Boy, is having a roommate ever going to take some getting used to! 2 or 3 years ago I’d jump at the chance to have a good, decent, honest roommate such as Andy. And you know how compatible and how much alike we are. Lately, though, I’ve been wanting to spend more and more time alone. The desire for company and for going out places is vanishing like running water down a drain. The desire to have a lover and a baby is also being flushed down the toilet. At first, I was beginning to think something was wrong with me but I now think it’s just a case of my not wanting any bullshit.

As far as a lover’s concerned, like with Brenda for example, I know I’m a decent person, I don’t hate myself, but at the same time, I feel I’m not good enough for her. I don’t want to be with someone and have to be constantly asking myself, did I do or say something wrong? Also, I don’t want to have to worry about her or anyone else not understanding me. I know and understand myself and that’s enough. What others don’t know or understand won’t hurt them. All I want is casual sex here and there. Of course, that’ll be once a lifetime cuz I’m so picky and don’t go to bars and cuz there are so few feminine ones. I have my fantasies, though, which are the most fulfilling.

Later...

I fell asleep near 6:00 this morning only to wake up at 10:00, so I do need to try to sleep more.

Also, I’m psyched for New Year’s Eve tonight as I realize I’ve got 3 more years till fame and fortune and you know I’m right with my premonitions and predictions. Speaking of those, I’ve been having more and more. Bizarre ones too that kind of freaked me out a bit. One night Brenda and I were lying in bed when I just came out and said, “Someone lost money.” She said yes, a guy in CVS. I said it was a $20 bill and she said yes it was and a lady picked it up for him.

Another thing was, a few days before December I predicted we’d have a major snowstorm on December 28th. I was right.