Today was Tom’s 49th birthday. He’s in bed now. I wish it could’ve been a more exciting day for him, but it was a typical day of work and all that.

I have to wonder about that sick selfish bitch down in Phoenix. Did she ever think of her son today for even just a fleeting moment? I doubt it. I really do.

Other than having to deal with spiders, all has been well or at least the same.

Another day of record heat. Redding hit a record too, of 117º. Their previous record was 111 and that was years ago. Today, though, they were hotter than Casa Grande. What with the way it’s so cold here for so long, you wouldn’t think it was capable of getting this hot! It was a scorcher today, and it was so weird having it be hotter outside than inside like it usually was in Arizona, when I stepped out to grab the mail.

I still can’t lose weight and I still don’t know if it’s because it needs to be starved off, or is just a permanent part of me no matter what. I know one thing for sure and that’s that it makes me not want to exercise or continue dieting, but I will because I like to be in shape and I like to save money. I should at least be grateful that I can maintain my weight. Some people can’t even do that much. I guess the only way to find out if I can still lose weight would be to starve myself, but I don’t know if I could ever bring myself to do that. Not as a secure adult without the low esteem of a child whose mother constantly taunts it about its weight/appearance. Maybe I’ll skip the food next grocery day and just get my vitamin-rich shakes. They give me good energy, and if I’m to starve myself to find out what’s going on here, I’ll need it.

Another thing I know for sure is that my ear has been much better overall since summer kicked in full force, so there’s another reason to dread the winters right there.

Got up in the late afternoon and listened to her and her company slam doors half a dozen times. Then she appeared to stop by the dumpster on the way out from what I could see when I peeked out to see what was going on.

Ah, getting backed up in trash?

She left at 3 AM last night and returned 45 minutes later. If she wasn’t going to see other disabilities, then I’d say she was definitely out on a binge, probably loading up on junk food from Circle K.

Today was pretty mild as far as stereos went, so that’s good. Haven’t heard any barking either. Just a few stereos, some without AC and some no doubt with it who felt the extra attention was worth sweating for. We’ve been having record highs in the mid-90s when it should be about 80º now.

I decided that around September I’ll write Mary and say that I haven’t received any letters from her since the not-so-nice letter she sent for our anniversary, and then also claim to have gotten letters returned to me for no reason at all, that contained no contraband whatsoever, then be done with her for good. I knew I shouldn’t have taken her back into my life, and I don’t care what stories she never gets to read. She’s just too fragile for me. I’m not going to sit here and defend and explain myself to her every so often. Besides, I still dread the day she gets released, whenever the hell that may be. It isn’t that I can’t speak up and put a stop to her pestering me. I did it with her in jail. It’s just that I don’t want the hassle in the first place. Meanwhile, by making her think the jail pigs are blocking our correspondences (and their taking 2 weeks to give her my letters will make it all the more believable), I feel I’d be doing her a favor, as opposed to openly dumping her. I don’t hate her or anything, I just don’t wish to carry on the friendship. She’s smart, but she’s also just way too naïve, defensive and eggshell-like. It’s coming up on the 26th, so perhaps in a week, she’ll get my response to my wonderful anniversary letter.

