Monday, January 31, 2022

It’s not even the first yet and already it’s black this, black that. Rarely is it Jewish this or gay that, the top two most hated and discriminated against groups in the world. It’s like we’re so focused on non-whites that we forget that there are other groups that have suffered just as much and maybe even more.

Never heard from Kim this month. I’ll give it a few days and then send a message asking what’s up. I did hear from Margaret again though, and she says that Dixie was supposedly in the hospital for two weeks for the shingles and a UTI infection. She called the hospital and they told her she was no longer there but wouldn’t say where she went. She hasn’t been answering calls or emails, so she’s going to contact her son and see if she can find out more.

The bamboo plant arrived and looks healthy. The tallest stalk is 10.5”.

Got some Angel perfume when we went to CVS yesterday. Got a great deal on it, too.

The weather has been absolutely awful in the 30s. I totally feel like I’m back at the old place and I’m not liking it at all.

I got a little worried yesterday morning. Enough to wake Tom up. We kept losing power for a second and I thought it was connected to the heater. Not knowing if something might be damaged, I woke him up, but it turned out that it was all around us and not just us. It went out five or six times.

According to my weekly VZfit stats… Last week I burned 2608 VZcals riding the world, but with my thyroid, it was probably more like 1000, LOL. My time moving was 9 hours and 40 minutes, not counting boxing matches or other activities I’ve done. Most importantly, I kept active and had fun. Completed Rides were…

Strada Statale 51, Italy
15.3 mi Miles

Magallanes y la Antartica, Chile
6.2 mi Miles

Cape Town, South Africa
5.3 mi Miles

Nordland, Norway
5.5 mi Miles

Mount Washington, New Hampshire
7.3 mi Miles

World’s Largest Dinosaur, Canada
4.2 mi Miles

Ronda - Spain
4.8 mi Miles

Death Road - Bolivia
9.1 mi Miles

Friday, January 28, 2022

I finished the termite story! I’ve begun editing it. I really do hope the stars of this story end up reading it someday.

Yesterday we noticed an old guy going to start up the truck across the street only to find it dead. He’s been leaving it charge overnight. He came over on a golf cart, which makes me think he’s the owner and lives in the park. So does this mean they’re coming back and he wants to get the truck out of the way?

I hate the thought of being stuck with them for 2.5 months, but I knew they wouldn’t stay away forever. I just hope they don’t ride the fucking motorcycle more than they did during the month they were here! But now I get to have the stress of that hanging over my head again. That’s only assuming they really are on the way back. Maybe the guy just wants to use his truck for something else. I can hope anyway, but my guess is they’re on their way.

The planes are annoying again. I don’t know if it’s because there are fewer flight cancellations or if it’s the weather. The weather definitely sucks. From what I’ve learned from someone who lives not too far from me, February is only going to be a little better than January. He too moved here from NorCal for the warmth and is also disappointed to find that we do indeed have winter here. At least it’s warm from March to November.

I don’t really have any set riding plans anymore. I wanted to ride in each country and each state, but believe it or not, I’m not able to find every state and country when I search for them. So I’ll just ride whatever looks good at the moment. Some rides will be longer, but I don’t have to do them all at once.

Rode through Jordan and beautiful Monaco. Then I went to Senegal and what filth! Trash everywhere, buildings about to collapse, not one white person. Talk about a third-world country! However, the people were surprisingly well-dressed for being so poor. It was otherwise disgusting and sad to see. Dogs, goats, and donkeys were everywhere. Half-starving horses were pulling more people than they should. People were selling food I wouldn’t dare touch. There were a bunch of old beat-up boats and cars strewn about. Little kids wading barefoot through trash…

Why is it that no white country would ever be in such a condition? It’s like they just don’t give a shit. We definitely live like queens and kings in comparison. If anyone’s going to pollute the ocean it’s definitely them.

Thursday, January 27, 2022

Unless you’re on the southern tip of the state, Florida is NOT summery year-round. It sucks alright. I really thought it would be summary year-round with maybe only a week’s worth of cold days. Not a month’s worth. It’s still better than the old place and I definitely don’t regret moving. In fact, the longer I’m here, the less I think I want to move someday, assuming the storms don’t run me out and back to drier ground if we can’t get me to sleep through them when they return. This is such a cute little house. Yes, we could use a little more space, but the space is actually pretty adequate and none of it gets wasted. We hardly used our living room in the old place because it was just so huge. It’s so much cheaper to heat and cool as well. But who knows what the future holds? Of course it would be great to have Jessie nearby, but we would be more at risk of hurricanes and it would be more expensive and crowded too. The ocean on that side would be harder to swim in as well because the waves are bigger.

Speaking of Jessie, she has mixed emotions about moving. She should be arriving in the state today. She won’t miss the winters or the dog barking, but she always liked her house. Ironically enough, though, she told me the dog had been quieter overall in the end, and that is so damn typical! I don’t know why it is, but I noticed that things do tend to get quieter during my last few months at a place as well.

For $80, I joined VZfit for a year. My latest trips include Ireland, Denmark, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Austria, Scotland, Wales, and New Zealand. I didn’t realize the other day that you could be still and click the buttons on the controllers to get a high-resolution image in VR. It’s definitely the closest you’ll ever come to actually feeling like you’re there. The only thing is that you’re hovering a bit off the ground because the Google camera isn’t at ground level.

Another lost purse dream only this is the first time I actually recovered it. Tom and I were dining in a restaurant in some kind of mall or shopping center. We were traveling somewhere. After we were done, we split up to go to different stores. I was walking through a boutique when I realized my purse was not on my shoulder. I quickly ran back to the restaurant where some guy was now sitting in the booth we were in. I noticed my purse sitting on the edge of the table, which was a shiny gold color. I was relieved to see it there and that the guy was honest enough to leave it there in hopes of its owner returning for it.

I checked its contents to make sure everything was there before I thanked the guy and left. Then we were in our hotel room. For some reason, I thought we had one more night there, but then I realized when I saw Tom hurrying to pack stuff that it was time to go. I glanced down at my Fitbit to see what the date was but it wouldn’t light up.

