that they have an actual copy of my book but it’s used as bait along with many other things. It’s a phishing site. All they want is credit card info. They promise full access to various things if you pay a fee.

On Scribd, he found where I could file a copyright infringement complaint, so I did. I doubt it’s anyone I know and may not even be a person at all. I once had this book on Smashwords and there might have been a screw-up between the different sites. Because the cover is the original cover and the bio is old, whatever it is happened nearly a decade ago. I don’t know many people with the sophistication to pull something like this off other than Aly and I can’t believe she would do this to anyone no matter how pissed she may be at them. It just doesn’t seem her style. The termites, yes, if they had brains enough to pull it off which they don’t.

I’ve learned my lesson as far as publishing anything goes. If I could have made at least 10 bucks a day, it would have been worth whatever shit came of it but it’s not all bad because this way I can have fun writing just for me and not have to worry about using real names and changing this and changing that.

The other day, as I was lying in bed waiting for sleep, Shadow popped into mind again and I was racked with a sense of guilt and sadness over having to dump him as I did 28 years ago. I asked myself why the hell Andy and I weren’t smart enough to think of a shelter but then no-kill shelters didn’t exactly exist back then. But then maybe it would have been better to be put to sleep if he was only destined to get hit by a car or something like that. Technically, this would probably be a better way for any animal or human to go as opposed to dying of natural causes but we could never and would never bring the pigs to a kill shelter.

I’ve always wondered what became of him. I read that cats lose heat through their paws and can handle heat better than cold as long as they have shade, food and water. He could have gotten the shade somewhere but where would he have gotten food and water? He would have had to drink out of people’s pools and while they were plentiful, so were big dogs that were always left outside.

But still, I wonder. Did Animal Control pick him up and kill him? Did he get hit by a car? Did he get fed by various people every now and then? Or did someone adopt him? I really hope to hell the last possibility happened! I was reading back in my 1992 journal, and I forgot that we didn’t just drop him off in Paradise Valley but also threw his carrier over the wall of someone’s backyard that we thought may have been Stevie Nicks’ at the time. Don’t know if it really was or not, though.

Even though I was young, dumb, broke, naive and threatened with eviction if I didn’t get rid of Shadow and was just doing what I needed to survive, I felt heartbroken and I could definitely throttle Stacey. I know she was sticking to the rules she had to abide by but still, rules can be bent. You don’t have to break them but you could bend them and she definitely could have worked with me somehow to get into a “pet” apartment and pay the deposit. I also wish I’d been smart enough back then to think of contacting her boss.

Tom says there was nothing I could do about it, I can’t undo the past, so I shouldn’t beat myself up for it and that more than likely he was adopted. If not, people do feed strays. We’ve done it ourselves.

But I also realized that had I been able to keep him, he likely would have lived past 1997 when I quit smoking and I would be left to wonder why I never got better since I didn’t know that cats made me wheeze and congested until we got Simone.

I have hoped that there really is no such thing as an afterlife because a before life is enough. For a minute, though, I almost wished there was so I could tell him how sorry I am for being such a shit of a cat mommy as I was during his first two years of life. Yes, he could be plenty obnoxious at times but he was otherwise quite affectionate and lovable, and yet I treated him like shit at times and then dumped him like he was trash.

I hope to hell that when he was dying which was probably somewhere between 2005-2010 that the giant orange tabby I adored was put to sleep and didn’t die outdoors alone.

Speaking of that bitch Stacey, another story idea came to mind. Tom and I move but we return to Arizona of all places. And of all the millions of people living in Phoenix, we happen to end up next to Stacey and her husband. I spot her one day and recognize her so Tom and I agree I would go by a different first name and say I was from Ohio.

I get a piece of her mail one day and am curious to see if she recognizes me when I go to return it. She does but of course I always deny my true identity. Then I can play these little games with her until one day she actually invites me over for coffee and I pass out only to wake up realizing she drugged me and has locked me in a room. I’m held captive there while she tries to force the truth out of me. Eventually, Tom will come to my rescue!

So between the story I’ve been working on, this idea, and the revenge on the termite idea, I guess I’m not completely retired as a writer after all. For a while there I thought I would never come up with anything worth putting into print ever again.

Oh yes, the lady of suspense is going to have all kinds of unfiltered and uncensored fun using real names. I just hope we don’t get “karma’d” for our evil thoughts, haha.

Strange how I once couldn’t help but have a slight crush on Stacey even though she was a blue-eyed blond. Something about her voice, physique and mannerisms reminded me of Kate Jackson. I once told her that too, LOL. I’d be a total liar if I said she didn’t age well but I hate her fucking guts.

I usually write one story at a time and will write a chapter and then edit it, but I think I’ll just work on the stories and then edit them when I hit writer’s block which I still think will be most of the time.

“Did something happen to the saw dude or did someone complain about him?” I asked Tom and he thinks neither and that he simply finished his home renovation project.

Well, I hope so because I’m definitely enjoying not hearing that fucking saw! In a lawless land, I would have gone over there, yanked it out of his hand, and chased him around the park with it.

“What happened to the loud car kid?” I also asked him and he thinks the kid outgrew that phase of his life.

That young and that fast? I don’t know about that one. I think he’s either dead, in jail, or more than likely moved out of the area.

