Yesterday we walked to a Laundromat we’d never been to before which is right by Fred Meyer. It was a long walk. About a half-hour each way. I felt a little strain in my left hip and a lot of strain in my left ankle. In fact, my ankle is still killing me. At first I thought it was age because I used to walk to school in Longmeadow, and of course Valleyhead made us go on walks, and I was fine. But then I realized that Tom has no problem and he’s 8½ years older. He says it’s just a case of me using muscles I don’t normally use. I guess that’s why variety in exercise is so important. He went through this when he first started riding his bike, but now his muscles are getting used to it.

It drizzled on us all the way and was even cold at times despite the heavy jacket and gloves I wore. I was like, what’s wrong with this picture? What’s wrong with it is that it’s May and I’m still fucking cold! I can’t wait to get out of this state. Especially since there’s snow on the ground right now! Snow in May? That is so fucked up! Nonetheless, it was good walking weather, and the blooming flowers and cherry and apple trees were pretty to see. They seem to really like tulips and daffodils here. Meanwhile, it’s been pouring since I got up 3 hours ago. I’m glad it never rained hard on us.

Tom had to wait a little while for a washer, but it only ran for 32 minutes, so it wasn’t too bad. We never bothered to dry the clothes. Instead, I hung them around here when we got back.

While he was washing the clothes, I got a few things we needed at Fred’s, including the other doll in the My Scene series I wanted which was on sale for $10. This one’s Barbie and she’s wearing purple. She came with a spare outfit which is just about the nicest Barbie-n-friends outfit I’ve got. It’s in the top 5 anyway. The dress she has on is a purple satin dress that goes over one shoulder and has an angled hem. It’s sheer at the waist too, making it look like two pieces from a distance. Her spare outfit is a pink metallic top and a black skirt with zigzag stripes of pink glitter. Her shimmering black shawl makes a great halter for the Tonners.

Anyway, I’m glad I did the walk, as sore as I am. It was fun and it was good to get out and get exercise and fresh air.

On the way back we stopped at a convenience store for snacks and he got a lottery ticket that won $7.

The lady next door not only didn’t have company over the weekend but she was gone for most of it. Can’t complain about that!

I’ve been having a lot of nights where I only sleep for 6 hours. As long as I don’t get too tired, I’d love to be able to sleep for only 6 hours. It’d help me maintain a schedule tremendously.

Although we are going to keep our eyes open in case there’s a hell of a deal that may come along, we’re thinking we may just stay here till we can get out of this damn state, and hope for the best along the way. That would mean the neighbors staying put and not being replaced with nightmares, or becoming nightmares themselves. Meanwhile, we’re not locked into a lease, so if it gets bad here, we’ll split, even if it sets us back a bit. I’ve lived enough places in my life that were a nightmare, so I won’t put up with any shit here. I just hope I won’t have to and that we can go straight to rural Sacramento from here, skip the motels, etc. That may be asking for too much, but if we can at least stay here till we leave the state, then that’d be one last move to have to make along the way. I just wish I had more singing privacy and could blast my speakers. Oh well. I can make do as I have been for another year or a little more. I just hope it doesn’t end up taking us a few years to get out of here. We still have to deal with my teeth either way, and his shit of a mom isn’t going to drop dead anytime soon. She won’t go till we’re settled in California and not as bad off as we are today. My vibes still say she’ll be 86-87, and she won’t even hit 82 till August.

Time to go do my daily sweeping!

Later…

The Phoenix and Tempe letters to Marilyn have been returned as “undeliverable as addressed.” What? Does this site print wrong addresses or something? The Scottsdale one is still out there, so I’ll just hope she got that one, though I highly doubt she did. Same with the sick black bitch. Yeah, I found her. I finally found her. That’s real fucking bold to allow your address to be listed after you got someone thrown in jail. That’s wanting to be killed for it! I doubt she had the brains to think of that, though. If anything she was hoping I’d start up with the journals again so she could get me thrown in jail a second time. But still, could you bait yourself like that after doing what you did? I couldn’t. I’d be too scared to and I don’t usually scare too easily.