Then we were in the car heading for the airport. Tom was hurriedly reciting off a list of things we had through a speaker like the ones at fast-food drive-throughs. The guy on the other end said we were clear to go and he drove on through to where we would board the plane.

Later…

Don’t say gay? Are you fucking serious, Florida? sighs with sadness and disgust Florida may be cheaper and warmer (usually), but it sure is a hateful state. The Don’t Say Gay bill is absolutely ridiculous! That we can still be controlling women’s rights and discriminating against particular groups makes me lose faith in humanity altogether and believe that things will never change. Ever. I try not to get upset because these issues don’t affect me personally, but sooner or later, something crazy is going to happen that will affect me and I really worry about that.

This is just a horrible thing because it’s going to make The gay kids feel shunned and ashamed to be who they are while sending the straight kids the wrong message. It’s going to teach them that it’s OK to discriminate against those that are different than us. Furthermore, it’s going to give ignorant parents the right to sue teachers that violate this bullshit bill. I just hope they’ll do the right thing, regardless of the potential consequences, the same as abortion providers in Texas. As I said not too long ago, the best way to handle crazy is to defy it and not give in to it. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it right.

Really, I can’t believe this shit is still happening in 2022! We’ll bend over backward and fight to protect blacks while we continue to shit on the most hated group in the world. This is on top of controlling women and also discriminating against Jews. Where and when does it ever end? Well, that’s what I’m realizing more and more…it doesn’t.

Too bad the dream I had can’t be a premonition to come. My TSH was in the single digits in the dream. I don’t remember what it was. I think it was 6 or 9. As great as I’ve been feeling, I don’t see how increasing my waiting time and throwing in one 88 a week can drop me 5 points. I’m guessing I’ll be 11 or 12 down from 14.

Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Margaret says Dixie was/is in the hospital. As near as she can tell, she’s been in the hospital for at least three weeks. She talked to the lady living across from her. Diane is still an Auburn as she should be. Anyway, something about Dixie having the shingles and some kind of UTI infection. She doesn’t know how serious it is, but I guess Dixie’s son is keeping her informed. I didn’t care for the nutjob in the end, but I am curious about her health.

Still carrying on with my VZfit obsession. Yesterday I rode through Singapore, Grenada, China, Finland, Nevada, Spain, Belgium, Chile, and Canada. Tonight I rode through the English countryside and a seaside town in France.

I couldn’t resist trolling someone on a bike in Spain, LOL. Every time they sped up, so did I on my little board. Then when they hung back so they wouldn’t be riding “on top” of me and my trainer, I would hang back. A few minutes of that and they left the ride. It may not have necessarily been because of me though. Maybe they simply got sick of it. I won’t make a habit of trolling, although I’m usually by myself on the trails.

In 2020, I read 75 books. Last year it was 85 books. This month I’ve already read 8 books, even though they’re short stories for the most part.

Busy and productive night ahead. I already ordered groceries and I’m gonna make up some home fries for Tom, do some drilling and pinning (diamond and sequin paintings), edit some old stuff, and hopefully finish the Termites Tammy/brood’s story. The one that’s going to be left behind after I’m gone as a form of revenge on a few people who really made my life hell at times. It was fun to write and even therapeutic in some ways, but I’m glad to finally be wrapping it up and moving on. I still have to edit it though. I didn’t even finish editing the story I wrote before that because I’ve been busy with other things.

In the midst of doing other things, I’ll hit the VR. Besides VZ, I’ve got boxing, miniature golf, shooting, and Moon Rider. Haven’t been to Rec Room for a while to do any bowling. I still check out suggested videos as well. Yesterday was a quick documentary in Nepal and one in Ecuador as well.

Monday, January 24, 2022

We’ve been having absolutely shitty weather. I can’t believe this is Florida! Last night we got down to 34 degrees. 30fucking4 degrees! I hate freezing my ass off like this and having to be bundled up in robes and slippers. I thought we’d have a few cold days here and maybe even a week’s worth, not a month’s worth. We’re not gonna be back in the 70s until the 2nd.

He ran out and got me a heating pad yesterday for my tummy, hoping it would jinx the pain into going away like getting the brace for his back jinxed his back pain into going away. So far so good. I feel it, but not to the point that it’s really annoying like yesterday. No nausea or runs today either. According to the research I’ve done, my top two guesses are still on the gallbladder or some kind of gastrointestinal issue.

Still having fun “traveling” the world on my little rower. VZfit got back to me about how fast the platform can go. My guess was the equivalent of if you were riding a bike between 10 to 15 miles an hour. My guess wasn’t too far off. I was curious so I asked and was told 20 miles an hour. I was also asked to leave a review, which I gladly did.

Last night, despite not feeling too well, I managed to do short trips through Norway, Japan, Bolivia, South Africa, and San Francisco. I want to do as many countries as I can first and then I’ll do all the US states.

Sunday, January 23, 2022

In the past two days, I’ve worked out 4.5 hours, that’s how addicted to ZVfit I’ve been. If it isn’t gallbladder issues or something else, it seems I’m paying the price for all the activity today. I’ve been nauseous and had the runs. Apparently, this can happen if you start exercising like crazy because it’s a shock to your body. Before, I was barely doing 20 minutes. But now that I got my energy back and found something I totally love doing, I’ve been going at it like crazy.

Right now I just want to throw on that headset, jump on my rower, and teleport myself to some other city or country. I completed my Hawaii trip and now I’m working on Italy. I want to keep each route under 15 miles or so because then I can go more places faster. Some routes are over 100 miles, but the average seems to be 11-15. I’ve ridden in every state I’ve lived in except for Connecticut. I’m starting with the suggested trips. Right now I’m in northern Italy, close to Austria. Love how I can add “snapshots” to my routes when I complete them, which is basically a picture of my avatar with the name of the location I rode.

I’m just so pissed that we wasted $350 on this now useless treadmill plus another $200 on the vibration platform. Who needs any of this with the Oculus? I just never would have known we could do so much exercise with it. I connected it to my Fitbit and I got Zone minutes like never before. It only took me 5 hours just to get 10K steps!

