I am at Friendly’s now. Kevin started off in his usual fucked up nervous mood, shaking and getting all argumentative. He totally trembles with nerves every other time I see him! I’ve never seen anything like it. Does this have to do with the concussion he was hospitalized with? You can really see the nervousness in his hands with the way his fingers curl and uncurl.

Soon, I’m going to Food Mart and maybe Brightwood in Longmeadow. I need to get guinea pig food, cedar chips and a few groceries.

Later…

Well, the fucking male just ran out of gas again for the 4th time. God, I’m sick of his shit! I wish they’d commit him to a fucking loony bin. He’s a sicko! I hope the little nervous bastard eats shit and dies. People wonder why I’m gay? Then again, even if all guys were sweethearts, I’m attracted to women. Period.

I called Tammy, my sister who lives in CT, thinking tomorrow was court when it’s really Thursday. I wonder if she’ll drive up and go with me? She did ask for my lawyer’s name and number, though. I guess she feels better being there and that I’ll say the wrong thing if she’s not. If she doesn’t go I’ll have Mary go, but not the little nervous bastard.

I’m still here in Friendly’s drinking coffee till the little nervous bastard gets back from his favorite pastime - running to get gas. The fucking prick! Maybe he’ll fall and break a leg. Someday someone’s gonna do it for him if it isn’t me. I’m so pissed off now. That little bastard’s lucky I didn’t fuck him up.

I need to change the pig’s cage quite badly and vacuum.

Later…

Shannon came over and I think maybe she’ll be my lucky break. I hope so. I sang for her and played my instruments and she said, “What are you doing sitting around here?”

She says she knows some people and that she’s going to talk to some people about my singing. She says she knows some musicians and knows a girl who was talking about being an agent. She also says I may be her lucky break with the signing. She knows a few girls who need to be tutored. She and her sister are going to post that I’d like to teach signing on the bulletins at STCC.

We are going to be going to work out together from now on. She goes in this direction. That would be great. That way I don’t have to go with the little nervous bastard and take the chance of either getting killed by his erratic driving or him running out of gas. She is to be calling me at around 2:00 or 2:30 tomorrow afternoon. I hope she has some good news. Around 4pm we’ll be going to work out.

Too bad she can’t move in here. She’d be the perfect roommate, but I guess she wants her own apartment.

I called the book club and they said I have some books coming from the Mystery Guild. The other two clubs show nothing.

Later…

Just got through speaking with Mary, Doug and Kevin. Doug said he’d never want to be in the same room with me for physical fear of me cutting his cock off, haha. Good for him.

Can’t wait till I hear from Shannon and to get my books.

Tomorrow morning I’d like to go to the bank and then go to welfare and see if I qualify for food stamps. They’d be nice to have.