Tom has continued to show zero interest in me sexually, and of course, I have no interest in him either. That means I could do one of three things. I could leave him, I could see women on the side, or I could do absolutely nothing about it. Well, there’s no way in hell I’d ever leave such a wonderful person who’s loved and accepted me like no other, and whose worst fault was teasing me about having a baby back in Phoenix, being a procrastinator, and being a slob. He may still be a slob at times, but he’s way improved on the procrastinating, and well, it’s kind of hard to promise someone a child they not only couldn’t conceive if he was willing to squirt in them but who hasn’t wanted one in years anyway, all for what would be a one or two-night stand every year or two. And of course these would all have to be with women who wouldn’t want me for anything more be it because I was too short, too feminine, etc. Or because I didn’t smoke, drink, drive, have a career, or the ability to keep a schedule. Women were never meant to be and nothing will ever change that, but I could never bring myself to have sex with just any woman either. Meaning, I couldn’t blindly reach out via some online dating site any more than I could return to gay bars if there is any such thing in Klamath Falls. Besides, I still think most people, gay or straight, who go to bars or seek out dating services are bad news overall. It would have to be someone I met unexpectedly and miraculously had a mutual attraction for, but for someone who lives the sheltered life that I live, or at least who tries to when she’s not being forced to go to jails or funny farms, that’d be kind of hard to do. Especially since I know God would only see to it in the end that we never got together. So that leaves me with no choice but to do the last of the three – nothing. Nothing but live with and accept the fact that I’ll never have sex again. Oh, I could have it if I asked for it, but a woman shouldn’t have to “ask” her husband for it no matter what she looks like, how old she is, or what’s going on in life. Actually, I’d have to more like beg for it than ask, and well, asking is one thing, begging is another and I’m not going to be reduced to that. I don’t care to be the man 100% of the time by always being the one to initiate sex, to get off, etc. It makes no sense to ask someone to get me off who doesn’t want to participate when I can have my vibrating tongue do just that! Still, I have to wonder for the millionth time, why oh why did God curse me so when it comes to sex with nothing but uglies, sexual misfits and head-players??? Was I some sort of sick sexual predator in a previous life or something?

He says he wants to stay up later so we’d have time together to do God knows what, yet all he does is what he usually does when he’s home and awake – watches TV or plays on the computer. Oh well. At least I’m good at entertaining myself, and he did start ripping the first season of Charlie’s Angels. Hopefully, they’ll mean it when they say they plan to release season 3 on July 4th.

He also ordered some thin sheets of plastic we’re going to experiment with to make doll covers, then as soon as he gets a money order for it, along with the rent and water bill, he’ll mail off my order to the Incense Rack. I chose to do it by mail because they had more scents listed in the flyers they sent with the incense I won than online. When I asked the Stick Man about this he just said that his son will be overseas for two years. What that has to do with why he doesn’t have as many scents listed online, beats me. Anyway, I’ll be getting 100 3-packs and will have that variety to look forward to. Right now I just have the 3 scents I won and am almost out of oil altogether. This will hold me over till Silk Splash gets their act together, which doesn’t look like it’ll be anytime soon. If not I’ll just order from SOS.

I’ve been doing surprisingly well on my diet since quitting the Claritin. It was just those first 3 days that were hard. That’s how it usually is. Anyway, I’ve been doing well and have been surprisingly regular too, but as usual, I’m not losing any weight. Just saving money, though I have lost a couple of pounds. There’s adapting and then there’s adapting, so I don’t know if I could condition myself to have under 1000 calories a day which is what I’d need to do to lose more weight. At least I think I’d lose more if I went that low, but maybe not. Some people just don’t lose weight.

Summer’s now in full swing with highs above normal. It’s a little costlier having to run the AC, but it’s backed the dogs off and even the stereos because they have to shut their windows to run their ACs.

Tom’s been doing overtime again, but I don’t know for how long.

Got a couple of surprise wins today too, only this time one of them was pretty cool. The boring one was a stopwatch, but the cool one was from Oprah Magazine which contained assorted goodies. There were some snacks, perfume and lotion samples, pens, a small pillow, socks, a serving tray and a few other things. I’d say it was about $50 - $60 worth of stuff. The only thing we couldn’t use was the dog treats. Tom will take it to work to give to anyone who owns a dog. Well, if there’s anyone there who owns a house, then they own dogs, too.

Tom’s racking his brains trying to come up with some sort of device that would damage the stereos as they go by, but I doubt God would be kind enough to let him figure something out. He wants us to deal with noise. Still, he’s trying to think of some kind of signal he could send out that would overload the speakers or blow the fuse. Dogs should be easier to deal with, he said, and reminded me that they have devices that send out sounds that humans can’t hear, but that dogs can and these are highly annoying sounds. They’re set to be activated when the dog barks to get it to realize, hey, when I bark, it hurts.

Oh, how wonderful it’d be to have something that’d kill these stereos every time one drove by, stop dogs from barking, and even damage the vocal cords of kids, since sooner or later I’m sure those will be a problem again, too!

