I expressed my frustration to my docs over the referral issues. They were very apologetic and referred me to another doctor in Lutz and said he had an appointment available as early as Thursday morning. So in a couple of hours, I’ll call the office and no doubt get the usual run around. That is assuming I can get a hold of anyone in the first place.

I’m totally exhausted today. Getting a little lightheaded now, too. Yesterday, I had great energy and was very productive. But I didn’t sleep long enough last time around. I don’t know why this happens so often but it does.

I finished a painting yesterday on the small canvas. I think it’s a 5x7 canvas. It came out well but I don’t see myself ever getting that good. The painting was based on a YouTube tutorial vid of flowers against a blue sky.

We’ve got some more canvases and an easel coming for bigger ones. I also ordered some chalk and tiny buckets for water to hang on the hook in the center of the easel. The little buckets are colorful, and the easel is kind of colorful too as each of the poles is a different color.

The chalk is good for outlining things you want to paint. I didn’t know you could use chalk on painted canvas. I’m following a woman named Michelle who has a painting channel and is very talented. She shows you how to do a painting called Spotlight Ballerina and I wanted to try that next but realized I should gain some more experience before I jump into that one. She uses a primed and stretched 20x16 canvas. I think I should start smaller, though. So we ordered a pack of flat canvases in a variety of sizes. I think I’ll look for tutorials depicting scenes I’d like to paint based on the size of the canvases and slowly work myself up bigger and bigger.

Tom grabbed a new pack of shirts. They’re just cheap T-shirts for hanging around. His last set was all bright blue. This one has dark colors of navy, charcoal and red.

I could kick myself for using cheap dye because my hair is fried and thinner. Once again, I am going to try to convince myself not to dye it for a while and will probably cut it soon enough to get the damaged hair gone. When I do go back to dyeing it, I’m definitely going to use the more expensive stuff that’s not so harsh on my hair.

Poor Tom stabbed himself in the hand with a fork yesterday when he was poking holes in his potato. His skin is so thin that he bleeds easily. I’m glad I was there to help him get a band-aid on. Especially with his essential tremor. He learned that if he ever has problems eating, they have weighted silverware. The thing is, if he holds his hands out with nothing in them, they shake. But if he weighs them down with something, they don’t. His left side is worse than his right.

We were going to go out to the store this morning, but I’m way too tired. Since Wal-Mart loves to discontinue things, we go to the dollar store for low-sodium Vienna sausages until they stop selling them there as well.

The honker’s visitors left a few days ago. I’m surprised he hasn’t ridden the motorcycle since then. The lady in front of us down the street rides hers but not every day. She’s not a threat to my sleep anyway. Just annoying when she revs it.

Tom did see a guy head down the street on a loud one a couple of days ago. I think I know who he’s talking about too. I don’t know that this person lives here, though. I still play the sound machine louder when I’m sleeping during the daytime, just to be safe. I hate having to do that but it’s looking more and more that despite my vibes, we’re not moving.

He said the horses did terribly yesterday. I still say he’s dreaming and that downloading the spring data (he wants all seasons) isn’t going to help or change anything, and our best bet is to just get on with things like completely soundproofing the bedroom, redoing the floors and adding additional counter and cabinet space in the kitchen. Can’t enlarge the living room, but we can make other improvements.

Do I like the fact that I’m going to spend the rest of my life in a house that isn’t as big as I’d like and in a flight path? No, I don’t. But life isn’t usually what we plan or want it to be and things could definitely be a lot worse. I would certainly rather spend the rest of my life here than in our old house, Jesse’s trailer, or the dump we rented in Oregon with just one bathroom. It’s not always easy, but sometimes we just have to accept things, just like I’ve had to accept that I’m very likely going to suffer from anxiety on and off for the rest of my life and I’m never going to lose weight either for a few reasons.

I miss using my vibration platform. So when my energy levels will let me, I’m going to get back into that. I like the way it makes me feel and the way it tightens and pulls my core in so my clothes fit better.

I wonder if anyone’s ever going to follow me on Tumblr that isn’t a porn bot.