I ditched the bikini file I had made. Seeing bodies I wish I had really isn’t gonna change how I eat/live one way or another, and they had boring faces, so I got rid of them. I’m a face person, not a body person when it comes to others. It’s my body I care about size-wise and all that, not someone else’s.

I don’t know if we’ll ever have sex again after moving. I’m just not looking forward to the pain and like I said a million times before, I can’t keep starting and stopping every 3-6 weeks like we always have. Also, I said the sex lost its newness and its excitement, not that I didn’t like the sex itself. So, after not doing what became too familiar and predictable for a while, it won’t be boring if we do it again. I think all couples find they have to take a break from sex every now and then to freshen things up. Do I want to change the sex itself? No, cuz I want him to do what he likes and feels comfortable with. We couldn’t, for example, decide to doggie style one day. Going from side to top definitely suited us best. Well, I guess I’ll leave it up to him cuz in this day and age; I can live with or without sex. It’s him that matters to me. It’s him I can’t live without as a whole. His dick is just a small part of him. Well, sort of. His dick is big, actually, but you know what I mean. If he feels he can do it at least once a week consistently and that he needs it, I’ll give it to him, but me, I just don’t need it. I need him.

Although it’s only been 20 days since my hair was cut, both of us noticed how it’s grown back a little. Like half an inch.

A couple of days ago there was a call that said bus something on the caller ID box. They left a hang-up message. It was definitely a business and it had an exchange for the Springfield area, although a different area code. The only one I can think of that had a connection to buses is Larry. For about 15 years he drove charter buses that drove longer distances than just around the city to places like Boston and New York. He drove for Greyhound for a while, but mainly Peter Pan. Well, nothing’s changed. I have nothing to say to him, to his sister, or to his parents.

Today Tom’s gonna call Leona, or whoever’s working today if she isn’t, and tell them we want our $1000 back, cuz the interest rates are too high.

Once the house is listed, he’ll search for land to buy. Also, there definitely won’t be a layover as long as we work with Steven, who’s gonna save us a lot of time and legwork compared to Leona. No wonder I never vibed a layover.

This changing from Leona to Steven has turned out to be a good thing in many ways. I can make some changes to the house easier now. The more I think about it, the more I think vinyl in the dining area will look funny cuz of the way that area is laid out. If we had had kids, that’d be different, but he never eats at the table, and if I use common sense and be careful, I’m sure I can avoid messy spills. I also want the living room wired for a ceiling fan, and to see if once again, we can go back to getting just a shower stall in the second bath.

I cleared a few pieces of old furniture that can go to the alley for bulk pickup, although I still say that most of what we put out there will be gone long before the truck comes to haul it. I started to move the little shelves I once used as a paper station to put the pig on, and thank God I didn’t cuz it fell apart. Meanwhile, I cleared the two old desks in the back room and put the pig on the floor. The mice are on a shelf just inside the back room where we used to keep the microwave. The rats are in their usual spot by the back door. Lastly, I took what I was using for a night table out of the bedroom and then stacked two boxes by the bed to use as a makeshift night table. On it, I put one of my stereo speakers, my lamp, a spot for my book, a coffee mug, and my inhaler. I do have a box of mints and some hair elastics there, too.

Yesterday, I saw a big silver Jeep next door for a while. Otherwise, I’ve been blessed enough not to have seen much of them lately cuz I’ve been on days. I’ll be asleep during tonight’s and tomorrow night’s turmoil over there, so during their weekend ruckus, I’ll definitely have the stereo going. Louder than usual, too.

Later...

The impatient little fuck that had to honk 3 times just pulled up in its van. In the sunlight, I could see that it was more of a white and dark reddish-orange striped van than gray and maroon. It was here to pick up Chester. Again, what’s wrong with the van and silver car? My best answer is that the van’s busted, and the people with the silver car sleep late and don’t trust Chester or Deb taking it out themselves.

Just 10 more days to go with the braces. And yes, my front teeth have straightened some more. They’re not perfect but they’re plenty good enough.