Today was quiet overall, but once we got down to the every few minutes thing with the fucking stereos after 4:00, I threw the headphones on.

Got a couple of surprise wins today. One was a financial book. I don’t know if that’ll do us any good, but I also got a complete season of a popular cartoon series, so that will hopefully get us a little more.

I’ve stopped the Claritin again now that I know how outrageously expensive it is. I didn’t realize that it was costing a little over a dollar a day. Tom says it’s no big deal if I feel I need it again, but I hope I won’t and that I can deal with the hunger. Tom and I started a diet last week and he’s already lost 6 pounds, but as we know, God favors man. This means that because women retain water and fat more easily, I’ve only lost 1. I’m going to do it for 3 more weeks just to show Tom he’s wrong in saying everyone can lose weight. No, everyone cannot lose weight. Oh, I’ll lose 2-3 more pounds, but that’s as far as it’ll go. I simply don’t have the metabolism to lose a significant amount. Anyway, the Claritin still interferes with my sleep, causing me to wake up several times, so like I said, I hope I’m not too much hungrier. The stuff doesn’t always suppress my appetite anyway.

Although it’s still quieter than Phoenix and even the duplex, we still have our noisy moments around here, particularly between 4 PM - 10 PM on weekdays. The canal dog has backed off a bit lately. It seems to be at its worst when the temperature is in the 50s and 60s.

We were talking about soundproofing the walls and floors someday (unless we ever live where houses are built on concrete slabs like they were in Phoenix), and while it may be nice to be able to do that, no one should have to live that way. Besides, it’d cost so much damn money that by the time we could afford it we’d be eligible for a retirement community anyway.

After playing the phone tag I know she likes to play, I spoke with Paula yesterday. She was on her cell phone driving back from Boston in the car she was not supposed to be driving. She’s on probation till August as it is. Her latest Puerto Rican of choice lives near Boston. Supposedly she’s known him a while and he’s going to be moving closer to her. She also hopes to marry the guy even though he’s 50. I guess he’s ok in bed, too. Well, of course. Only I can have bad sex or no sex.

She’s also having more and more trouble with Justin just as I predicted. Tom says he sounds like your typical teenager, but I’m sure he’ll go much further and even end up doing time eventually, thanks to his mother who hasn’t always set a good example.

Without a big win of any kind, I’m starting to think that if I can ever manage to fight fate and get the right to see a dream of mine come true for once, then our only way to California might be to buy a trailer here. We’d only need a couple of grand to get into one provided there are no 2 or 4-legged animals allowed. But if we’re going to get something like, “Well, we let dogs and kids in, but we try to encourage people to keep them quiet,” we may as well stay here.

I still say we were meant to be in the city and so in the city, we’ll stay. That is, in the mainstream of it. We wouldn’t have been here so long if we weren’t meant to be. It seems the more we try to fight fate, the more set back we get. We tried to escape the chaos by running to Maricopa, and now we’ve got more noise to deal with overall than ever before. The only difference is that most of it was just a few feet from us in the past. Now it’s here, there and everywhere in general.

We biked up to Fred’s at 8:30. Even that early tons of folks were out and about. Can’t say I blame them since it’s so rarely nice here. It’s back to being gorgeous again, though come early morning it’s pretty damn chilly.

Being the small town that this is, we saw our regular mailman along the way.

Speaking of mail, I forgot to add that while everybody at the jail complains about mail taking so long to get to them, mine’s taking even longer, according to Mary. She says it’s only my letters, too. She received one dated 5/12 on 6/1. I don’t always get to mailing out my letters right away, but that’s a hell of a long time! They’re just fucking with mine because of all the bitching I’ve done about things that have been returned, and although it’s totally against the law unless there’s contraband involved, they’re supposed to give inmates their mail right away. But of course, they are the law, so they can make it or break it.

Kim may not clean her place or throw her trash out, but she cleans her car apparently. I saw her parked right by the dumpster with her trunk open thinking she had filled the area in back so much with bags that she could no longer get to her door, but I don’t think she threw any bags in it. She hasn’t been as bad lately with the late-night comings and goings.