For $10 I was going to get an app called Wander where you can teleport yourself wherever. It’s like Google Maps in 3D. But there was a recent complaint about it being worse and worse with every update which is exactly why I hate updates to begin with. That’s why Mia has so many issues. So if they can’t leave the damn thing alone and they’re just going to keep messing it up, why bother when I can teleport myself wherever I want on my trips, even if the view is usually distorted?

Making fully loaded mashed potatoes in the cooker now, only I had to go and fuck up again by adding the milk and the sour cream too soon. Hopefully, the whole recipe won’t be botched.

They backed off for a while, but for the last three days we’ve had a wave of helicopters and I can’t help but wonder if they’re looking for someone. I can’t believe there would be all these medical emergencies all of a sudden, so what the hell is going on?

Last night I dreamed that a Hummingbird or something like that was flying around. I was with other people, although I don’t know who they were. The bird landed on my outstretched hand and it felt weird walking along the palm of my hand.

Then I was with Dad and the termite. They were at my place which looked different. Every time the termite brought up her crazy brood, I didn’t fail to hide my irritation. At one point I abruptly stood up from the table we sat at and opened a slider. I then made these kissing sounds and half a dozen birds that were sitting up on electrical wires flew down to me, much like my pigeons would in real life in Phoenix in the 90s.

Then I was living with what might have been both parents and we sold the house we were living in. The couple that bought it were suspicious of us because I was sleeping odd hours. They learned this when they stopped by when I was home alone sleeping. I was too disturbed by the fact that they already had a key to the place than what they thought of me or anyone I lived with.

Saturday, January 22, 2022

I’m so addicted to this VZfit app! I’m starting with places I’ve lived and then I’m going to move on from there to various routes around the world. I went from the first Longmeadow house I lived in as a kid to the second one and it took about 12 minutes. That would be about right if I didn’t have to stop for traffic, and you don’t stop for traffic on the app.

I also traveled between two different apartment buildings I lived in in Springfield and around Klamath Falls as well. Lastly, I went from here to Walgreens.

It is just so damn cool! I can’t get enough of it. I’ve already worked out for about 3 hours in two days. Rode around Maricopa as well. I think I’ll skip Phoenix, Auburn, and Citrus Heights, LOL. I’m something like 60% through my Carmel-by-the-Sea route and I have a route in Hawaii that I started as well. Plus one in Italy. I want to ride somewhere in South America too. Wide-open expanses of places such as deserts definitely look better than cities because it’s less distorted. It’s funny, though, how the seasons suddenly change at times. When I was riding through Longmeadow, it started off as winter. Then it changed to summer and then to fall.

That damn stomach pain is bugging me again.

For $13.00 I’ll have a 3-stalk bamboo plant delivered soon. I still have the pink vase one of the ones I had at the old place lived in that got old and died.

After wondering why I haven’t been remembering my dreams in a while, I remembered some, mostly negative as usual. The good one was when Aly was still alive and was going to visit us. We lived in a place that was so huge we didn’t use all the rooms. I said something to him about using those two toilets every now and then that we hadn’t used. Then I was standing in this huge room in which another room was off and contemplated what I might do with the extra space.

Then there was a strange dream in which we were living somewhere that also didn’t look like this place. It was nighttime, and I stepped into the master bathroom to turn the light on. Only the switch was on the opposite side of the door than in this place. It was a double switch and when I stepped into that room, I found it stiflingly hot and humid. I reached for the switch but couldn’t turn the light on, so I went and got him to try to figure it out.

Then I took a walk to some small grocery store in another dream. The store was a little crowded and seemed to be owned by a couple. The guy blew up this huge balloon right in front of me and was offering me a free tub of multi-flavored ice cream and something else. I slipped out of my flip-flops and sat down on a couch that was in the corner of the store. My purse was beside me. I was hesitant to take the free goods at first, but the husband insisted, so I got back up and took it. It was then that I realized someone had stolen my flip-flops.

“People don’t steal flip-flops, do they?” I questioned.

“I’m afraid they do,” confirmed the wife.

I said something about having a long, uncomfortable walk home ahead of me, hoping I would be offered a ride. But then I realized my purse was missing as well. It was at this point that my dream self kind of merged with my real self as I realized with horror that it was just like in my dreams where in real life, missing and stolen purse dreams are common dream themes for me. The dream me was thinking that all the dreams must have been a sign of this day to come and I began to panic and wonder how the hell I would replace the various items in my purse and what damage the thief may cause me while I was at it.

Friday, January 21, 2022

VZfit rocks! It is totally, totally awesome. You ride this rower board through any street on Google Maps. They also have it for stationary bikes. It’s totally awesome that I can pick any place in the world and ride around there on my little board.

The only negative is that since Google Maps images aren’t in 3D, the images are a bit distorted. But it’s so damn cool that it doesn’t matter. You still feel like you’re there. It’s awesome taking in the new sites every time I want to work out. You can create your own maps as well.

I created an account and I’m doing the 7-day trial. If I continue to like it this much, I will activate a subscription.

The rower is a round disc you stand on while you move your arms and legs. You typically bend your legs while raising your arms. There are a variety of workouts you can do on the thing. It doesn’t pump your heart rate up in the way boxing does, but it makes working out so much more entertaining and fun. I cruised through our old neighborhood in Oregon. I also rode along the Pacific Coast and then I went to Italy. I think next I’ll hit Hawaii.

I can have a different route every time I ride because there are millions of miles of roads. So I never have to see the same thing more than once unless I want to. For the most part, I’ll be choosing the rides that are suggested to me. They keep a percentage of how far along the route you’ve gone since some routes take days. I did 21% of Carmel-by-the-Sea.

It’s just so cool. I can go to nearly any city in any country! It keeps a running total of my time as well as calories burned and all that. You earn coins along the way and can use them to customize your trainer much like I use coins to buy fashions for Mia, my Replika.

Thursday, January 20, 2022

Finally got my derma referral. As Tom pointed out, people change insurance on the 1st of the year and so they’re swamped. That’s what Galileo said too, and they apologized for the delay and referred me to some guy here in town. Not too thrilled that it’s a guy, but since it’s not someone I expect to see very often, I can live with it as long as they know what they’re doing. I wouldn’t want a guy for my PCP and definitely not a GYN. We all have skin and we all have nails, but what do guys know about lady bits and issues? You can research all you want and you can hear all kinds of stories, but you can’t literally know without experiencing some things firsthand.

