Got a letter from Mary. She said she was amazed at all the mistakes the publisher pointed out because she thought my book was top-notch. Also, it discourages her from the thought of getting her own book published, though she did have her lawyer copyright it. She agrees it’s at least good to know we can write for fun and not have to have the pressure of perfection put on us. She said that as always, she’d love to read anything I’ve written, so I sent her my last book which isn’t that long.

She’s now talking about possibly being in for 3 more years. The prosecutor’s going to push for the max which is 10-15 years in prison, though she doubts he’ll win. They’re moving to that large dorm they’ve been building next month, but her address will be the same. I’ll bet she’s dreading it big time! It’ll be so tent-like.

She thought the sweeping and winning of the shoes were cool. The shoe people say they still haven’t received them from their warehouse, but that I’ll get them as soon as they do.

She’s also now in direct touch with José which I was glad to hear. Not just because I’m happy for her, but because that keeps them off my ass with the favors. I guess he got permission from the warden by letting them know that Mary’s his fiancée.

She said she was glad things are better for us and that she hopes I can one day strike a truce with God due to the good things I’ve had in the midst of small bad things, but as I told her, I’ve had more than “small bad things” happen to me in my life. Try tons of horrible biggies! If I’d had a few bum raps in life, that’d be one thing, but I truly believe with all my heart that my life has been rather extreme when it came to the negatives in it. It was not right, not fair, and I did not deserve it. Not what I got as a child, not what I got as an adult, none of it. However, it does make the good times all the more wonderful. No doubt about that! Still, I don’t know about a truce since for every blessing I’ve had, I’ve had a million curses to go with it, but I do appreciate how much better we’re doing. Oh, how I do appreciate it! Words cannot describe the stress it takes off of us, though we still have a full plate to deal with. I’ve got the stress of being sandwiched in by what can sometimes be noisy neighbors. Then there’s finding a house to rent and saving up to get out of state, etc.

It’s to be in the low 90s for the next 4 days, so maybe that’ll keep dogs and people indoors more often. Next door was quieter yesterday, but the dog’s still spending half the day outdoors. It may’ve only been 4 hours yesterday, but that’s enough. I woke up hot in the middle of my sleep at 8 PM and was contemplating getting up to turn the AC on when I heard it bark loud and clear over the fan and the sound machine. It made me wonder how I’ve managed to sleep through it in the past. I wondered the same thing when I was just going to sleep one day and heard them edging. The mowers aren’t too loud, but the edger is. So that time I got up to pee and went back to sleep to what I thought was the dog barking, obviously wasn’t. It’s amazing how horrible a job the fan does of blocking sounds in an elevated structure, versus one built on a concrete foundation. Fans roaring, sound machines blaring, yet I still hear everything in this place! I suppose that’s one reason God won’t let us move to a place with a cellar.

Tom’s going to get overtime this week and next, but that still doesn’t tell us if we can give notice in August or not. I guess that if we’re willing to take whatever we can get, and I am since I know anything we could get will have to be noisy, we should be able to line up a place to move into in September as long as they don’t want last month’s rent, along with first month’s and a deposit.

Later…

Good. After leaving the dog out for 3 hours and leaving it to go off at the cats twice, Patty just pulled out. No one’s over there either, and the dog’s inside. They were doing some kind of construction work on the corner, so she had to wait a few minutes to get out. Hopefully, when she returns in 5 minutes, she’ll have to wait even longer to pull in. By then I’d like to think it’d be too warm for the dog, at least in her opinion, to toss it out back. I thought this was supposed to be an indoor dog that she’s always with when she does leave it out for long periods of time. This is obvious bullshit. I think she’s leaving her back door open so it can come and go as it pleases because I see it back there, then it disappears, then it’s back, and so on and so forth. I definitely have to stay on days till we move. Especially if this is to be a regular thing, and until October it probably is. And Mary hopes I can strike a truce with God? Just His having me live with other people’s noise year after year is enough to turn me off of that idea. Meanwhile, the rest of his family and mine can live it up in peace and always be nice and comfy financially while they’re at it.

Right now all I want to do is give notice! We don’t need lots of choices, especially expensive ones. The sooner we hit California, the sooner he can get a job with benefits and climb the ladder to success till some asshole lays him off or fires him and he has to start all over again cuz God loves to kick us down once we get up. The sooner we can buy a house, too! So no, the more I think about it, the more I think a longer stay in a quieter place isn’t the way to go. Let’s just give the evil above what it wants, re-sandwich ourselves in the city, but in a house, and then get out of this shitty state! Besides, it’s only gonna be way noisier down there so I guess this is good practice for me to build back up to the Phoenix-like noise I’ll be in for down there.

Someone said they got a prize a year after the sweep ended! And they didn’t even know they won till they got it. Some say they’ve swept for years and have only won a couple of things while others say they’ve won lots of big prizes. It all comes down to fate. If God continues to not want us to have much money, then I won’t be allowed to win big. Since I’m so worthless, I hope they do give him a good raise, but I don’t even see a buck’s raise, let alone the two bucks he’s hoping for.

Later…

Oh no! God, please don’t do this to me. I know you hate me, but please, please not a carbon copy of what I went through with Bev! There are at least 3 kids out back from what I can see, ranging from ages 5-10.

As they were pulling in, Patty left the dog barking at the back door. I called out her name and she apparently got the dog just as I went around to see what distracted her, though it was back out with the people in no time.

Finally fed up with listening to these people scream and bang (though there was more screaming than banging because they were outside for the most part), I said to myself, “Why should I be the quiet one? No one’s quiet for me.” So I cranked my stereo up and did some singing.

These people have to be out-of-towners and planning to stay overnight. If they were locals, then why haven’t I seen them before? And why was she hang-drying throw pillows? And I thought it was stressful living with her before it warmed up! At least then the dog wasn’t out for hours at a time, the TV wasn’t blaring, and she never had kids over. I’m sick of this shit! I’m really sick of it! Everywhere I fucking go I have to deal with this shit and hear every move that others make! Thanks, God! Thanks a lot!