Anyway, I sent a quick note to 3 different addresses, one being in Surprise, compliments of the user in Florida. I used some of those postage-paid envelopes I was supposed to send to her friend. At least this time around, associating with her paid off, but just the fact that she hasn’t written and won’t even do me the favor of connecting Hope and me after all I’ve done for her goes to show how truly selfish she is, like most people in this world, or so it seems.

The note was brief and meant as a little scare-tactic, even though I knew it’d be short-lived since I couldn’t possibly have the blessing of doing what I said I was going to do, and that was to sue her and her cop friend for setting me up. Just for her to know I hadn’t forgotten her and knew where she was (assuming any of these addresses were current) was what I was out for. Besides, I promised myself I wouldn’t let what they did scare me from exercising my right to free speech, and that’s exactly what I did. No threats, no racial slurs, just my constitutional right to speak my mind. Meanwhile, if the black pig wants to put time, money and effort into hunting my ass down through Tom’s social security number or his family, I’m ready for him. Yes, this time I’m ready for him, and in the end, I can promise just about anyone that he’ll end up saying, “You know, I am so sorry I ever bothered to find that girl!” if he ever does have the balls to find me. It’ll depend on how suicidal he is. Some people have death wishes, that’s for sure, because cop or no cop, finding me would be a definite death sentence for this mother-fucker. He’d have to make something up, though, because after learning all I have about the laws, thanks to them, nothing I did could possibly call for grounds to come after me. I even handled the letters and envelopes with gloves and used tap water to seal the envelopes, so if they came after me, it’d only be because they hate white Jews as much as I hate blacks.

In the end, I know God made sure none of those letters got to her because they would shake her up, and we know how God not only loves blacks these days but also loves to protect anyone who’s fucked me over, so I’m sure she never got any of them. If I’d been dumb enough to write something they could get me on, then yes, He’d make sure she got one of them then. But if all it could do is piss her off or get her all worried, then no. Her feelings are much too important as opposed to my welfare. Oh, and of course I wrote no return address, so if they ever noticed the Oregon postmark if they got any of them, who knows?

Did I tell Tom? No way! I secretly mailed them from the next block that has an outgoing slot on their boxes. Well, I started to, but then I ran into the mailman as he was doing our own box and he took them from there. I’d never tell him even a decade from now, that’s how paranoid he is. If he knew about it now, he’d still be paranoid they were going to come after me when he was 80. I’m paranoid, too. I mean, these were very determined and obsessive people after all. But life must go on and we must live our lives as we see fit. We can’t let sickos like this scare us and bully us out of taking a stand for ourselves and doing what’s right. I believed firmly that I was doing the right thing by contacting the Arizona Republic and the sicko, and so I did. I don’t know if my email was read any more than if my letters got to the sick bitch, but I did what I felt was best and now I can move on a little easier. Not as easy as I could if they were either made to pay for wronging me or killed, but at least a little easier.

Starting late in my day yesterday, my ankle got better, but both hips have been on fire ever since. I still don’t see how I can get this sore just from walking. Had I walked 20 miles, or run, or gone by bike, then yes, I should be sore.

I see so many pros and cons of staying versus renting a house. I know we’d be taking a gamble either way because we can’t know for sure that it’ll stay quiet here until we can get out of this damn state, nor do we know if it’ll be quiet in a house. Or stay that way if it at least starts off quiet. Although we’re unsure of what’s going to happen, and although my vibes say we’re not giving notice on the 1st, I know there’s a slight chance I could be wrong, so I guess I’ll do a pros/cons list. Sometimes it helps to see them written out, though I know that can still be deceptive if you have a few small pros versus one huge con.

The pros of staying are spacious rooms, good neighborhood, good neighbors (for now), close to stores, each room has its own heater, good shower/toilet pressure, would save money by not moving unless he could find someone reliable or we moved close enough to here to chance taking the truck, bedroom is blocked from street, busy street, garage. That’s a total of 10 pros.

The cons of staying are wet/moldy windows, electric heat, far from work, connected to next door which calls for banging/music, the dog next door, neighboring duplex too close, next door’s doors, expensive, no vent in the bathroom, no self-cleaning oven or self-defrosting fridge, no dishwasher, can’t send/receive mail at the door, no singing privacy, can’t blast speakers. That’s 14 cons.