Now I am gonna finish my updating once and for all. I spoke to Tammy on the night of the 6th right before I went to go audition. She’s been very supportive and knows she can trust my judgment. She knows I would not get into a bad situation. One can do this job and still value and respect themselves. I believe sexuality’s a fact of life and I’d rather see a guy go here to get his jollies off, rather than go rape a woman or go to a hooker and continue spreading AIDS. Hookers I have no respect for. I feel sorry for them. Just one year ago or less I sure never thought I’d be doing this. Especially years ago when I did hate myself and was ashamed of my body. I’m never nervous or self-conscious, but I am aware that I still do have some never-ending flaws. Tammy also knows I can’t settle for anything and that I need to save up for a demo. In the meantime, this sure beats housekeeping, babysitting or someplace like McDonald’s.

Since I’ve begun work, I’ve made about $650. I’ve put out money to get started on G-strings, stockings and other outfits. Brandy’s gonna be selling me a dress she doesn’t want. There’s other shit to pay, too. A $10 bar tip, $3 tax, a buck to each of the 2-3 bouncers, food and cab fare.

I’d like to get new 5” heels which I hope to hell I can learn to walk in or get my 2” heels fixed. Maybe I’ll get a belly belt. A lady who sells and makes exotic costumes is to be bringing in a $10 black wrap that’s so cool. So far I’ve gotten two black G-strings. I also have a flowered 1-piece outfit that glows so well on stage cuz of the lighting. Then I have another blue 1-piece with silver studs on it. I also have a gorgeous skin-tight red dress a dancer sold me. It’s plain red with a tank top kind of top. It’s cut way low in back. I also have a maroon silk bra with black lace.

I borrowed a G-string and top. This was lent to me on my first night, but I have not seen this girl yet to return this to her. It’s nothing spectacular either.

We can take everything off, except the G-string. It’s illegal here to strip all the way. This is why my proper title isn’t a stripper. I can be called an exotic dancer, topless dancer, or a go-go-girl, but I prefer exotic dancer.

Later...

I just called the radio station to request For You by the Outfields. I hope they play it cuz I want to record it till I buy the single. There’s another one too, I’m listening for, but I don’t know its title or artist.

I told Tammy last August that I sensed that January would be their best month financially and I was right in two ways. One is that they got their $55,000 settlement from their car accident in 1989. They’re gonna add onto their house. Also, I’ll be helping them out when I can.

The package Tammy sent out was returned cuz the box fell apart. She re-sent it so I should get it any day now.

She asked if she could tell Mom and Dad what I’m doing. I said OK. After she told them she said they think it’s disgusting but they respect my opinion and want me to respect theirs. Fine.

I sent Tammy a letter and helped her with the “asshole” drawing (she tried to draw a picture of an ass, so I drew one for her).

I also told her about a hilarious little trick I played on these people in FL who sent a letter to a Dan H that ended up in my mailbox. They mentioned someone named Claudia, having to have hemorrhoid surgery, etc. 

I wrote back (as Dan) and informed them that me and my boyfriend were fucking happily, Claudia can claw her pussy, sorry about your ass surgery, have Bill screw it, and all kinds of mumbo-jumbo. 

I’ll have to call FL information to see if I can call them and ask if they’ve heard from Dan. Until I get my blocks lifted, I can call long-distance from Andy’s phone and easily pay him.

This feels so weird, yet great. I look at a $30 dress and out of habit, I think I can’t afford it. Then I realize I can! I can turn my heat up, leave lights on and buy all the food I want, and have food delivered. When my lease is up I want to check out a 2-bedroom. Buy more furniture for the extra room. Maybe get a bigger, more powerful microwave. Blow a few hundred in the mall here and there.

I gave $55 to Andy to pick up some old CDs of Linda’s, but he never got the chance. Maybe when he comes home we can do this together. I also want to go clothes shopping at the Merry-Go-Round.

Earlier I gave Kara $25 to get 3 journals as she’s going to the mall tomorrow really early before I wake up. She’s got a great memory, so she’ll never buy one I already have.

She so quickly and easily put in my new paper towel holder I got at Fry’s.

John and she may be dating and they each have daughters and other things in common. She and Ashley came over here and I paged him and he came over. He brought us to Fry’s and was gonna wait in his cab, but after 10 minutes, he came in and joined us. So far, he’s really cool and we had a cool and funny time. Kara and I were cracking up as we were spraying different room deodorizers all over. Due to my allergies, I must get a mild scent and I was spraying them in different directions so I wouldn’t mix them. I commented on how one was really nice and she asked where and was sniffing all over just as this woman came through the aisle. She gave us a very strange look.

I bought her a beer glass, then I realized I could afford to buy a broom and not have to borrow Andy’s anymore. I also got a huge laundry basket as I’m sick of the laundry bag. I got a dustpan that snaps right onto the broom handle. I also got hot oil treatments for my hair, sinus meds, envelopes with roses on them and Band-Aids for any blisters I get from dancing. And food, of course.

I also got these silver, gold, blue, green and red foil star stickers to decorate journals and letters with.

The radio played the song I requested, and I recorded it. They must have caller ID which shows people’s names and numbers cuz the DJ said, “Jodi in Phoenix, thanks for tuning in with us.”

So, after I almost rammed John with the broom handle in the balls accidentally, he got to see the place, then he took Kara home. I gave him $5 even though he never ran his meter.

In the store, we were checking out CDs and tapes. John asked if we’d believe Rod Stewart was his cousin. Well, I don’t see why he’d lie about that, and the eyes were very similar.

Andy, Kara and I went to K-Mart on the 5th. Andy got a $14 Rayon shirt. I got 2 pairs of bright shiny gold and black underwear with thin straps on the sides. Plus, a flowered matching set of cotton panties with a half-shirt. Then I got 8 different colored pens which I’ve been writing with. Blue, green, maroon, purple, pink, orange, aqua and red. Plus I got a pad of unlined paper with colors of deep purple, red, yellow and turquoise.

Right after I was hired at Sha Na Na’s, I ran into Tara in the laundry room. She was so psyched for me. I was also laughing at the fact that she had the same pair of gold and black panties I just bought.

I called Tonya to thank her so much for the idea of dancing. I never would’ve thought of it and now I know why we were meant to meet.