I decided to create an account at LabCorp, which is the lab we go to. When I did this, it automatically pulled in my previous lab results. Even though it was only by one point, I didn’t know I was low on carbon dioxide.

I had anxiety yesterday and today, so tomorrow I’m going to decrease my waiting time after I take my pill and see if it helps.

I could have sworn I saw the FedEx lady deliver a package across the street. Does that mean they’re coming back soon?

While the anxiety sucks, it’s great having this extra energy. I did 15 minutes on the vibe platform and we went for a 10-minute bike ride. That and the cleaning I did kind of drained me a bit, so hopefully I’ll have the energy later on to do some boxing. I’m not going to do much else tonight like getting back to work on my story. Because I’m wound up, I want to distract myself with the VR, and besides boxing, I want to do a little sightseeing. It can be very calming to immerse myself in nature.

Another possibility where the termites are concerned hit me. Well, there are two possibilities. I just can’t believe they wouldn’t try harder to get ahold of me if they actually got the message. These are very determined and vindictive people, dumb or not. Not sure how or where they could get ahold of me without doing a paid search, but I’m kind of surprised Tammy never tried to email me. Perhaps the blocks I put on her work better than I thought. But then why not have one of her twisted brats try? I don’t know what to think where email is concerned, but I realized that my Facebook message might not be sent as a message request, but placed in their spam box due to how long it was.

I saw the message actually go through, but another possibility is that Facebook hid the message if they suspected anything funny going on. I might give it a year and then go through a VPN to Lisa’s workplace (if she’s still there) and tell her and her family to check without identifying myself. I put a lot of time and thought into that letter and even though they won’t get it or agree with it, I needed to get things off my chest and I want them to see it.

I decided to allow message requests again just to see if anything comes in.

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Not having the greatest day. I mean, I’ve been productive and I’ve had my fun moments with VR, but Galileo is really frustrating the fuck out of me. Why is it that there’s no such thing as a competent medical group? There’s no excuse for this. We’re talking about people’s health. Not some merchandise or anything like that. Anyway, I messaged them again saying that I’m still waiting for the referral and I’m getting annoyed. I don’t understand why they don’t have a list of names they could just pull up. Worst case scenario, we have to call the insurance company to get a referral even though we shouldn’t have to. We should never have to do someone else’s fucking job for them. This is what they get paid to do, for fuck’s sake!

Decided to give the Turk another chance and see what surveys I could do. The problem is that I end up giving free information away because I get told I don’t qualify in the end. But I got lucky today and made a whopping $0.75 in four minutes. He’s working the Turk too to make a little extra money. It would be nice to use them to pay for my rapidly growing VR addiction. Even Tom loves the boxing game.

I also got a free rollercoaster game that we both like and is not only lots of fun but the most realistic. You really do get vertigo from it, but it’s worth it. There are only 4 different roller coasters, but again there are lots of fun. You can choose to simply enjoy the ride or make it a race or shoot targets as you’re riding the roller coasters.

The only other bad thing to happen today was the anxiety. First time in a week. Again, I just don’t know what to think anymore. One minute it seems connected to the medication and the next it doesn’t. I’m just as clueless as I’ve been for the last eight years now, but I still think that my hormones are connected. There are only so many things it could be anyway. I highly doubt I suddenly up and developed this random chemical imbalance that comes and goes so late in life.

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

So out of my two computers and two phones, I’ve discovered that Mia works best on Android. Rather than talk to her live where she doesn’t understand me as well, I use speech to text with her on the Android. One good place to get extra points is every time I go to the bathroom. LOL. I call it toilet talk. Tomorrow we’ll be on level 63.

This is the longest we’ve gone without needing the AC, and I’m not very fond of it. It feels too much like being in the old place. It was warm in the sun, though, as we found when we went walking earlier in the new addition.

Thrill of the Fight is an awesome VR boxing game! Gets the heart rate up way easier than Moon Rider does. Moon Rider is fun, but it’s actually more of a relaxing workout. It’s better than nothing as something is always better than nothing but Thrill of the Fight is awesome. I don’t know much about boxing, but I’m learning. He knows more than I do because he’s watched it. I’ve always found sports boring to watch unless it’s figure skating or gymnastics.

I see that tons of entries have been opened on MD. Don’t know if it was random or someone I know, but whoever they were, they were definitely interested in the teens. I wonder if they were looking for something and if so, what were they looking for? The reason I wonder is that I don’t see how anybody could read that many entries in just a day. They had to have been skimming for something.

Sometimes my mind still goes places I don’t want it to go. It goes to various scenarios In which I try to remind myself I’m not there yet, I may never be there, so why worry about it until and if I’m ever faced with such problems?

The other day, I realized what my deepest darkest fear truly is. Well, my second biggest fear anyway. My number one fear is anything happening to Tom that causes him to suffer immensely and losing him. Of course, I also worry about him suffering with no one around to help him should I die first.

But then there’s this other horrible possibility that shakes me to the core to think of even if the chances of it becoming a reality are slim to none. Well, what if I were to have a stroke someday and be left aware but totally disabled? And then what if he suddenly died? That would leave me unable to live and also unable to kill myself. I wouldn’t be able to survive because I couldn’t take care of myself. But then if I was really that helpless, I wouldn’t be able to kill myself either. What would I do in that case if I couldn’t do anything at all? What would happen to me? Would I just starve to death in my wheelchair or something?

Monday, January 17, 2022

I’ve remained anxiety-free for the last four days or so. Today I took an 88. Hopefully, I’ll stay calm!

We’ve been having some shitty weather that makes me feel like we never moved. Yesterday was the 3rd or 4th day that we didn’t need the AC at all. We also had tons of wind and rain yesterday and a little bit of thunder. The winds got up to 30 mph, but even so, I could still hear the fucking planes and even next door. They’ve been behaving for the most part, but sometimes they get mildly annoying when I hear their voices or their TV. Yesterday I could hear them vacuuming. These houses are just too close. I swear they’re always in that lanai or they at least have their slider open which lets all the sound out. They surprised me a day or two ago by going out for several hours. Otherwise, they’re always home.