Tom has to get my computer a new heatsink (or should that be spelled sync?) since it’s been overheating a lot lately. There are always, always issues when I sweep.

I finally typed up the letter for the legislator, for whatever good it’ll do me, regarding the stereos. The more people that speak up, the better. It’s just that unfortunately, most people love noise. I’ll have Tom research the best place to send it via email, postal mail or both.

Today’s our 12th anniversary and while it may not count for much with us being just friends, I still couldn’t imagine life without Tom. So to feel this way after so many years tells me I didn’t make no mistake 12 years ago today. His personality is way worth any amount of fun, and mutual sex with a gorgeous woman, not that that was ever meant to be for me anyway.

Yesterday he got me a small barrel cactus. Hope it lives. The lavenders didn’t make it. At least I got the pretty lavender-colored pot out of it in which the cactus is now living.

The Stick Man at the Incense Rack was so thrilled over the email I sent them letting them know how much I enjoyed my win that they put it in their ‘save’ folder. They always strive to produce good products at fair prices, they said. Well, I didn’t tell them that while it’s nice that the incense is fresh, their prices are insane! All but their 25-cent ‘try me’ packs are ridiculous anyway, which consist of 3 sticks each. Incense should never be more than a dime a stick and a retail 100-pack should never be over $5.50 yet they want $8 for their 100-packs! Kepa, however, is going to charge just 50¢ for 10-packs, 75 for 25-packs, $1.75 for 50-packs which is the price of Bendejo’s retail 20-packs, and $4.25 for 100-packs. Tom doesn’t see how they can afford to have their prices so low. I’m glad they’ll be making all their scents available in stick form soon, too. It used to be that most scents were only available as oils.

Mary’s annoying me again. Not with the favors, but with the sensitivity and taking things too seriously. I set her straight in my reply to her, but next time I won’t even bother. I don’t need any shit from anyone. I said I’d like to kill the canal dog at times and that set her off because her aunt’s neighbors poisoned her dog that wouldn’t shut up when she was 5 years old. As I reminded her, people say all kinds of things as a way of venting. She said she’d never speak to me again if I killed it, yet she continues to associate with those who have abused her. Besides, if Tom and I ever did kill any current or future neighbor’s dogs we wouldn’t tell anyone about it. We’re not stupid. Nonetheless, she knows she’s welcome to step out of my life if she needs to, and I told her this. I said I don’t mean to sound cold and indifferent in telling you this, but I’m used to people coming and going in my life, so it wouldn’t faze me. I mean, that is life, isn’t it?

She asked how I’d like it if someone killed my rat. Of course I wouldn’t like it, but I also wouldn’t let the rat annoy people and put her at risk. The dog owners need to take some, if not most of the responsibility.

Oh, and she also took my view of Westerners personally when she’s a Westerner herself. I reminded her that I never said all Westerners were bad, just that there seemed to be more rude, selfish, and vindictive people in the West than the East.

I’m amazed at just how defensive of guys she is for someone who’s gone through so much shit on account of them, as most women do, by saying that while I say most men don’t want kids, they really do because they want to procreate, it’s a macho thing, etc., though she admits they’re not always supportive after the kid’s born. I told her that while I’m no guy expert, this isn’t what I’ve personally seen in life and that the only reason there are so damn many people on earth is that they either don’t think they’ll get the women pregnant as long as they don’t want to, or they figure they can just take off if they do. I’ve heard just the opposite on the macho thing – that men find the idea of kids too non-macho. Macho to them, as far as I’ve always heard and seen, are things like sex, sports, cars, beer, etc. I think a lot of them tell women they want kids because they figure it’s what they want to hear, but this is just my opinion based on what I’ve personally observed. If I got a buck for every story I’ve heard regarding guys either preventing a woman from conceiving or who has run from fatherhood, I’d be filthy rich. I guess different people have different experiences with certain people/places/things. Helen said most of her experiences with blacks had been good. Mine hasn’t.