Aly says Molly totally believes in her mind that she and I never had a problem. Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. The mentally ill are often delusional. Also, I remember how she used to act like she and Kathy were best buddies having only last spoken recently when in fact it had been months or maybe even years.

I wasn’t kidding when I recently told Aly that it was a nice breath of fresh air to have a friend who was younger and smarter instead of the other way around as it usually was with other friends I’ve had.

Never heard of a torrent site before and when she told me she suspects my book was pirated, it made sense when I thought about it. If they steal music and movies, why not books too? I contacted one of the sites it’s on which is affiliated with NaNoWriMo as well as NaNoWriMo itself. I highly doubt it will do me any good, but I explained the situation to them about me and publishing it about a year ago and never agreeing to sell on Scribd. Plus there’s another site with a weird name that I know of, but I can’t click on any of the tabs and I wasn’t about to click on the download button without knowing if that could trigger some kind of attack.

It’s kind of weird how the pirated copy has the original cover and bio. Had to join Scribd to try to contact them but both them and NaNoWriMo don’t make it easy to contact them. I tried on Facebook and they gave me the automated run around so I finally tweeted to them. Again, I don’t expect a response let alone removal of the book where I left a comment saying who I was and that the book was pirated. You couldn’t comment without a rating so of course I gave myself 5 stars, LOL.

There’s no price set on my book, I noticed. Guess you get full access to it (and other books) with a paid membership? Would love to know when it was listed and if it’s anyone I know, though I doubt it.

The good thing is that if I didn’t make shit from the book, I don’t see why they would. I guess it happens to big-name authors as well. Either way, I highly doubt I’m going to be able to get it removed. It’s not worth putting any more effort into fighting it than I already did since it’s not like they’re going to really profit from it.

I went and unpublished We’ll Meet Again Someday which I had under a pen name just in case the same thing happened to that book even though I haven’t made a single sale or download in many months from that book. So if there are any more of my books out there, at least they won’t make more than a few bucks here and there. Others can feel free to do as they wish, but publishing just isn’t worth it to me.

I was glad to hear that her BF is going to get the vaccine in a few weeks. I know they’ve wanted to target health workers and old people first.

She got her dad the massager I got that I recommended to her and he really likes it. It is a good one!

Tom and I have noticed that my waist appears thinner lately. This is due to increased strength training and aerobics-like exercise. My “crunch line” is also more visible. That groove that runs from the sternum almost down to the belly button.

What worries me a little is that the spots on my leg aren’t growing in size but the larger one is darkening on the edges and is slightly raised. I just hope waiting until April doesn’t turn out to be a dumb idea that causes a whole lot more money and headaches later on down the road, but I’m not going to go running to the doctor for every little thing either. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a few AKs on my scalp as well from what I can feel. Luckily, only 10% of them become cancerous.

I’m a little tired today because I was up forever like I sometimes am even though I managed to take care of the dishes and laundry and change Fuzzy’s cage. My God does that poor guy look horrible! I think he has more than one tumor too but with the way he acts and eats you would never know it so that’s good. Even if he didn’t have them, though, his days are still numbered because he’s now over two years old.

My poor little ratty. :( Looks like the tumor has caused ruptured blood vessels. Yet amazingly, he still has plenty of energy and the same old appetite. He doesn’t seem to be in the least bit of pain, fortunately. He can’t have too many more months to go, though. It’s sad but an inevitable course of nature at the same time.

I’m really frustrated, irritated and confused right now after getting a Google alert on my name. I got an alert for a site where a copy of Evil Amongst the Evergreens is supposedly available. Nothing was clickable on the site, though, and I’m sitting here trying to figure out why the hell a book I unpublished is listed there. I also don’t like how you can get a lengthy preview, and then if you sign up for a free trial, you can read all of it for free.

What’s the point of unpublishing something if people can still get copies on sites I never heard of much less published my book on, and with absolutely no payment to me?

I never should have published anything, especially in my own name. That was really stupid! Not only are you giving potential trolls the perfect opportunity to fuck with you, but I should have known it wouldn’t be enough money to make it worth it. Better to just write for fun and that way I don’t have to worry as much about being as correct as possible.

This is turning out to be the most doable diet I’ve done in centuries. Not going so low-calorie keeps me from always being hungry. Not going low-carb keeps me from craving variety. Not spacing out multiple smaller snacks and meals also keeps me from being hungry. But it being doable is part of why I won’t get under that typical low of about 155. I’d have to be sick, thyrotoxic, or half-starving to lose more than a few pounds. No thanks! I like the way I feel on this menu and the fact that I definitely don’t have to worry about gaining weight.

The holidays are really throwing things off and disrupting our routine. Holidays were fine when he was working because then he got to enjoy the time off. Now all they do is mess things up. At least they’re minor inconveniences but because Walmart was out of some things, particularly lettuce which the pigs are low on, we tried to arrange to pick up an order at Sam’s yesterday morning. However, the earliest we could do this would be Saturday. So then we tried Amazon’s Whole Foods and were told the same thing along with another Walmart order we placed. So both Amazon and Walmart will be delivered within a few hours of each other that day. Tom was surprised to find how much cheaper than Walmart many of the prices on Amazon were, expecting it to be much more expensive. So we thought we would go ahead and give them a try.

I was looking forward to trying Sam’s lobster naan but I don’t think we’re going to be ordering from them. Walmart doesn’t have it but Amazon has Spanakopita which I like. I just don’t want to get too carried away with processed foods. Just because I’m having three larger meals with absolutely nothing in between doesn’t mean I want to load up on too much unhealthy stuff. Still gotta watch the cholesterol and sodium.

