Still no getting online and I probably won’t be able to for a while yet. It’s Saturday night, so there’s a lot of traffic. I have AOL brought up and on my title bar, so I can keep trying here and there.

Andy says he wants to come over sometime to look around for stuff on Stevie on the web.

Oh, great. I mean, I don’t mind him coming over and I’d like for him to visit more often, but I hope this doesn’t become a regular thing. I also hope he’s not constantly asking me, look up this, look up that, cuz then if I can’t find something, I’ve got to bug Tom and I think he has enough shit going on.

Tom says he feels better physically and is psyched about his schedule and feels that’ll really improve our lives. Well, we’ll see. The question is if it does improve our lives - for how long? How long can he go without being sick? Without being tired a lot of the time or having some kind of injury?

He mentioned missing sex and wants that whenever we can find the time for it, but I don’t know. I still don’t like the idea of a part-time sex life, but perhaps it’s better than nothing and I should just take it. Yes, it can cause problems between us, and who knows if I’ll spot again and have to deal with that shit, but it’ll make him happy, so that’s something to think about. Also, I have been adapting to sex in waves over the last year or so, and sex in waves is what this relationship has always been about and always will be about. Well, I told him I agree to have sex here and there, cuz I know it’s what he wants and that it’ll make him happy.

He also says he still wants a kid and that it won’t take a toll on us, etc. We can handle it, he says. Well, here’s where he’s got a problem cuz I can’t give him a child whether I wanted to or not.

He says he’s gonna do up his list for April 1st and that he’s gonna be right on every one this time. Sorry hun, but there’s not a chance in hell of that happening. I know for a fact that I’ll be right on every single one I wrote down. The only one I could possibly be wrong on, but I highly doubt it, is the improved financial situation and that’s cuz every time you get more money, something comes up or breaks, and that money you got goes to that. He says there’ll be extra money for fun stuff and if one of us needs new shoes or something, we won’t have to wait on it. I hope this is true and I think it just may be. As for the other 5 things I saw, though, there’s no way I’ll be on a normal schedule, not smoking, pregnant, or get up the guts to see a doctor when I’m right about not being pregnant, or that he’ll be cumming more than 3 times a month. That’s just totally impossible. There might be a month occasionally where he gets off 4-5 times, but that’s it. All else I said is inevitable and etched in stone, but that’s good, except for the smoking and the schedule.