Her latest goal is to be a counselor when she gets out of there. Well, I won’t tell her this, but she’ll never be one. I hate to say it but her record will forever stop her, although this doesn’t mean she can’t be an advocate for others who have walked in her shoes. It’s unfortunate, but they want people who have always had sane, stable lives. I don’t understand why they should be the ones to counsel those with problems when they can’t relate to them, but that’s just how it is. I don’t think unstable people should be counselors, but doesn’t it make sense for those who’ve had problems in the past to be the ones helping those with problems in the present? Trust me, though, you’ll never meet a counselor who’s had abusive parents, been in funny farms, cut themselves, tried to commit suicide, or anything like that.

She also asked how I could believe such things as God punishing me for altering my teeth, ear or eyes, or that He’d protect my murderer if I were ever murdered, and I’m sorry, but that’s a stupid question. A totally stupid question. No one who’s ever wronged me, be it in a small way or a big one, has ever been made to pay for it. Never. So why in the world could I even think for a minute that anyone who killed me would be brought to any form of justice??? It’s kind of obvious that they wouldn’t, just as it is that He doesn’t like me altering the way I’m supposed to be in any dramatic way. I mean, how could I possibly write these things off as pure coincidence??? She really oughta stop and think before she asks such stupid questions. If by some freak chance any perp of mine did get jailed, it’d be for 5 minutes if even that, and it’d no doubt be someone who didn’t mind and who even liked being in jail. A lot of people do get a kick out of being jailed. I’ve seen it myself.

I got the two Tonner dolls and two outfits I ordered last week and they are gorgeous! I love them.

After what was an amazingly quiet day, it’s getting noisy with the fucking stereos. Late afternoons/early evenings are the worst.

The good news is that more and more places are complaining about noise, particularly stereos which are the number one reason for people relocating, and starting to set up things like loud stereo hotlines, but the bad is that we’re probably still years away from anything major being done about it. There’s a town in Michigan that has both stereo and barking hotlines. It doesn’t surprise me that the East is trying to clamp down on the noise problem more so than the West since the West is so intolerant to complaining. For now, the laws are still just as twisted as the Catholics who preach against single motherhood while trying their damnedest to deny a broke 15-year-old rape victim the abortion she needs.

I had commented to Tom when we were discussing the stereos that they gotta stop selling the damn things. If they stop selling them in the first place, then people can’t abuse what they can’t get a hold of. They’ll think of something else to do, but until then, at least they wouldn’t have the damn things to force us to listen to just because they feel such a need for attention. Tom says he thinks they’ll either start with progressive punishments or limit the volumes upon manufacturing them like they have with iPods in France. To me, that’s wrong to limit the iPods. If an individual wants to blast their own eardrums, they should be allowed to do so. It’s when it affects others that they’re crossing the line. I think they should limit the volume dramatically rather than impose penalties or make it a law that the volume can’t exceed 25’ from the vehicles because one has to consider the types of people that blast these things. They’re the most defiant types, so if they can break a law in the first place, they will. If they limit the volume, they’ll think of other things as I said, but there’d be no getting around this one. Either way, I hope they get hotlines in cities everywhere as long as we gotta be stuck in them. I’d prefer not to have to use it by moving to where they’re less likely to be, but I wouldn’t let the risk of retaliation stop me. If life is supposed to be about taking chances anyway, then I say we should stand up for what we believe in and not let others scare us. I know every situation and individual is different, though. I guess you gotta judge each one as it comes.

I got to be involved in making a very important business decision as far as SOS’s new Silk Splash store goes. I set the price points for them! I registered at their site and received a $10 voucher that new members get. I then emailed Kepa to ask when the incense will be added and what prices the units will be set at. He replied saying that they weren’t sure what to set the increments or price points at and asked if I thought they should do 10, 20, 30, 50, 100, or just 20, 50, 100. I replied saying I thought they should do 10, 20, 30, 50, and 100 at 5¢ a stick. He replied by saying that’s what it’ll be then, and that they were hoping for a spring launch, but the labeling system ended up being a bigger production than they thought. I still don’t know when the incense will be available, but I’ll sure have fun diving in once it is!

Last Saturday we got me a wider bike seat from Fred’s which is more comfortable. Sunday we walked up to do the laundry while we bombed.