Over the last few days, I went from 157.8 to 157.4 to 157.0, and then yesterday I was 156.6 just like I am today. This is about when my body starts rebelling against additional weight loss, too. One way it rebels is to stop shitting but I’m having potatoes today so that should help.

Decided that rather than focus on step count or active minutes, I’ll focus on getting the 22 zone minutes they recommend getting a day. Not hard for someone with a high HR.

The planes didn’t go as crazy as I expected them to yesterday. Still expecting the death count to jump quite a bit after Christmas. I can’t wait to get to January! By then Trump will be out of the picture, we should be getting closer to getting vaccinated, and it’s the year we get the fuck out of here!

Dixie forwarded me (and a few others) a joke. So she’s still alive. Sometimes I think of emailing her. I do miss her and I do think of her but I also have to think of myself as well. I don’t want to deal with her drama and moods and put myself at risk of getting sick. She’s still around more people than we are. Unless it’s someone living alone with agoraphobia, I doubt anybody is as isolated as we’ve been. I’ll definitely email her before we leave.

In looking around at things and mentally deciding what we’re likely to leave and likely to take, I realized that the platform with the attached headboard shelves my mattress is on is our longest-running piece of furniture. We got it in Oregon 15 or 16 years ago.

Aly says Molly will no doubt eventually find a way to contact her, even if it’s through someone on Fitbit.

Ah, but will she be smart enough to ignore her? I still believe that Aly has a tendency to gravitate toward the mentally ill as Mary G gravitated toward abusers.

I skipped yesterday’s meds as I mentioned before, and although I was better, I wasn’t 100%, so I was a little nervous about taking my meds today. I did, however, and I feel fine so far. Figured I wouldn’t make it to the end of the year without a problem, though.

At the beginning of my day today, I had that strange and disturbing feeling that could have been my heart A-fibbing, gas bubbles in my chest, or something else. I looked up the causes and found that they range from mild to severe. At least I didn’t feel like I was going to pass out or experience any other symptoms with it. I can see where it might be air bubbles since it did seem like it was something fluttering upward and reverberating in my throat. However, it was entirely different than heartburn or any kind of stomach or intestinal gas issues I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know what to think. I just hope it doesn’t make a regular habit of occurring, whatever it is.

It hit me that it’s silly to count calories independently of Fitbit. I can still have Fitbit do it. I just have to make sure that everything I eat during my day is logged on the same date. But I can still have it do the math for me. It isn’t just about calories but this way I can also see how much sodium and carbs I’m taking in as well.

I realize that with the exception of whatever we get for the house, we’ll probably be back to the days of being broke once we get to Florida because even though it’s cheaper there, we’re not going to have as much money. That’s okay, though. I don’t mind not having extra money as long as we’re still able to get the things we need. But I know he’ll want to work at least part-time to help with extras until he’s able to get full retirement and not just partial. Plus, I’ll get half of what he gets when I’m 65 even though that’s still worlds away.

Actually, Tom just told me not to panic over what I may read on Twitter or Facebook, saying that Trump is being crazy again and something about people being evicted and losing their Unemployment if he doesn’t sign a particular thing. He assured me that our retirement money is not only guaranteed for life, but he would also only work in the future for extras like if we wanted to go on a cruise. Also, our Unemployment is fine, so don’t worry about what I may read.

This is reassuring to know but I feel bad for those less fortunate than us. Only someone as rich as Trump would do such a thing, assuming everybody can afford to pay for their needs just because he can and has never known anything else. I almost wish all rich people could start off broke so they could know what it’s like and see that no, we’re not all the same. We can’t all make do with next to nothing.

It seems, however, we’re having the opposite luck than what we experienced when the economy went to hell. The collapse of the economy hurt us in just about every possible way that it could. We suffered big time and almost lost our lives because of it. However, the virus has seemed to actually help us. Oh, it wouldn’t be this way if he was under 62, though, that’s for sure! So if this shit had to happen in the first place, I’m definitely grateful for the timing. And that he was able to make so much money in his final working years, especially from the OT with the way it works in Cali. Making enough OT to live off of that alone is a big deal when it comes to retirement, but yeah, he was making around $30 an hour in the end there at certain times. Of course the new company owners would lay him off. That way they could turn around and hire someone at minimum wage. In the end, I sure as hell am glad they did lay him off because of the virus! Again, that was perfect timing and I had the opposite reaction when he broke the news to me than I had in 2011. Had he been just a little younger, we could have been really screwed. Same goes for if they hadn’t laid him off but just in a different way. But then I always did say that the noisier a place was, the harder it would be to lose. Well, Jesse and his mutts definitely weren’t this noisy. No place I ever lived was this noisy.

Either way, we’ve been spared from this latest world crisis. I don’t know if it’s because of any God, some other entity, or just because. I only know I’m grateful as hell.

Just went to get my Bing points and I wasn’t at all surprised to read a headline saying that despite pleas from health experts, people are ready to travel for the holidays and spread the virus so the daily deaths can become 5K instead of 3K. And of course I’ll be wide awake to listen to all the planes there will no doubt be flying overhead early this morning.

Tom said there were a lot of cars at Dahl’s place today. Everybody thinks they’re invincible.

