Tomorrow morning I’m going to do laundry at Nervous’s rooming house. I told him to go get his breakfast while I’m doing it so he doesn’t bug me. He said ok.

Andy’s sister Marla flew in tonight from California with her 4-month-old son, so Andy was psyched.

I wonder when the hell I’ll ever move. Yes, I’ll miss people here in Springfield, but I really do want to hurry up and move so I can be near my sister and nieces. I sure hope I’m able to get a lucky break in music somehow, someway, with or without Tammy’s help.

I’ve got to get a much more positive attitude. I can’t give up my singing even if Tammy continues to think I’m hopeless or if I have a few failures. Being too negative so much is going to get me nowhere. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It’s time to be a doer, not a dreamer. It’s soon or never. I won’t settle for anything else. I love to sing and now have a voice I never thought I’d ever have.

I also really want to improve my piano, guitar and Spanish by studying more and practicing my ass off. No more being so lazy.

Nervous said he’s looking for a portable organ like Andy’s which I love to death, but it may be just too expensive and I surely don’t want to see him get evicted again. I’m dying for one, though.

I was supposed to call yesterday for an appointment today to have gotten my hair evened out but now I’ll have to wait till Tuesday. They’re closed Sundays and Mondays.

Monday night is when Ma calls. Also Monday I’ll have to call La Baron. They sent me a bill for $1,068 and I’m not paying a dime. They never should’ve let me into school without approving my application for financial aid first. I’ll also call the people I filled out the application with. They’re also responsible. She was supposed to have contacted me and it looks like I may have to take them to court and hopefully sue them for the $561 that I paid to get into Mansfield for my manicuring course. They should definitely pay me.

Also Nervous is taking me to New Britain, CT to a service for gay women to meet other gay women. I just hope his car doesn’t break down in the middle of the highway or I’ll die.

Later...

I am still wide awake. I just did some reading and before that, I played my keyboard and guitar.

I ordered Gloria’s two Spanish albums Rio and Otro Vez.

Today, if I don’t sleep all day, I’m gonna do laundry, but if I do I can always do it later on tonight.

I called Fran’s old foster father and left a message for him to call me. I haven’t seen him in ages. Why is it that he only comes to visit once in a lifetime? Last time was when he bought the TV from me.

Rather than go to Johnson’s maybe I should go to McRory’s in the Eastfield Mall across from my mom’s store. It’s bigger, better and much cheaper and they have everything. I’m almost positive I’d find some really nice things there for the kids and some nice things for everyone else.

Sometimes I wonder if I should call about getting my vaginismus cured cuz it would make me happy and maybe it’s just a waste of time being gay, even if it’s not a choice.