Tomorrow I’ll be getting my dolls and the incense I won from the Incense Rack. I like how they have live help on their site.

I’d like to try to be a little creative and do some sewing at the kitchen table, but not wanting to hear the dog’s pathetic pleas for attention, I think I’ll wait and do it at night. Late at night.

I got a letter in Spanish from Children’s International wanting my help. I always thought it’d be fun to sponsor a child, but I won’t because I still think it’s wrong for people to have kids they know they can’t afford. And being too poor to afford birth control is no excuse. Everyone with half a brain knows what time of the month a woman can’t conceive. And there’s no reason the younger guys who would have a harder time refraining from getting off altogether can’t at least pull the plug in time. I say if you have a kid, it should be your responsibility. Not those in other countries, the state’s, or friends and family. Not unless you’re laid up in the hospital with a broken neck anyway.

We checked some online craft stores and it looks like I could get thin sheets of clear plastic to make doll covers with at some point.

I just got a Brazilian Barbie in a purple carnival outfit. She’s from the Dolls of the World Series. I also got Beyonce, and they both look awesome! Way better in person than online. I added their pictures to my Webshots albums which my two “fans” oughta like. Yes, I have a couple of fans who have listed me and my albums as a favorite of theirs, but I can’t tell anything about them. I don’t know who they are or what it is they like best. Probably the dolls.

Tomorrow I’ll be ordering two Tonners and two more fashions. This will be the first time I’ve gotten two Tonners at once!

Spiders are still a problem here, so we’re going to bomb again this Sunday while we walk up to do the laundry. The day before we’re going to ride the bikes to Fred’s, Anyway, Tom says we bombed too soon, but I still say it’s mostly because this sagging shitbox is too open. I swear to God I will never live in anything over 30 years old again!

I’ve stopped writing Mary and Paula until I hear from them. When the unanswered letters start to add up, I start to feel like I’m talking to myself.

I heard firecrackers and looked out the side window at about 9:00. I could see into the lower back bedroom next door cuz the blinds were raised about a third of the way. I saw a couple that appeared to be fighting, but whether or not it was serious or just playing around, I couldn’t tell.

Tom and I agree that these headphones aggravate my ear. He gets pressure pains if he wears his own headphones for too long. I totally regret dumping my old ones. These don’t handle bass like the old ones. They vibrate on the real basey songs. With everything being so basey these days, they should know better than to make headphones that can’t handle it.

I decided I’d join him on the Slim Fast diet he plans on starting since while I can’t put ear or hunger spells on myself, I can at least do the dairy, and because it’s easier if whoever you live with is dieting at the same time. Then we can be miserable together and be each other’s sponsors! If the hunger strikes one of us really bad, the other can talk them out of breaking down and eating. It’s just way too hard to diet or quit smoking when you live with someone doing exactly what you’re trying to stop, so perhaps we should take it one day at a time until we just can’t take it anymore, rather than set time limits or weight goals that may add more pressure to it. I suppose some would say it was silly to lose weight that’ll just come right back, but oh well. It’ll be so much harder for me than for him cuz I gotta get down to 800 cals (I may as well starve, huh?). I’d still rather look as huge and terrible as I do while I was healthy than young, thin and gorgeous with a hellish life like I’ve had too much of the time.

There are 5 different companies running sweeps where you get 40 grand for 25 years. Oh, to win that!!! I’d kill for it! If I could only win one more sweep, that’d be it for sure. Yet the winners always end up being some already rich doctor or lawyer if not someone in their 80s. They should have age limits on these things. They really should. Paying an 80-year-old a huge sum of money like this is ridiculous! They should ban entries of those over 70.

Yesterday was fun. We rode the bikes to Fred Meyer and I never had to stop either way. The first time around was hot because it was warm and sunny. It had gotten cloudy, windy and cooler by the time we headed back, so that made it better. The ride back was more uphill, but as long as I remember to take it easy, I’ll be okay. If I start out too fast, then I get out of breath way too soon. The seat is still pretty uncomfortable despite the cushion on this big ass of mine, so we’re going to get a better one.