One of the brands of nail stickers I got was Blulu and they kind of suck. They’re not sticky enough. Also, the pink plaid set looks more like flesh tone in person. So I took them off and applied a pinkish-red set with gold highlights by a better brand. They’re a little light and a little sheer but definitely have better sticking power.

Decided I’m not going to keep changing accounts every month on OD so I can keep writing there. It’s just not worth the hassle. When it comes to sharing, PB is enough.

Aly says she’s finally blocked Molly and is done with her because she’s gone Kim on her by being very selfish and bombarding her with tons of texts all about how miserable her life supposedly is. And this is after Molly deleted her on Fitbit. She says it’s hard to explain but she still has some compassion for Kim.

I would definitely rather associate with Kim than Molly any day. I remember when I was pretending to be someone else and connected with her on Twitter how she almost never responded to my tweets. It was only if I made the move first by responding to her tweets that she would talk to me. Molly is definitely very selfish and obsessive. Kim is obsessive too, though.

Once Molly realizes Aly’s done with her, I wonder if she’ll stalk her like it’s 2009 again. Or if she’ll try to seek me out to get to her through me. My guess is she won’t, though, because we don’t always react the same when something happens again. Besides, I don’t think she can find me anywhere other than looking me up on Facebook and that’s only if she remembers my last name.

I’m now tracking calories independently of Fitbit. Because my days are split so often, I’m not getting an accurate count. The same goes for steps. However, I’m not really concerned with steps as long as I get the recommended daily zone minutes each day. I’m keeping track in Google Docs and having Tom double-check my math.

So far it seems easier to have fewer bigger meals. I made vegetable tortellini yesterday and it came out great. I would really like to get an idea of my daily calorie intake at least for a week or two because I’m curious to see how, if at all, this new way of eating affects me. My guess is that it won’t cause weight loss but will make it harder to gain. It comes out to approximately 1,200 calories a day.

I noticed my metabolism has sped up a bit but that’s likely for the same reason I felt a little anxious last night; my meds are ramping up in my system. I skipped today and it will be interesting to see if taking action right away means I won’t have to skip as much later on. If I could get it down to one skip per month, that would be ideal. That may be just a dream, but we’ll see. But to have a total of a little over a month’s worth of anxious days for 2020 is a definite improvement!

Now I just wish he would stop looking for work! When he talked about the job applications he’s been filling out, I reminded him that they said he didn’t have to look for work for many weeks but he says he doesn’t trust them. Yeah, the government is definitely not very trustworthy, that’s for sure. But we have a lot of money and I hate to see him work before he’s vaccinated. I would be concerned if he was young but I’m even more concerned with him being 63. He doesn’t actually want a job right now but still thinks it’s best to at least put some effort into it. Besides, not everyone wants an older white guy working for them not to mention the fact that sometimes he’s either under or overqualified. Some jobs have requirements he’s unable to or unwilling to meet like traveling.

The pigs started to get a little smelly so we changed their liners. Rockefeller’s wasn’t that soiled but Blitz’s was. We’ll probably only be changing them about six more times before they’re rehomed and I definitely want to use up the paper bedding first. I would rather have liners left over than regular bedding.

Fuzzy sleeps more but still has energy and definitely his usual appetite. He could live another three or four months but one rat is a lot easier to deal with than two pigs.

I remember a split second of a dream where I was in someone’s oceanfront house and it was so cool because the part of the walls that face the ocean was all glass. Whenever the tide was high, the waves would roll up against the lower part of the glass walls and was totally cool.

They updated our DNA results on 23andMe, narrowing things down. They had him mapped as all over Europe, but they took off southern Europe for him even though he’s from many different places and is still a mutt, LOL. For me, they removed almost all of Europe. I’m 98.9% Ashkenazi instead of 99%. They had a fraction of a percent of me from Asia and Africa which has now been narrowed down to Manchurian & Mongolian. Never heard of Manchurian before.

Going to once again try Fitbit’s easier diet where you have a 250-cal deficit per day and lose half a pound a week. I thought about it and I’m pretty sure I was likely underestimating my food intake or counting wrong or making typos when logging food the last time around. Low thyroid or not, I’m still human and it should have worked, especially if you do it right. So that means I’m the one that screwed up somewhere along the line when inputting info.

For this grocery order, I got a bigger variety of food so I’m not stuck with just meat and veggies and will have fewer bigger meals rather than more smaller ones that don’t fill me up and that leave me feeling hungry until I eat again. I still don’t mind meat and veggies for the most part but this way I can throw in some variety along with it, so I don’t have cravings for different things. So two of my meals will consist of meat, veggies, and a small portion of starch of some kind like rice, pasta, or potatoes. My other one will consist of chickpeas, beans or soup. I’ll have a small kiddy yogurt when I take my statin to keep from getting an upset stomach. Plus there’s my morning coffee. Or whatever time of day or night I happen to get up.

At 6:30 I had two roasted chicken thighs and a cup of macaroni and cheese. I didn’t have any veggies with that particular meal, but I will with my next one which will be at 11:30. I’m spacing my meals out by 5 hours. It’s been 2 hours and I still feel satisfied. If I’d grabbed just a smoothie or just an avocado, I would probably be getting hungry again by now.

Reading that there are new strains of the coronavirus discovered wasn’t exactly a thrilling thing to learn. Hope it’s nothing that the vaccine still can’t handle!

