Well, I mailed my police exam application with my waiver fee. The exam’s on October 27th, but where and what time I do not know. Supposedly they’re going to mail a letter with the time and place listed. I sure hope it works out for once and I can truly say that I am really looking forward to this.

I’ve thought about this on and off and of course, I want to sing 10,000 times more, but as you can plainly see I’ve given up music. You just can’t make it without connections, money, and sex and I don’t have money or connections. Of course, sex is out of the question.

But would something like this, full of adventure and excitement, be meant to be any more than I once thought music was? What if they somehow do discriminate against me cuz I look so small and naïve, and cuz of my past? It did say on the instructions that they can dismiss you if they feel they don’t like you or that you’ll be no good. I know I’d be good at it, though, and so do other people who are gonna try to put me down and out big time, but if I get in that academy, well, they’re just not going to succeed.

Later...

Guess what! Early this morning my niece Sarah Elizabeth was born. That’s great, and I love all my nieces, but am I ever going to have one of my own? I doubt it. If I ever do, though, I’d have to abandon my whole family. That means move, get a PO box and a new phone number, etc. I don’t want to do all this till me and Brenda have been together a while and are married and we have the money to move and to start off with. She insists that with both our incomes combined we can easily survive. She’s going on disability, but she’s still gonna drive the cab. So that would be $1,040 of SS and SSI, plus her cab fares, but if I am in the academy at the time or working wherever doing whatever, then I’ll have to work around that. The reason for dumping my family is that if Mom wants to disown me, I’ll have beaten her to it. Also if they pull any shit with the state I’ll be avoiding that, so I can keep my health and also my mental sanity.