One month down, 5 more to go. Only 2 if my vibe’s accurate.

Officer Means is on now. That name’s even weirder.

Tom sent me a really nice letter, along with a mouse and snake picture. He covered our options in the letter, too.

One is to pursue the fact that the courts didn’t provide me with an interpreter, but we’d need a lawyer for that because it’s complicated. Also, if we won, there’s a good chance they’d just recharge me and start the sentence all over again.

We could also try getting the sentence reduced because all I did was send the journal, not the threatening letter. Besides, what I sent is laid out like a journal, not a letter. Any idiot can see its format is like a typical journal would be. The problem with this, though, is that after reducing my sentence for the journal, they could charge me for this bullshit letter, and I could get additional time.

I think our only hope is to hope I don’t get a monster PO and work with them. Better yet, hope they’ll work with us. As Tom said, part of my probation terms is the 6 months here, so maybe Mary can adjust that, although I won’t count on it. Tom’s going to write and send her a letter along with mine. To try to avoid my having to work full-time out of the house, he’s going to see if we can get into farming. Now that would be cool. I wouldn’t mind being a cowgirl, and this is something we discussed doing anyway.

But life is never what I plan or want it to be. I’m just so fucking sick of other people telling me how to live my life! Tired of being told what to do, where to go, etc.!

Also, and I didn’t know this, my 6 months here is part of my 3-year probation term, so I’d have 2½ years of probation once I get out. Even that is an eternity and totally ridiculous, even if I had sent the fucking letter. The whole fucking thing is so asinine!

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Officer Rogers is on now. She’s short black and fat. I thought she was Johnson at first.

Tom told me during yesterday’s visit that he plans to send about 10 letters to various people/places, the mayor being one of them. God, I don’t know what I’d do without him! I’m forever in his debt no matter what happens. No one’s ever loved, understood and stuck by me like this!

I guess he’s been studying my type of hearing problem. Here are some quotes from his letter: I am sure that your hearing is what has caused many of the emotional problems you have encountered. Let me explain that better, the things that your parents and others did to you as a child were horrible, but it was the stresses caused by the hearing problems that really put you in an unfair position. Many people have bad parents and bad things that happen to them, but you had a huge disadvantage because of your ear. Unfortunately, it has only been recently that they made the connection between hearing problems and various “nervous” conditions. Like so many other things, society is quick to label people “crazy” and drug them up when there is really a physical problem that needs to be dealt with. You had to deal with this stupidity of people all of your life. I’m very proud of you every time I think about all of the things you had to overcome to get to where you are as an adult. As smart as I am, I don’t know if I could have done it.

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Another yummy chicken dinner. We had ice cream too, and it was way better than plain vanilla. It was chocolate with chunks of chocolate in it.

If today could be like it was every day, it wouldn’t be so bad here. I shit after lights out last night and slept better than usual. We all slept till around 2:00, although we had to get up, of course, for various things along the way – breakfast, our hour out, etc.

I put in a tank as soon as I got back in this giant display case. Maybe they can help me sleep even better than antihistamines can and maybe I can see Kara.

If only, if only I’d taken Deanna next door with me! That way I’d never have gotten stuck with nutty Melinda or shooed out of the other cell for Hermy, and I could’ve at least had the same celly till February. I could live just fine with Deanna. She sleeps most of the time, anyway. She gave me a couple of sharp pencils and I gave her some conditioner. I don’t know that I’ll ever buy conditioner again here, but the hair protein is great.

A lady from classification came by today to talk to the new girl next door and Madeline. Madeline’s time is up in two weeks. She wants to go to A400 to avoid the crowded dorms. The lady, though, says she has no say in where we go from here. When I spoke to her, she told me she doesn’t deal with sentenced people, and suggested I put tank orders in to “workbox” and “classification.” I wrote that I don’t feel comfortable returning to the tents because I’m nervous around so many people, and to please put me in A400 where there are fewer people. However, I’m virtually certain they’re not going to put me there. They’ll tell me it’s either here or the tents, but I already made up my mind. I’m sick of Ad-Seg and I’m returning to the tents. I don’t know how I’ll survive more than a week of it with my sleeping disorder, but at least I know, thanks to Officer Rule, who I’ll be happy to see again, that I can always rePC myself. The 2nd time around has to be for 90 days. I’m going to have to re-PC anyway, when it starts getting hot if I’m going to be here the whole 6 months.

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Lora and I just made an awesome trade, since I know my only other choice is going to be to go to the tents. She had a lock from when she was in the tents, which cost $8. She’s going to sell it to me at half price, which means I’ll be buying her $4 worth of commissary.

Those fuckers are still offering me Theo – damn!

I was just chatting with Madeline, who I feel more comfortable with, now that I’m getting to know her, even if she’s still obnoxious with not much of a sense of humor, either. You could say we both annoy each other. I annoy her with all my questions, and she annoys me with her selfishness. She was screaming through the vent at the people downstairs and starting to give me a headache. When I got on her ass about it, she was like – I was here first. So I let her know I wouldn’t respect anyone who didn’t respect me and wouldn’t hesitate to yell out the door to people if I wanted to while she was sleeping, but she later apologized.

I can’t wait till Lora leaves on the 7th, although I may be gone before then, depending on whether or not I stay in Ad-Seg. She’s way too loud.

Speaking of Lora, she got a “homosecting” write-up because a DO noticed a red splotch on her tit that they thought was a hickey. This was a while ago. I think it’s wrong to forbid inmates from playing around with each other. I mean, who is it hurting? They can’t impregnate each other, so what’s the big deal as long as it’s mutual?