I slept for an average of 7 hours and 43 minutes last week. The week before that it was 8 hours and 11 minutes and the week before that was 7 hours and 32 minutes. Most weeks seem to be 7 hours and something minutes, but I did have a week that was 6 hours and 34 minutes.

Had a dream that I had to stay somewhere but I don’t think it was any kind of jail or hospital since I was packed into a car with several other people heading somewhere. In the dream, I realized that I had counted wrong and I didn’t really have to be there for four thousand and something more days but actually six thousand and something more days. Even though this only equated to almost a year in the dream, I was deeply depressed by this realization.

Aly’s back to updating her other Twitter account but not very often. Damn, I wish I’d never reached out to Molly!

Went through the hutch drawers earlier and found more stuff I’d forgotten about. Some old family pictures neither of us give a shit about but agreed to keep, along with cards and letters from various people. I forgot that Marie once wrote to me. I’ve got some cards from Eileen, Aly, Rosa, my dear deceased Italian foster dad, and even a couple of postcards from Nane. I forgot that she actually sent me two postcards, one from Greece and one from Turkey. She sent one to Auburn and one here to “Zitronen Land.”

I read the German part to Tom as we were going through things and decided that even though we’re not friends anymore, I would keep the postcards. Some people I definitely regret knowing and some I don’t. Nane was fun and interesting for a while before her judgmental ways and bitchiness really got to me. Also, as ugly as German is, I sure did end up learning quite a bit of it, thanks to her.

I made a couple of interesting discoveries that I’m excited about whenever we get settled in the new place. First there was this thing you stuck your finger directly into that printed nail designs directly onto the nail. Those range from $500 to over a grand. I’m not fluent but I could get by if I were suddenly stuck in the middle of Germany, and that’s something to be proud of.

Still not wanting any chemicals on my nails, I looked to see if there was a way to design and print my own nail stickers and there is! It would be a little more expensive, but this way I could choose the exact designs I wanted and not have to worry about them going bad. You can even print family photos or pictures of pets!

I’m surprised I was wrong on the stimulus thing and that they’re going to give adults $600. To those who are really in need, $600 seems like such a fucking insult. You can’t even pay a month’s rent on that! What the hell is wrong with this country???

Wish they’d shut up already with the stimulus talk. We know we’re not getting shit, they know we’re not getting shit, so enough is enough with the bullshit promises! The American government simply doesn’t take care of its own. Never has, never will.

Decided to do some more sorting and packing. I went through the stuff in the hutch cabinets and tomorrow I’ll do the drawers. You don’t realize how much shit you have until it comes time to go through it and start packing it up! Things I totally forgot we had.

It’s still too soon to really judge the pig liners but these guys really frustrate me at times. Especially Blitz. Rockefeller hasn’t chewed on the liner, but Blitz has chewed his. Next time I may put down a bit of bedding on top of the liners and also hook the corners to the side of the cage beforehand. I hooked part of Blitz’s liner a little while ago, so we’ll just have to wait and see.

Tom applied for a few jobs just in case they tell him to start working again. God, I hope not! Not until this damn thing is under control and we’re vaccinated. But that’s the thing. Out of the things I have strong vibes on right now, his working in this state ever again is not one of them.

Had a bunch of strange dreams last night, one in which Aly and I met somewhere, and she told me my bad ear was ugly, LOL. Not something I can picture her telling anyone. I wasn’t offended, though, in the dream because I appreciated her honesty and agreed as well.

Then I had some weird dream about hiding from someone in a dark building where I rented a room or apartment of some kind. Someone was after me or the person who lived in the place before me, so I turned off all the lights and hid in the bathroom. The bathroom had two doors on opposite ends, so I quickly locked them just in time for a young woman to be shouting angrily and punching the door.

Then, after being glad I had backed my writing up, I realized I couldn’t find the story I was working on and that the backup had failed. I ran into Stacey from Arizona in a corridor somewhere and asked her if she could find my story. LOL

In another dream, I was finishing up a visit with Dr. A only instead of us leaving the exam room together, she remained seated at the computer after I rose to my feet and said “Bye” and proceeded to leave the room and she said “Bye” too.

Next, I was writing my parents a letter telling them I really like being in a liberal state where a guy could walk into a bar dressed in drag with no questions asked or something to that effect. While I was at it, I was listening to a song that was supposedly written right after gays and lesbians first got their rights and the lyrics said something like, “It was supposed to be a trial run, but 33 days later we still have our rights.”

In the last dream, I walked up to the front door of our place, and instead of the street being laid out like it really is, the saw cock was off to one side and Jesse actually lived on the other. As I approached the door, I could hear Jesse sawing away at something and was glad we would be moving soon.

I am surprisingly awake today even though I did take a quick nap which I love to do when I can. The recycle truck hadn’t come by the time I got up, but the garbage truck did and amazingly, they never woke me up.

What did wake me up - unless I woke up and then smelled it - was what I could have sworn was Tom cooking something with a really strong smell. I told myself I was going to let him have it for that since he knows better. I’m not only the lightest sleeper when it comes to sounds but also when it comes to smells, so he makes a habit of not eating anything smelly when I’m sleeping. However, he was sound asleep the first time I was aware of it. It almost smelled like fast food. I also smelled it a few hours later. I doubt anyone else’s cooking would penetrate these walls as thin as they are, so I don’t know what it was. I mean even if someone was right outside the bedroom window which was closed, of course, eating a cheeseburger, I don’t see how I would smell it in the bedroom. Either way, I still woke up feeling refreshed.