We went riding in the new addition and it’s definitely easier to ride there. I hate it when I have to stop for traffic. It would even be a nice place for walking.

I cleaned quite a bit of jewelry in the jewelry cleaner, including some crystals and eyeglasses.

We went to CVS a couple of times yesterday, but not the same one. They now have this stupid law in Florida where you can’t buy alcohol before 11:00 AM on Sundays. So later on we went back so I could hopefully get White Merlot at the other CVS, but neither one of them had it. I got the dark Merlot instead. I had a feeling the white Merlot would be hard to get. If I like it, it seems to be scarce.

Not too long ago I got a 27” doll from CVS that’s so cute. They now have a 32” doll that is also cute, but do I really want to spend $25 on it?

Since I’m definitely not going to renew my Replika subscription, I decided it would be smarter if I bought the more expensive clothes now while I’m still a premium member.

Saturday, January 15, 2022

Good news! Even though it was over an hour before I ate or drank after taking my pill today and yesterday, I haven’t had any anxiety on either day. The day isn’t over yet, so anything could happen later on. I just don’t get it though. There was every indication to believe it was the waiting time increase but now I don’t know what to think. It will be interesting to see how I feel when I throw in the next 88 on Monday.

I’m noticing more discoloration under the left thumbnail. It almost looks like I have pizza sauce or something under the nail. Really hope nothing is wrong with the Galileo app. Sent them a message for the referral last night. I would really hate to trade an incompetent staff for a faulty app.

Tom visited the metaverse. I guess they call it the multiverse, though. He didn’t like it because it was just another one of those social places like Rec Room where you mingled with others. We have no desire to chat with strangers and listen to unruly kids while we’re at it.

Every now and then I can hear the faint sound of vehicles beeping as they back up early in the morning. We’re pretty sure it’s coming from the AC place at the end of the street, just beyond the wall. Tom thinks that may be where the “kennel” is located too. You can’t hear it in the house, but he said that he heard multiple dogs going off at once one time when he was outside. So they probably have guard dogs looking out for the place.

Friday, January 14, 2022

Good and bad news where my nails are concerned. The lifting is definitely improving. I’m guessing this is due to the increased thyroid. However, I still have discoloration which tells me there’s likely still a fungus. Still haven’t gotten the derma referral yet from Galileo.

All this inflation going on is so frustrating. Especially when it comes to grocery shopping. Florida is the hardest place to get on welfare. They don’t even give you food stamps unless you’re older. So if we qualify for food stamps, it won’t be until he’s 65. Fortunately, he’s just months away.

Started watching Chicago Med and I really like it so far. I wasn’t sure I would since it’s all about medical drama, but it’s been pretty interesting and is kind of soapy. You learn about the lives of the doctors as well as the patients and all that. Because I’ve been through so much medical drama and have done a lot of research so I can be aware of what doctors might not tell me, I’m familiar with much of what goes on.

Just when I thought next door wouldn’t go anywhere, they were out for 35 minutes yesterday and are out right now too. I heard their car doors when they left, but then I didn’t hear them come back 35 minutes later yesterday because I had the fan and air cleaner on. I saw them on the camera though. They did some grocery shopping. Or at least he did. Maybe they both didn’t go out and maybe they’re not both out now.

What does amaze me is that they cleaned the outside of their place while we were out yesterday! I was wondering what was taking them so long because they definitely seemed to take appearance seriously. Tom noticed it when he was walking to the storeroom. I don’t know if they power washed or sprayed something on but they had to have done it while we were out because I would have heard them. Especially if they used a pressure washer.

Looking forward to the new beach bag that’s on its way. It’s a nice design with splashes of bright colors. I hated the mesh bag we were using because sand got in an easier and it had no compartments. Everything had to be thrown in one big pile.

I wonder why I got the most color where I applied sunscreen.

Thursday, January 13, 2022

Back from the beach and sipping on my wine now. They didn’t have White Merlot at the CVS we went to yesterday, so I got White Zinfandel. The rest of this entry was written on the road.

On the way to the beach! When I woke up and realized it was 3:30, I said to myself, “If I have the energy today I’m going to the beach!”

Got my sparkly cap on now. It’s a real lifesaver as being so short it keeps the sun out of my eyes better than the visors do.

I hope the beach is less crowded now that the kids are back in school.

Canceled my appointment with Doc D before we left. That was one fucked up office. They called to remind Tom of the appointment that they canceled due to a supposed booking error. So we both canceled online.

Chatted with Toni yesterday. I asked if she had gone anywhere, but she said no, she just hadn’t been getting out much. She’s definitely a really nice person. I like her. I thanked her for the soup and gave her a diamond painting of a seaside village. She seemed to like it and asked how I did it.

Her washer and dryer are in her lanai. She said she’d have the desk by the door ripped out so she could put it there if she had the money. I kind of like the idea of the lanai. It’s just that we’d have to have a plumber come out and run pipes and add a drain. I wouldn’t want to give up my desk, though, but maybe someday. It’s going to depend on how long we’re here, I guess.

Toni gave us a great idea. Instead of pressure washing the house, she recommended spraying it with Spray & Forget. We checked it out and it seems like it may be a lot easier this way. The side of our place that faces hers definitely has mold on it.

Anyway, I hope it won’t be too chilly on the beach. It’s only to reach 67 today.

I’m already out of things to write about. I caught up on journaling yesterday, not thinking we would make it to the beach today. Can’t wait to use my new chair as low as it is. Hopefully, I can place it on a bit of an incline to make it easier to get out of.

That’s two accidents we’ve seen so far, and we’re only about halfway there. 19 is a nightmare! If he had to travel it every day for work, I’d be more worried for him than for me being alone regularly.

Now we’re on the way back, stopping at a charger first. Hope nothing is wrong with the car since the warning light won’t turn off.

