When I look into the near future, such as the next 6 months, a smile comes to my face when I think of all our shopping plans, and I look forward to it. When I think long-term, however, I just want to cry. Or scream. Or both. I feel like our only long-term choices are to stay here and freeze for many more years till we can come up with enough money to buy a rural house in Sacramento, or get out of here faster, but be stuck back in Phoenix, so to speak. Back in the midst of a chaotic, always rocking city. Unless I win big time, I see no way out of having to go through the thorns before we can get to the rose. Meaning, we’re going to have to start off in the city where we’re either attached to loud, rude and obnoxious neighbors or at least close enough to feel like we are before we can get out of the city if we’re even meant to be outside of it. I’m still afraid that even if we could make it back into a rural area, something up there would just yank us by the throats and drag us back to the city yet again.

All I can do for now is hope no one comes to run us out of here and that we leave this house when we’re ready to.

I’m also looking forward to ordering the mannequin less than a week from now! It’s so hard to believe that it’s actually going to finally become a reality! I’m glad, however, that I didn’t get one 5 years ago. Not just because of all the moving, but because they didn’t seem to have any for under $400, and the faces weren’t as nice as they are now.

I decided that not only will I never write to Paula again unless I hear from her, but no more letters to Mary either until she writes me. And I still have 20 pages of the book they returned to send to her, too. I’m just sick of the one-sided friendships and pen-pals. If Paula wasn’t going to send a few bucks towards her stuff, she could’ve at least sent a letter confirming the package. She’s just so damn selfish! Why are the simplest of things so damn hard for some people??? As for Mary, she only writes regularly when she’s got favors to ask of me, but since I put my foot down on that, I rarely hear from her. Some friends I’ve got, huh? Well, when and if I ever hear from them again I’ll wait a few months myself before I respond and let them wonder just what the hell’s up with me if they ever do such a thing.

It’s been Maricopa-windy today. I’ve never seen anything like it in Oregon until today. It’s cool to hear all the wind chimes going berserk. At least the snow is just about gone.

Tom assured me that abortion can’t become illegal and explained to me how Roe vs. Wade protects women’s rights, etc. The problem with this damn country is that it’s 80% Christian/Catholic, and most of them simply aren’t like Mary who will express their opinions but will still allow others to be who they are. She’s no conversion freak. Sometimes I wish we were in some other country. Most other countries are of other religions and they think it’s wrong to try to get others to convert. They let others be who/what they are. Yet other countries don’t have luxury items and do all the shopping we do. If there’s one way and one way only that I can relate to my so-called “fellow” Americans it’s that I’m just as materialistic. Hey, I love stuff! If I didn’t know any better I’d seriously believe Dureen O was anything but Jewish! That bitch sure was one hell of a pushy control freak, but that’s why I don’t associate with her on top of her negative, abusive, hypocritical ways. Perhaps she was Christian in her last life to have had such a be-like-me personality.

Meanwhile, people will continue to accept and praise people like our lovely little crap rapper stars that kill people more often than most of us pee. That’s not even real music or talent. They’re just not true artists. All they are is a bunch of glorified gangsters. No, “ganstas” since they can’t talk right.

I still don’t know what irks me more – those who go out of their way to be like others, or who go out of their way to be just the opposite. I know I can’t stand anyone other than gays, Asians and Indians. Priests and pastors and other church-associated people make me sick. When they aren’t busy preaching bigotry, they’re molesting children.

Tom says it’s just a test case and reminded me that South Dakota’s such a cold place where nobody goes but the religious whackos, and therefore you can do crazy things like this in places like that, but that there’ll be a backlash and the liberals will overthrow them soon enough and that most places would never do such a thing. Especially since Wade vs. Roe says it’s a crime to stop women from having abortions that aren’t late-term. He assured me that women won’t lose their rights. I hope not because if they started making abortion illegal in more and more places, women would eventually lose their rights to birth control too, and a whole lot of other rights.

I think if anything that it should be the other way around and that they should be ordering forced abortions and sterilizations for crackheads, violent criminals and abusive people like Doe & Tammy. I still don’t think it’s all about whether or not it’s murder. That’s part of it, yes, but I think it’s also about control. If people can influence other people’s lives, they will. So if they want to control people then they should consider preventing babies being born to the wrong people.

They should bomb SD and show them what can happen to those who try to mold others according to their standards. That’d really scare them and make them think twice!