People were out and about everywhere, sucking up the wonderful weather and the chance to be noticed despite being in their own little world and oblivious to others at the same time. Adults blared music from their houses with no regard for their neighbors, and kids displayed absolutely no manners or respect for others, so it was a typical all-American day for the most part.

Aside from groceries, I got eyelashes for Denise so she can have bottom ones, too. They weren’t easy to apply, but I did it. She looks much better now, more natural.

I weighed myself on a few of their scales and it seems this scale is closer to 5 pounds too low rather than 10. They said I was 130. I’m not surprised. Any fool could look at me and see I can’t possibly be under 130.

I won two tubes of mascara, a T-shirt, and another piddly win that’s no piddly win to me because it’s 100 sticks of incense from the Incense Rack! I was quite thrilled to receive the win notice from them. This is a monthly I’ve been doing ever since I started sweeping. I had put win spells on this one the night before I got the notice big time, too. Tom said he’s not surprised and that he’s always encouraged me to think positively and try to put spells on various contests. We agree I shouldn’t spread myself too thin, so I’m starting with the smaller contests before I work my way up to bigger ones. With it being still close to the 1st and tomorrow being Monday, I hope to get notices or surprise wins. I had to pay $5 shipping on the incense, but it’s worth it. As messy as it is, I still think it’s the best way to make a house smell good. It’s also the best way to get a great variety of scents. You can’t go to the store yet and get chocolate air fresheners. I went and checked their site and found them to have most of the scents Incense Galore’s got. I worried at first that IG was their supplier, knowing that my patchouli may not be patchouli if that were the case, but it seems that they themselves distribute to various places, even though they’re strictly retail, so maybe they just use the same supplier as IG. They had only a few I didn’t recognize, and only a few of my old favorites were missing from their list. If the sticks I won are any good, I just may make an order soon.

What was neat about this win was that I was the grand prize winner, and Canada was allowed to enter as well. Grand prize gets 100 sticks, 2nd prize gets 75 sticks, and 3rd prize gets 50 sticks. They also said they’re going to enclose samples with my 100-pack. That oughta be fun!

Just when I thought the month would end without any more wins, I hit a Kodak collage instant win and I also won an autographed book. They’re piddly wins, but wins nonetheless.

With today being the 1st, there are over 200 new sweeps. Most are DVDs and other celebrity-related stuff. I am so, so sick of hearing about Jennifer Aniston, Brittney Spears and Angelina Jolie! They’re all you ever hear about these days. I’m not a fan of any of them, though I do agree that Angelina’s gorgeous. Naïve, but gorgeous. As soon as fatherhood gets to be too much for the slut she married and she starts getting a little too old, too fat, off he’ll run. He dumped his ex for wanting kids that he didn’t want, so why he got with a chick who had adopted two kids and then allowed her to conceive one of their own, is beyond me.

Last night got pretty scary. I was walking through the bedroom from the bathroom to the living room when I spotted a huge spider on my pillow where I had laid not even 5 minutes ago. So I ran and got the vacuum and as I bent down to adjust it, there was another one on my dresser! So I sucked up the one on my pillow first, then turned around to find the other one gone. Knowing I couldn’t go to sleep knowing that the damn thing was in there, I waited till it came into view again, but when I went to swat it, it dodged into the closet. So I sprayed the closet hoping that would chase it back out, and when it did, I made sure I didn’t miss the second time around!

It was cool and damp today, so it’s backed off the spiders again as well as our little attention-getters’ antics. Even the barking was lessened. If there are two things and two things only I like better about winter it’s that it keeps the bugs away and shuts people up. Well, nothing literally shuts people up, especially those who are the most desperate for acknowledgment, but it sure does help. What I don’t get, though, is why aren’t the bombs and traps keeping these fucking creepers away? Am I going to find 2 or 3 of them in here every day when it finally warms up and stays that way for more than 5 minutes? God, I hope not! That’s another question I can add to the why-are-we-so-destined-to-live-in-noisy-places question. Why am I so destined to be tormented by spiders?

I have felt better since I stopped trying to push myself to have just 800-1000 calories a day to lose weight I’d only put right back on. When I’m hungry, I eat. But only when I’m hungry and not otherwise.