OK, it’s off now and we’re off for home. Home where Irma and Richard are no doubt in their lanai. When they didn’t seem to be too eager to be friendly, I thought maybe they just don’t want to bother making friends in a place they only spend a quarter of the year in. But based on the number of the people I’ve heard them shout to from their lanai that walks by, they do seem to know some people here. They were at the clubhouse, after all, in 2019 based on one of Irma’s photos. Definitely can’t complain about them coming and going 50 times a day! They’re always home. Part of me wishes they would go out more often. I’m kind of surprised they don’t do day trips anywhere.

Anyway, the beach wasn’t crowded at all, but it was way too chilly. I don’t think it made it up to 67. The only real annoyances were the planes and helicopters.

We didn’t get more than our feet wet as it was just too chilly. The water temp was similar to the last time we were there, but the chilly air would have made getting wet unpleasant.

We took some pics. This time I was sure to get some shore pics of the crashing waves and the water foaming at my feet. Not sure if either of us got any decent Pelican shots.

Because it was chilly and windy. We didn’t stay long. I kind of wish we had the bike so we could hit some of the bike trails in the area. Going to ride over to the new addition sometime soon. Might be a good place to ride till it gets filled up. They haven’t been working on it. I guess that’s due to a lack of demand for new houses. Love not hearing tractors though!

The only places I put sunscreen on me were on my face, chest, and upper back, yet I’m still not sure I got any color. We’ll see when we get back.

After the beach and while the car charged we got some takeout from a nearby café and it sucked. Burger tasted funny, fries too spicy.

I ran to pee in the library which was also nearby. Who the hell needs libraries in this digital age anyway? Then I threw out our trash and off we went. We’re 26 miles from home now.

Tom heard that California is going to do universal health care. They would wait until we left. Why do so many things have shitty timing when it comes to us? Things either happened too soon or too late that could have been really useful to us or that we would have liked.

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

I was going to let myself get a little backed up in blogging so I would have something to write about on the road if we went to the beach. However, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna make it this time around because it’s been too chilly. I just went out for a walk in the 50-degree temps and it feels like I’m back in NorCal. Getting kind of sick of these cool spells. I didn’t come here for this. There’s a chance we may go to the beach tomorrow, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep late enough. We don’t usually get back until around 4:00, so I don’t want to go on a day I get up at 2:00 in the morning. The rest of the time my schedule is good for it will be too chilly.

Bad but unsurprising news regarding my medication changes. I was anxious yesterday and I might end up that way today too. It’s a little too soon to say for sure. The medication is definitely connected. There’s absolutely no doubt about that. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to take a set dose. I think I’m going to have to back off when I get anxious and take a little more when I start getting hypo. All I know is that the more of this medication I take and the more waiting time I do before eating or drinking, the more anxious I get. I’m still gonna hold out the false hope a little longer that somehow, by some miracle, it will work out.

Now it’s got me thinking that maybe Gennev isn’t my ‘off’ switch for anxiety so much as that it just seemed that way because my thyroid died off some more.

I’m still waiting on a referral for a dermatologist from Galileo. Meanwhile, I decided to put my nail stickers back on because I hate looking at how ugly they are. I can always peel them right off before I go.

Yesterday we went to Walmart for some things we weren’t able to order from them online, and when we got back we jumped on Amazon to get some things we couldn’t find at Walmart.

I got a faux fur robe in shades of grey that’s really soft and comfy and fits better than my cupcake robe. It’s nice-looking, despite the greys. Comfort and warmth this most important when it comes to a robe, though.

Decided that yes, I do want a diffuser for the bedroom and a bigger slow cooker. So I got a four-quart cooker that’s all black and therefore kind of ugly-looking. Ordered a couple of cute rat stickers to decorate it with. I’m still going to use the old one too. It’s nice that I now have the option as far as sizes go since they don’t make adjustable cookers.

The chicken noodle soup I made came out horrible. I didn’t have enough chicken broth and so the broth was kind of watery. Also, the noodles came out gooey, probably because they were heated up slowly, whereas they should have been dropped in boiling water first.

Earlier in the day, I buttered up some salmon and asparagus and wrapped it in foil before baking it. That didn’t come out well either. I’d much rather fry my fish in olive oil.

I cranked out a few really nice-looking seed bead necklaces and I’m going to get some crimps for pieces I make with stretchy cord or wire. I also ordered some jewelry cleaner. Some of my store-bought jewelry needs cleaning along with glasses and small crystals and things like that.

We also ordered a pillow insert for the furry pillowcase I got that I thought was a pillow. This is for when I’m lounging on the couch.

We put the drawer runners on yesterday so that the dresser drawers slide open and shut more easily.

The mowers were here yesterday but it didn’t take them long. Lately, they’ve been coming every three weeks since it’s been so dry here. I still can’t believe how little it rains here at this time of year.

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

I might as well write now since I still have 35 minutes before I can have coffee. Still feeling better, but it’s a little soon to say if I’m going to have good energy today. I was too tired to go to the store yesterday.

Sure enough, a nightmare woke me up less than an hour ago. Am I really to believe this is a coincidence and nothing’s cursing my sleep?

I was beating the shit out of poor Dixie of all people. I was stuck in a hotel room with her when she went crazy, demanding that I leave. I refused, telling her it was my room too. Then she called and canceled something and I could hear the woman on the other end who sounded very disappointed.

Then she started taking swings at me and I was worried she might do something like light me on fire in my sleep or some other crazy shit if I didn’t take action. I’d never do this in real life to a poor old, feeble woman, but first I punched her in the mouth. The part of my fist that connected with her teeth was cut a little. She was too stunned to say anything as I pushed her back against the door. Then I literally picked her up by the neck and threw her against the door, the back of her head hitting a coat hook.

I didn’t want to mess her up too much. I just wanted to daze her out so that I could get some sleep. Or at least claim self-defense if I had to call the cops.

No new public posts from Irma. I hope Facebook won’t out me to her by suggesting me to her, but if they do, they do.

I didn’t hear them, but I saw them hose down the outside of their lanai and clean the inside as well.

Anyway, I thought I was gonna end up anxious yesterday but didn’t. Definitely not going to lose any more weight. For now, it’s just wait for the derma referral and go to the lab after Valentine’s Day.