My hip didn’t feel too bad, so we went out for a walk. It was warm in the sunshine, but the breeze was cool. I wore no hoodie over my sweatshirt. It was about 55 degrees. After our walk was when I took a nap.

Tom discovered these bamboo charcoal carbon disposable pee pads for guinea pig cages that we ordered and that arrived today. We place them in their cages and are anxious to see how they work out. It was $20 for eight of them. They’ve got great reviews. Yeah, we would find the best solution for them now that we’re a month or so away from re-homing them. Who knows, though? They could end up being a bust. The fleece liners weren’t as exciting as I thought they would be because the pigs weren’t nearly as clean with them and the liners weren’t as easy to shake out and clean as I hoped they’d be.

If these liners work out, I can give Fuzzy the last fleece liner and we can put the bamboo liners in the pig cage when we go to re-home them.

Rockefeller’s reaction was a little weird at first. Blitz didn’t have any problem with it but Rockefeller’s teeth were chattering and he was making the kind of chatter that signals distress in a guinea pig. We’re thinking maybe he just didn’t like the smell at first but then he quickly started eating and was fine.

Fuzzy’s tumor is starting to grow and he may have more than one, but he’s still able to get around and still eats plenty. He’s just sleeping a lot more.

We got a hydraulic hinge for the meter reader when they open the door to the crawl space. Maybe this will finally get them to stop slamming it like they’re pissed off. We can’t just leave it open because skunks and other animals could get under the house.

I also ordered 100 chocolate chip cookie incense sticks but those won’t be here till the end of the month.

Looks like Aly stopped tweeting on her other account. Yeah, I’m not surprised. She probably set up a new one but I’ll never find it if it’s not connected to Molly. I’m sure she blocked my main account from it, too.

The largest of three spots on my leg now has a slight rise on one edge. Gonna wait until after the new year to decide what to do. Maybe I’ll take a picture of it and send it to Doc A through the portal and get her opinion on it, though she’s likely to tell me to come in. What I don’t like about this is that there are three of them and the largest spot is bigger than the one I had on my back.

I took a more peaceful route on our walk yesterday heading towards the back of the park rather than sticking to the main drags. Joe, the mailman, passed by us and we waved to each other and I said, “Long time no see!”

At some point, after we got back, I felt a little fatigued and lay down in bed figuring I would just close my eyes for a few minutes but ended up napping for almost an hour and a half. I love taking naps, but I remained kind of groggy for the rest of the day after getting up. Even so, I was up pretty late and slept a long time, causing my schedule to jump quite a bit. I slept something like 9 hours and 20 minutes. Slept till noon.

I dreamed of Bob. It was weird because it was like we were chatting like old buddies and even dancing happily together. Then there was some dream about my sheets being all torn and held together with duct tape and being hesitant to ask my parents for money to get new sheets, LOL.

It’s amazing that the house workers let me sleep since Tom said they were tremendously noisy on and off from about 8:30 to lunchtime tossing all the concrete they tore up into a dump truck. I’m both surprised and not surprised. I’m not surprised because they were working on the other side of the house opposite the bedroom but then I’m surprised that the loud vehicles going to and from the place didn’t wake me up. It’s still frustrating because I know this project is going to take weeks…and then there will be something else going on. Been here for over 7 years and I still can’t believe how fucking noisy this place is.

We ran out to Rite Aid using the cloth masks that Covered California sent us. I guess they’re supposed to be better than paper masks. He downloaded an app that will notify him if it’s discovered that anyone was in there at the time we were that ends up diagnosed with the virus.

It still bugs me at times that Aly won’t give me any information about where she lives or share any pics of Cam. We’re not connected on Facebook (even though she said she hates it there anyway), I don’t know her address, there was no such doctor as what’s supposed to be Cam’s ex-SIL, and I’ve never seen a picture of her with any BF. I do have her phone number and I do have her parents’ address but still, her explanation as to why she won’t give me her address doesn’t make sense. Just because she doesn’t think she’ll be there long? But why can’t I see where she is in the meantime for however long she is there? And why would she not tell me exactly where she was on Vinton Street knowing she was about to leave there anyway? The length of time you’re going to live somewhere doesn’t seem like a legit reason to not at least let what’s supposed to be a good friend of yours check you out on Google Maps. Something just doesn’t add up.

But it’s still hard to believe she would make Cam up. To be making him up means she can’t get anybody. But then why would she not be able to get anybody? She prefers men to women and guys are easy. She wouldn’t have to be alone. If you’re a feminine woman looking for another feminine woman that would be different. But her not living anywhere for more than a few months doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to hold back, at least in my opinion.

Maria friended me and I saw that Becky was added as well. Then Becky mentioned being hacked and this made me think Maria was a fake account and that the account was somehow connected to the hacking, so I blocked it. But then Becky assured me it was genuine, and I unblocked Maria and messaged her, letting her know why she was temporarily blocked and asking how she was doing. She’s getting back on her feet after coming out to SoCal and getting screwed by the daughter she gave up for adoption and met for the first time. She found that the daughter was a big-time drug addict and hooker living on skidrow and she threw her out after just a few hours of meeting. Then I guess Maria hooked up with the wrong guy and threw her sobriety away as well as her Section 8 and medical. A little hard to feel sorry for at least some of the things she’s been through since she made her own bed and had to lie in it but I’m glad to know she’s doing better.

