Sure enough, Doc O feels I should be at 88 mcg. She said she can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do, but really believes it’s necessary since my thyroid only puts out 50% of what it needs to and that number will probably go down in time. 

I asked her what the odds were of me being flipped from hypo to hyper, and she said the chances were very low. I told her I was going on vacation and didn’t want that playing on my mind while I was gone. She asked me when we were leaving and I told her January or February was most likely, and she said I had plenty of time to know how my body was going to tolerate it. She also reminded me that I could have an anxiety attack for any unrelated reason at any time. I agree, and as I told her, I believe the anxiety started with the levothyroxine, but other things in conjunction with it fed off of one another and I had a bit of a domino effect going for a while. 

Her mood seemed a bit different this time. Like she didn’t really want to see me. Maybe I read her wrong and maybe she was just pressed for time or upset about something else, but it almost seemed like she wasn’t exactly glad to see me. She didn’t rush me, though. I doubt it’s got anything to do with me, and this is the way she probably is most of the time, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it had anything to do with my not being able to keep my appointment with the psychiatrist. Or maybe even my message to Doc C somehow got back to her and she finds it disturbing. Remember? People always seem to know my business as well as be connected to someone I’m no longer connected to. Like I said, I doubt it had anything to do with me personally. I was a bit surprised she didn’t comment on Tom not being present this time around. There were a few times she smiled and went off-topic, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she continues to do her job properly. 

When we were discussing anxiety and whether or not the medication was likely to cause it, she reminded me that a lot of things can get the heart pumping that has nothing to do with it. An example she used was how much she hates scary movies. 

“I love scary movies,” I told her. 

She said, “Okay, bad metaphor.” And then she said that she didn’t enjoy riding roller coasters or find watching videos of roller coasters entertaining. 

I told her spiders could get my heart going, and she knew how I felt, saying she’d recently found a black widow in her vegetable garden. I told her that it so happened that we were bombing the house at the moment. “For black widows?” she asked. 

“No,” I told her, “for any and all spiders.” 

Anyway, she doesn’t think I have anything to worry about and reminds me that going from 75 to 88 isn’t much. It’s like standing by the ocean and throwing in a salt tablet. Well, can you find your salt tablet? she asked. 

She also said she thinks I overthink things at times. I told her I think she’s right. :) 

Still, I am a bit nervous about it and I’m not going to start until the weekend when Tom will be here, even though it’s going to take time to be a problem if it’s going to be. 

She also said it makes no difference if you took two 75s one day and a 75 the rest of the week. It still equals 88 a day for a week, and no matter how you take it, it’s all the same. If I do run into any trouble, however, she said not to stop the medication. Just call her and get to the lab so they can see if there’s a connection to the levothyroxine or not. Past experience has taught me this is very important, too. I stopped the meds when I first ran into trouble and that caused me to test as hypo when I KNOW I was hyper. It just would’ve been nice if the bitch I last saw had warned me that could happen. 

I mentioned the strange throat pain I’ve had a few times and she wasn’t sure what to make of it, but suggested allergies could’ve had something to do with it. Unless it becomes a regular thing, I’m not going to worry about it. 

Out of curiosity, I asked her if the dose increase would affect my weight and told her that while I haven’t dieted recently, my weight still won’t respond to diet and exercise. She said it might help a little, but probably not much. I figured as much, but at least I don’t have to worry about gaining. Good enough for me for now, though she did say my weight was down from the last time. I was like, really? I thought it was the same. But it was down 2 pounds.