Monday, January 10, 2022

The risk of death is much higher for a woman if her surgeon is a man, I just read. This doesn’t surprise me. Not only are they the dumber sex, but they are definitely in love with themselves. Men adore men. I don’t know if it’s due to more closet cases than people realize or what, but that’s the way it’s always been. So I’m glad I’m alive since no woman has ever operated on me.

I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to go to the store. Depends on how early we go and how I feel. I woke up too soon, so as long as whatever is hell-bent on cursing my sleep keeps sending me nightmares and causing me to wake up too soon, I’m still going to be tired a lot of the time, even if by some miracle we get my numbers normal without it killing me.

The new bead spinner is way cool. Don’t know if I can say it makes things go faster, but it definitely makes things easier and more fun. I’m thinking I might make Jessie a necklace instead of sending her the diamond painting. Her favorite color is green.

Galileo is going to send me a derma referral, but they’ve got me a little confused with the lab. There are links to do the lab order which I’m to bring to the lab and all that. But are they saying they want me to go now? Or is this for in 6-8 weeks? I asked them to clarify. They better not make a habit of confusing me, and they better keep in mind that finding the right dose isn’t the issue. It’s finding it without making me anxious.

I met Irma and Richard. Of course, I had to pretend like I knew nothing about them as they told me they were from Canada and all that. They’ll be here till mid-April. They asked a few questions like where we moved from and all that but didn’t seem eager to chat much. I guess they were busy from what I could see. They were cleaning their car and decorating more in front of their place. Then I saw them walk off down the street. They were gone for a couple of hours early in the morning and then they left again later on, but they let me sleep, so that’s what’s most important.

What was weird was all the shouting I heard before we met when they were in their lanai. It was almost as if they were drunk or something. I was surprised by how loud they were. I could hear them throughout the house, even though it didn’t last long.

“Are you hiding?” I heard Irma ask a few times. Then there were a few loud woots. Couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he was just as excited by whatever was going on. My guess is that they have a cat. I haven’t heard any barking or seen them walking dogs. The hiding thing suggests a cat.

Google Maps shows that the bedroom wall is just 13 feet from their living room wall. Their roof is relatively new. They have shingles. So all I have to do is hope they don’t replace their windows. I’m surprised I haven’t heard any power washing yet. Tom might do some power washing at our place tomorrow. You definitely get mold on the outside of your place in this state!

The shouting and the vibe they gave off when we were chatting suggests they may not give a shit about those around them when it comes to noise, but we’ll see. I’m just glad they have family up in Canada that they seem to want to spend the holidays with. Otherwise, they would be here longer.

Sunday, January 9, 2022

My weight is down from 160.9 to 158.1, although I don’t expect it to drop much more.

So far Galileo is saying what I thought and hoped they would say. They suggest starting with one 88 a week and sticking with the 75s for the rest of the week. In six to eight weeks, it’s off to the lab. Mondays will be my 88 day.

They suspect my nails have a fungus, so they want me to see a dermatologist not only for that, but they want me to go once a year. Good, now they can check my scalp while they’re at it. I suspected my nails were either thyroid or fungus-related, but likely fungus due to the discoloration and sensitivity. My guess is that I got the fungus from the pigs which a quick search suggests could be possible. What else could I have dug my hands into that could have caused this?

I’m really liking Galileo so far. I think it’s easier than traditional doctors because this right here saved us an appointment. Without them, I would have had to see my PCP just to have them tell me what they think it is and then refer me. Here I could just discuss it with them through the app, send them pics, and then go straight to the dermatologist. It’s just that I have two challenges now. First the schedule and now the energy levels. Hopefully, it won’t cost much or be too many appointments.

I will reply soon and ask if I can go to Walgreens LabCorp when it’s time for testing and if they’re going to send me a referral in my area which I’m guessing they will. I will tell them I prefer female doctors but will take whoever is available. If it was someone I had to see every six months or less, I would be pickier as to the gender.

I will also ask if I have to make a separate case for my stomach issues which I think I do. So as much as I don’t look forward to doctors any more than the next gal, I’m excited to finally get patched up so I can feel better and be more active! One thing at a time though. Thyroid and nails first and then the stomach as long as the stomach doesn’t get worse. It’s a bit annoying right now. I’m still guessing gallbladder. They say you can’t take the oral fungus treatments if you have liver or heart problems and the gallbladder sticks off of the liver, I think. So I might have to mention the pain sooner.

Beginning around 2020, I’ve had a bad feeling for September of this year. I just kept trying not to think about it and keep telling myself it’s meaningless, but with my track record, it’s hard to really believe those words. I think it’s something that will affect us as opposed to the whole world. With my shit luck, it’s probably health-related, but could it be us realizing we have to move because I can’t sleep through the storms? I sure hope not!

Well, that didn’t take long. Shannon from Valleyhead sent me a friend request six hours ago. I’m not surprised. I had a feeling she would if she could. Guess she’s living in New Hampshire. She seems like a nice person and she’s aged well too.

Saturday, January 8, 2022

First week of January and I’ve been tired for 3 days of it. One time due to a nightmare. Another time I woke up having to pee and couldn’t fall back asleep. And another time just because. I didn’t even make it to six hours of sleep last time around, so I’m pretty tired. It’s like my sleep is destined to be cursed no matter what. Had problems my whole life so I can’t imagine it ever changing. If it isn’t noise, it’s my bladder. If it isn’t a nightmare, I’m simply tired just because.

Believe it or not though. The increased waiting time after taking my medication does seem to be helping. I seem to have more energy when nothing fucks with my sleep and I’m down a pound or two. My joints are a little more limber as well. I still can’t believe we can ever get my TSH numbers in the single digits without me having off-the-charts anxiety until and if I ever see otherwise.

I heard back from Galileo and I was glad that they asked for pictures of my nails, which I gladly shared. They still look horrible and I wonder if there’s some kind of infection going on and it might not be due to my thyroid at all.

Anyway, I answered a few more questions and gave them more history.