So I took the opportunity to ask Becky if Marie was still in New York and that while I loved and missed her, I couldn’t deal with the extreme mood swings, accusatory behavior, and paranoia.

She said she never experienced that with her but that she seemed warmer on some days and cooler and others just like anyone else. Yeah, but they never had the kind of relationship we did so I’m sure that’s a big part of it.

Becky says she creates new accounts after each failed relationship. Well, she must not have been in one for a while unless she’s using the same name for each account, which is never her real name, to create new accounts with.

What the hell was that that my heart did this morning shortly after I got up??? As I was sitting there, I experienced what I’m guessing might have been A-fib but I’m not a hundred percent sure. Instead of vibrating quickly, though, my heart felt almost as if it was jumping. It was almost like I could feel it in my throat as well. It lasted 4-5 seconds and during that time I started to get dizzy and almost freaked out because I thought I was going to pass out. It probably wasn’t any big deal and hopefully, it won’t happen again anytime soon.

I took a picture of the red spots on my lower leg that I suspect may be pre-cancerous, so I have something to compare it to along the way between now and when I see my doctor in April.

The daily buzz goes on. The drone of the blowers throughout the park that don’t need to be doing the same spot every single fucking day, individuals having their lots done, the tractor tearing up the concrete where the new house is…I would want to scream or beat my head in the wall or both if I knew we weren’t moving next year! Today was probably the end of being able to sleep without being woken up since the loud traffic has been worse, partly thanks to the house workers.

We went on another noisy yet nice walk and this time for half an hour. I think my hip needs consistency as well as for me not to overdo the working out in order to keep the pain at bay. The problem is that when you’re tired so much of the time, you can’t be consistent. Maybe I could have been 20 years ago but not now.

For a while now I’ve had a vibe about getting breast cancer in my outer left boob, but I don’t think it will be any time soon. I doubt I’ll be under 65 if this really happens. It does run in my family and it is hereditary, so I suppose that I have just as much of a chance of getting that as I do of having a heart attack, stroke, or getting Alzheimer’s which also runs in the family.

It looks like one of the flower trees is blooming in someone’s yard as if it’s all confused by the warmer weather. Things don’t usually start blooming here until early March.

As I’m learning the hard way, nail polish strips have a shelf life. Did some research and it seems to be about a year. This makes sense when I think about it because nail polish in a bottle goes bad after a while, too. So I’m likely to end up with a lot of bad sets of nails and wasted money for hoarding too many at once. From now on I will order just one set at a time and stick with Wokoto since they fit the best and are the cheapest yet still of excellent quality.

It’s so nice to see Tom be able to enjoy his free time after working hard for many decades. So many things he wanted to do that he just didn’t have the time to do, mostly computer and electronics-related, of course. He deserves the break even though he is going to return to work sooner or later. Even though he wants to see about getting in with Amazon and then transferring to Florida, I just don’t “see” him working in Cali ever again.

Woke up with a sore throat though I don’t see how I could possibly be coming down with anything because I’m one of the most isolated people I know. Earlier I had quite a bit of fatigue and was so cold, too. Finally had to really push myself to go out walking. It was a noisy walk too, thanks to all the damn landscaping. Also, they’re working on the new house for God knows how many more weeks. Can’t hear that much inside the house but their trucks coming and going could wake me up.

I realized lately that I haven’t had issues with tardive dyskinesia in quite a while now. It seemed to go on for so many years that I really believed it would never go away. Wish I could say that about my TMJ although it’s better again. I guess oiling my ear did help. The dry conditions really mess it up at times. Hopefully, that means it will be better in Florida. We might actually get rain again in a few days which helps my skin.

But that damn hip of mine is driving me crazy! In light of having more and more joint issues, I realize that I’m going to have to choose between pain and eating when I’m hungry or less pain and more hunger. I may not be “obese” per se, but I’m weighty due to my muscles. Losing muscle wouldn’t be good or easy since it’s natural for me, so in order to lighten the stress on my joints, I’d have to eat less. A LOT less and that would mean going hungry much of the time. Then I’d have to keep it up, for the most part, in order to keep the weight off.

Now, I do handle pain a lot better than I handle hunger. So it may be best to just look at it as I do with my ear. I don’t like it, but I’ve accepted that I’m going to have to live with on-and-off ear/TMJ pain for the rest of my life. Maybe I should have that attitude with the hip pain and continue eating when I’m hungry. After all, millions of others live full lives that are heavier than me. I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.

Got some rain over the last couple of days and it’s made things so much more peaceful. Still hear a few planes and some loud vehicles but not nearly as much as usual. I hope the rain helps my skin because it’s been horribly dry lately as it’s been like a desert here. After today, who knows how many days it will be or even weeks before we see it again.

Yesterday we rearranged the living and dining areas but decided to leave the projector screen up for a while longer.

Back on the treadmill again and wondering why a brisk 3mph walk has me so winded all of a sudden. Today and yesterday I’ve experienced that suffocating feeling where I’m able to breathe but it’s like there’s no oxygen in the air. It’s weird. I guess I must have fallen that out of shape or something.

