I had a great time at my parent’s place for the Yom Kippur holiday dinner. We had Chinese food. Everybody’s favorite. I spent a lot of time with Lisa cuz she has a bad knee and can’t walk well. Tammy broke her arm by her elbow and has a cast on.

It really looks like my parents and sister are more on my side about my singing than they ever were before. And I also feel much closer to the family and have more faith in them. I think now they really can see how far I’ve come and understand my dreams and goals and are more supportive of me and my talents and abilities.

When I look back on the past it’s only to be thankful that I didn’t succeed in the foolish attempts I made to take my life. If I had died I’d never be alive to have become independent or as smart as I have or to get the voice I’ve got. Dad had a little talk with Tammy tonight and told her that I do have a voice and that whatever happens will happen and not to say what she’s said about my shrink being full of shit about not needing drugs. Believe me, I know when someone’s full of shit and when they aren’t.

I was upset and started to cry a bit as I said goodbye tonight, as tomorrow Mom and Dad are leaving for Florida. I’ll miss them but I’m happy they’re happy and doing the things they want to do. I guess they deserve it at their age.

Dad and I also talked about a relationship and children in the future. Right now it seems impossible, but of course, anything’s possible. It just seems so far away. I told him I wanted a child to take care of instead of everyone taking care of me. Also to teach my skills to and to hand down whatever I may have whenever I die.

But it really does look like my family’s on my side and isn’t labeling me “mental” anymore.

I just can’t help being so excited. I want to hurry up and move. Get on with my singing career. Do as much as I can. I want what’s considered a hectic schedule.

I really have been feeling 100% better lately both mentally and physically. I really must admit that this summer wasn’t nearly as bad as the last. My appetite’s come back, my sleeping habits are normal now. My attitude’s much more positive. Things are really starting to roll. Good things. I only hope I don’t get fat this winter but I have my water pills which help tremendously. I have gained two pounds, though.

I haven’t seen Nervous for nearly two weeks and I never felt better. What the hell did I ever need such a jerk like him around for? He was one problem after another and he was a very sick man. No doubt he’s probably getting his thrills spying. Let him. What other source of entertainment does the poor loser have?

Later...

Although I’m sleepy I just don’t feel like sleeping. I just want to stay up and write but first I think I’ll go into the kitchen where it’s easier.

I almost stepped on Sasha who is sleeping at the foot of the bed underneath the bedspread of the floor.

Ma said if I move by January 1st, she’ll fly me to Florida in December. Hopefully, I move by November or definitely before my b-day. One thing’s for sure and that is I’m really gonna miss Andy.

I’m just thinking about the nervous bastard and how lonely he’ll be. Just like he no doubt is now. I sure as hell don’t miss him, but maybe right before I move I’ll get in touch with him just to bug him. I do miss making him nervous. But overall he can go fuck himself.