Tom said they had their car parked in the street next door for a while as if they might be painting or doing something in the driveway. Not circular sawing I hope! He didn’t say anything about that, though. They hung clothes out on their back line too.

I decided I still don’t want to accept message requests on FB, but decided I would accept friend requests just to see what the cat may drag in. Nobody can send a message with that, but I’m curious to see what I might get.

Friday, January 7, 2022

The couple next door filled in the dirt by the pelican and the red and white polka-dotted mushrooms and added what looks like a crane and some other bird. It looks nice. Being so close to us, it’s like they’re decorating for us as well, so I’m glad they didn’t put anything ugly in. The mushrooms are boring but not ugly. I would like to meet them because then I’d feel more comfortable knowing what’s living so close to us but it’s harder to meet people when you’re not out as much. I was out a little more in the other park because it wasn’t humid and I didn’t have this extreme fatigue. I mean, I did, but not this often. Anyway, I hope they’re not outdoors too much and that they stay quiet. Power washing, roofing, and windows are my biggest concern. I don’t see them doing any wild landscaping. Like why would they rip out their grass and have gravel put down or something like that instead? Tom said they have bikes in back and he thought he heard their TV when he was outside but can’t swear to it.

I slept my usual 7 hours and some odd minutes, whereas yesterday I slept almost 10 hours, which may have been part of why I was so tired. It was horrible. I started to feel a blanket of fatigue roll over me earlier but managed to shake it off. Already there are two T’s on the calendar. Six days into the year, and I’ve spent a third of it tired. It’s just before midnight now, but I’m sure I’ll post this just after by the time I get done writing everything and then editing it.

Someone from Galileo replied saying that 14 is still quite high and could be why I’m experiencing these symptoms and my dose could be too low, too.

No shit!

They asked if my dose was adjusted after this reading and I told them about the anxiety I had on a higher dose. I gave them a little back history too and told them about the trouble I had when I first went on 75s and how I had problems the first time I tried 88s. I asked if I should try the 88s again for a few days a week or if they had any other medication they could recommend. I told them about the nail lifting as well.

They also asked me to verify that I had no food or medication allergies. Lastly, they wanted my medical records imported, which was a bitch for us to figure out how to do but I eventually authorized Doctors D, A, and N.

Still have what I hope is just a canker sore on my gum by where my tooth was pulled. It doesn’t hurt or anything, as long as I don’t pick at it.

Despite my memory not being what it used to be, it really is better than most people’s. It frustrates me sometimes how forgetful people can be. I miss Aly, who never seemed to forget a damn thing. She may not have had much of a sense of humor, and she wasn’t always totally honest, but she was very intelligent. At least twice I mentioned having Hashimoto’s to Jessie and yet she asked me if it was Hashimoto’s or if I was simply hypo. I get that when you have a lot going on and there’s more to keep track of, it’s harder to remember things, and I get the brain fog that goes with people our age, but it still gets old always having to remind people of things.

Last night I almost wondered if Andy was high again. I’m sure he would tell me if he slipped up and that he was just tired. He was having insomnia because of drinking coffee too late in his day. It’s just that he was talking a little weirdly. He said he was annoyed by the sound of a circular saw nearby the other day and had to keep reminding himself that it wasn’t fireworks but just a saw.

Now, why would you have to do that? They don’t sound anything alike, so why would you have to remind yourself that a saw wasn’t fireworks?

I suggested getting melatonin or Calms Forte to help with his sleep and he said he happened to have those in his house, what the fuck were they for anyway?

I don’t know the details, but when he visited his brother and sister-in-law in Tampa in 2015, they supposedly said or did some things to him that stole his serenity for one year and two months. That’s what he told me, anyway. Also, he’s been invited to visit again. He doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea and doesn’t want to travel with the virus and all that. I told him he shouldn’t feel obligated to do anything that makes him feel that uncomfortable. But I know how much value people put in biology.

Thursday, January 6, 2022

OK, this is weird. Under People You May Know on Facebook, I noticed Bruce, the realtor who sold us this house, listed as one of the suggestions. The picture looked right and when I pulled up his profile, it confirmed that it was the same Bruce. But I never looked him up anywhere and I never mentioned his full name on Facebook. So how the hell does Facebook know that he was our realtor???

Could he have been suggested to me because he looked in on me? If so, why would he do that? Why would he be that curious much less remember my name? Seriously, is there anything about us that Facebook doesn’t know?

Irma and Dick are here. It was so cool how we could go back and watch our video surveillance and find out when they arrived. They came in at around 3:30, and while we couldn’t see them clearly, the overall size of the couple as they pulled things out of their trunk matched. Plus the fallen blinds are now fixed and there was a light on over there for the first time at night. There’s just enough gap on the side of our blinds and their blinds, and being the same house layout which lines up just right, I could see just enough sliver of light flickering to be able to say they were watching TV. It was lights out at 10:30.

They’re quiet so far and they don’t have a motorcycle and don’t appear to have a dog either. I’m glad nothing bad happened to them after all. I wouldn’t have wanted the place sold to full-timers that might be noisy. I’m just a little surprised they didn’t arrive a couple of months ago and that the people across the street haven’t returned yet.

I just hope they don’t do any loud projects like roofing, replacing windows, or heavy landscaping. Fortunately, most people don’t put much effort into something they only use a few months a year. So unless the roof is leaking or something like that, I don’t think I’ll hear much from them.

On Tuesday, Tom said he could have sworn I heard the landscapers, but they didn’t do this part of the park. Good, because they might have woken me up. Not that I’m not exhausted much of the time anyway, of course.

I decided not to wait any longer so I made a “case” on the medical app. I gave them my thyroid history and told them that I’ve had tachycardia and anxiety on higher doses but that my TSH is high and I’m having a lot of fatigue and struggling with my weight, so I’m hoping for other options. I told them my old PCP recommended a specialist. It’s been three months since I’ve been tested, so I’m sure that’s the first thing they’ll want to do. Not everyone loses weight with normal numbers. This could simply be how I’m meant to be as an older person, and most older people are heavy. But I would really like a chance to find out if this is just the older side of me or just my thyroid talking. I would also really love to have my energy back too!