Plus, my ear – or TMJ – or whatever the fuck it really is, has been bugging me despite oiling my ear and doing those jaw exercises.

I was going to take today off but since I slept well and have good energy today, I figured I would wait until traffic starts waking me up again and I’m too tired to work out. It was so nice being able to sleep with just Alexa on volume seven last night instead of her on volume eight and the stereo blasting white noise as well.

I was reading a sad and discouraging article about how quiet places are becoming more and more extinct and that yes, the world is getting louder. It isn’t just me imagining it or exaggerating things or being overly sensitive in any way. After reading it, I just can’t help but wonder how far is far enough. I realize that now that our old place in Maricopa is probably just as overrun with loud vehicles and probably even motorcycles, a box fan wouldn’t be enough for me anymore if we were still there. I’d have to get at least 500 feet away from the street these days to drown out all the chaos without blasting the shit out of the sound machines, yet not many places are that far from the street. The only pieces of land big enough that we could afford to move to aren’t in climates I want to be in. I think we’ll be damn lucky if we can get half that far from the neighbor’s dogs, boom stereos, screaming kids, and traffic, but it’s better than just a few feet.

It rained last night, which is great because we not only need it, but the conditions here have been so damn dry that it’s really drying the hell out of my skin. The rain has been keeping the planes quiet this morning as well.

I got a bath bomb and took a bath with it yesterday to help moisturize my skin a bit more but if it helped it wasn’t by much. There was a prize in the coconut-scented center of the large bomb which took forever to completely dissolve. I didn’t have my glasses on so all I could see was something glittery inside a tiny clear plastic bubble. I thought maybe it was earbuds but when I got out of the tub and put my glasses on, I could see that it was a hair tie. I can wear it as a bracelet as well. It’s a nice light turquoise color with what looks like crushed ice crystals on it.

My ear has been dry as hell again too, so I’ve been oiling it every day. At least I went a little longer this time before it started getting to me again.

We got stay-at-home text messages yesterday on our phones. No problem since we’re already homebodies with no place to go anyway. It was exciting seeing headlines about millions of doses of the vaccine about to be distributed throughout the country!

We began removing some of the wall stickers with the heat gun yesterday. We actually started with the pink rat on his bedroom door. We’re going to leave the flowers and butterflies. We’re going to be removing the stripper, mermaid, moon, dancers, and stuff like that.

We decided we’re going to touch up the paint throughout the place but paper the hallway, leaving the forest mural as is.

Getting spam from Sundae isn’t exactly waiting until next year to reach out to me. Kind of annoyed that they took it upon themselves to sign me up for their newsletter but still hoping to get a good deal from them and have a much quicker and easier experience than we would using a traditional real estate agent.

This morning we’re going to rearrange the living room to give it more of a traditional appearance for when they come to look at the place. We’re going to take the projector screen down and put the big screen TV back up. Also gonna drag the couch toward the center of the room. I’ll set the treadmill back up because I’ve been lazing out of cardio too much lately. Sometimes I can’t be that active anyway because I’m too tired but the only way I don’t get bored with walking unless I’m outdoors is to put my old laptop on the treadmill tray and do some puzzles or something while I’m walking. Even listening to music, audiobooks, or watching TV isn’t enough for me. The time simply passes by faster when I do puzzles.

My small pair of scissors with curved blades is getting old and dull so I ordered a new one with rainbow colors like the silverware set we got. I also ordered a three-pack of leggings for a couple of my large dolls. One pair is dark pink, another is pale pink, and another is white with pale pink flowers. The tag inside Jade’s old faded lavender pants said T2 so that’s what I got. The waistband will probably be too big for Mei Lin, but I don’t plan on keeping her anyway.

The coolest part of yesterday was receiving Aly’s gifts. As I told her, with our families being dead, assholes, or both, it meant a lot to me. She sent a beautiful necklace and bracelet she made using my favorite colors. In doing so she gave me a couple of ideas I never thought of before. One is to tie the beads off at both ends before I make the final knot. This would make it so much easier if it slipped out of my hand as I was trying to tie it. That way the beads won’t go flying all over the place and need to be restrung.

Another thing was the wax cord with the claw clasp already attached to it. I was really into magnetic clasps for a while until I realized what a pain in the ass they can be by grabbing other things. Chains would wind themselves around it, so I went back to traditional claw clasps or toggle clasps. What’s cool about these cords which come in a variety of colors from what I saw on Amazon is that you can restring whatever beads you want on them to suit your mood or match the color of your outfit. Never thought of a changing necklace before but that’s a great idea!

So my necklace is on a pink cord with rainbow beads and a really pretty pink crystal cube dangling from the center of it. The necklace says “Lady Rainbow” with pink purple and gold beads mixed in. I will always treasure them!

Plus there was a card, a cute nail file with pink hearts, and vanilla lip gloss.

Anyway, I slept well again. Crashed at about 5 p.m. and got up at 1:30 a.m. to pee and take my meds. I laid back down and figured I would get up in a half-hour and make coffee, but I dozed off for another 90 minutes.

We’re going to be taking care of all the animals today, including moving Fuzzy into the big cage. That cage is a little too big for one bale of bedding, but it would be perfect for him since he’s smaller and doesn’t pee every other minute as guinea pigs do. He’s too fat to get through the bars and doesn’t have the strength to climb much anymore. He still gets around well otherwise and hasn’t lost his appetite yet or anything like that.