I fell asleep at 5:30 PM after being up 21½ hours and of course, almost an hour ago I woke right up. I was kind of hoping I’d sleep till 5 AM. Anyway, guess what I’m doing today at 9 AM? Taking the police exam. I called Boston after talking to Tony today out here on Locust St. during a car accident. He said the people weren’t hurt too bad and that it had to do with insurance and he was tired of supporting the welfare recipients. So, I mentioned the exam to him and some other cop and they said that maybe the test was canceled due to all the layoffs, and to call Boston and check. When I called, I told the woman I never received my notice and she said that they did have trouble with their mailings and asked me for my social security number. I gave it to her and then she read back my name and address and said it was tomorrow morning at 9 AM. It’s at Converse High on State St. They allow you 3 hours for the test, but you’re free to leave when you’re done. There are 100 questions which means I cannot get more than 30 wrong. She said it’ll be 120 days before they mail me my marks. That’s 4 months, unfortunately, and she says there are around 2000 people taking the test. Lastly, she said to bring a birth certificate, a photo ID, and some number 2 pencils. Brenda took me to Shopper’s Drug where she met Emily and Emily gave me the pencils. Well, I bought them, of course. And a pack of cigarettes like a jerk.

I was going to go to Tammy’s tomorrow but Brenda’s got a visit with her kids she can’t cancel and Bill’s here tomorrow and Monday. Maybe Tuesday. Tammy’s gonna be pissed and I understand that and I’m dying to see Sarah, but this test only comes up once every two years.

Later...

It definitely doesn’t look like I’m going back to sleep so I’ll write for a while. I’ve got a CD playing. Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits. It’s pretty good. I like most of the songs on it. Some are boring.

Tomorrow, after the test, I’ve still got to get pig food and a heavyweight bowl for Tigger. I’m getting pretty sick of him either knocking it over or slamming it up against the side of his cage. I’ve got to get food for Gremlin and Shadow, too. Also stamps and paper plates. And it’s also about time to buy another big bail of sawdust. There’s always something to buy. Such as Gloria’s new record.

I think maybe I’ll go hem some more of those pants Kacey gave me.

Later...

Well, I didn’t hem the pants. One pair didn’t quite fit since I gained weight, but I just took my measurements and I’ve gone down an inch since 3 days ago when I started exercising my ass off and taking Slim-Fast. I did, however, hem an old shirt that was almost to my ankles. I brought it up to mid-thigh length. It came out better than I’d thought but I’ll have Brenda check it out to make sure it’s not crooked. I’m not too thrilled with the way it falls but I’ll ask Brenda.

After I take my shower I’m gonna put another coat of nail polish on and I’m not sure yet what I’ll wear. Something casual. I hope after the test and my errands are done that I can catch a couple of hours of sleep so I can go out to the Halloween party at the Pub tonight. I want to wear my new black lace skirt. Part of me hopes Brenda ends up too tired to go so I can observe others without her observing me observe others. But then again we mutually do look at other women and we’re honest with each other. In the long run, Brenda will never have anything to worry about cuz gay women, of course, are a major turn-off to me in general, and it’s against the rules for me to have someone I’m attracted to. Oh well. At least God allows people to be attracted to me which is nice as long as it’s not major sickos. I mean, everyone gets that here and there, but the good thing is, is that as time goes on I’m having an easier time getting better people even if I don’t quite meet my desired standards.

Ok, time for my second coffee, then my shower.

Later...

Brenda dropped me off at 8:30 this morning, and they made everyone who didn’t get their notice to appear for the test go into a room, and they gave us an “appear” card after checking to see if our names were on the list, and also our photo IDs and birth certificates, in which I’ve got to photocopy and mail to Boston.

They had us print and write our names and they compared them with our signatures on our licenses.

There were several butches there and I got stared down good by guys and butches. This Hispanic girl was sitting next to me. I’m not sure, but I think she was gay with the way she gave me this huge smile and waved at me the second I walked in. I sat next to her and we chatted here and there before the test. She urged me to choose South Hadley for 1 of my 4 choices of cities or towns I wanted to work in. My first choice was Springfield, however, and I had no choice cuz you had to pick, for first choice, the place you lived in for the last 12 months. My second choice was East Longmeadow. I would’ve chosen Longmeadow, but it wasn’t listed. My third choice was West Springfield. My fourth choice was Chicopee.

Another thing was that there were two classroom monitors. One man, one woman. The woman constantly stared at me. I caught her once and her face turned bright red. Then after the test, as I was leaving, I could see her grinning to herself with the same red face.

We didn’t start the test till 9:30 and I finished at almost 12:30. I’m not sure whether I passed or failed. There were some tricky questions that I had to go over and over. I’ll know sometime in February. I am anxious though and never have wanted to speed up time so badly in my life. I usually don’t care about time or wish I could stop it and drop dead.

The landlord will be here any minute to fix the heat. Today and all last night I froze my ass off.

I told Tammy I’d be down next weekend and she said she wasn’t mad and that she understood and to think positive about the test.

After the landlord leaves, I hope I can catch a few hours of sleep so I can go out tonight.

I called Philip and told him about the test and he’s happy about it and he asked me to keep him posted. He also told me to call him tomorrow. I called John too, and he was both pleased and proud. Then lastly, I spoke with Andy.