Last Saturday went great. Nissan and I got to know each other a lot better. Kevin was impressed although I saw her Tuesday and it was the pits. I fucked up bad and discovered she’d really never want me. I wrote a list of 30 encouraging hints Nissan gave me which I thought were signs of her being interested in me and I showed them to her like a fool. Guess what? She stole them! Must’ve been when I went to the back of the bus. And come to find out all those things weren’t true. It wasn’t until after I got off the bus that I realized she took them. I had asked her if she was going to tell her girlfriend Julie and she said no, but why else would she take them? Obviously to show Julie. She hates me. I know it and I’m petrified about getting on the bus tomorrow. She probably won’t even let me on! And if she does, what if Julie’s there? What if she lies or denies it? She could never want me yet Emily, Nellie and Philip said maybe she took them for herself because she was flattered or so I wouldn’t tell Julie. No way! She wouldn’t take them for her own reading pleasures. I never stood a chance with her and I never will. Even she told me, “I’m spoken for and I’m used to people liking me.” I’m afraid to get on the bus tomorrow, but if I do, I will confront her and ask her what’s going on.