Dear Marty,

I am so so sorry for falsely accusing you of that message. I received a call today, from someone whose name I won’t mention that apologized for accusing me of calling them. They now know who was harassing them. We ended up having a decent conversation and as I listened to this person, I could tell it wasn’t you, but it sure does sound almost exactly like you! I informed this person that I’ve got too much of a record to keep doing stuff like that, am too busy, and have respect for my husband, as well as myself. Well, once again, I am so very sorry! Take care.

Jodi Lin

That which I just wrote, was my postcard to Marty, which I forgot to write in.

I’m pissed off cuz Tom said he’d have the printer working right again, after installing some new shit, but it doesn’t. Now I have to wait till morning, but I’ll live. I have a letter to Kim ready to print out and this draft will be part of Bob’s letter.

Got several things to update on. First of all, Tom got acoustic stuff for the living room and music room windows. It’s resting in the windows now, but there’s no frame yet and it’s not sealed up yet. Right now, we’re testing how well it works. So far, so good, but I don’t know if that’s cuz things have been quiet or cuz they really do work well. I didn’t get up till 4 PM today, so I think I was asleep when the dick wad next door left and returned from work (we think he’s a car dealer). Time will tell, though, how well they work, but I like its other functions. It’s dark and peaceful for listening to music in the daytime and I don’t have to deal with next door’s fucking security light blaring on constantly at night. It’ll also cut down our cooling/heating bills and retain cool air and the heat better.

If a problem with next door still persists or if they get worse and to the point where they’re intolerable, Tom will go over there and talk to them. Whether or not that will do any good, who knows?

At first I thought of telling them I’d babysit at least part-time for free if they’d cut the music or do something for them, but then Tom pointed out that I’m making a reasonable request and you don’t reward people for doing what’s right in the first place.

True. What the fuck do I owe them anyway? I don’t owe them shit and like I said before, I was here first. Anyway, I do intend for the problem to be over as of yesterday. I still don’t know if it’ll be over due to the sound blocks, Tom talking to them, me kicking the shit out them or what, but it’s over, cuz I’m setting the rules here and one of them is that their music is gonna be for their ears only whether they like it or not. What I say about that is how it’s gonna be.

Enough about these freeloaders and on to other stuff.

Andy and I talked earlier and he won’t be leaving till the 8th at 10 PM, cuz Marla sent the tickets out late.

He was telling me that Marla’s still pissed off at Charlotte and my mother for what happened with her mother, but mostly at Charlotte. Someone suggested to Charlotte that she go and try to resume her friendship with Judy. Judy overheard that from someone, then Charlotte overheard that Judy said she probably would resume the friendship if Charlotte apologizes to her for the shit that went down 20 years ago. Charlotte then said that she had nothing to apologize for and that’s what gets Marla. Andy tried to tell Marla to forget the past and let it go and not wish Charlotte to drop dead as she has been. 

Andy’s got a point about letting the past rest, but at the same time, I know how hard that can be at times. In the case of Marty, is where I can relate to that. I tried to tell myself, “Forget about it. You know what you did wrong in the past and what he did wrong in the past. You know he couldn’t beat you now, let alone scare you, so drop it.” But that’s obviously been hard to do, otherwise I wouldn’t have sent the letter and the card just so I could let him know I could take him in a fight nowadays. Between Bonnie and Barbara from Woodside Terrace and Norwich, they were the final straw to making me how I am now. I refuse to take shit from anyone.

Years ago, if I had heard Joely next door say something threatening about me from our yards, for example, I’d have kept my mouth shut and if I saw her I’d act like I knew nothing about it. Not now, though. Uh-uh. I’d now say, “I heard that! Why don’t you meet at my front door and we’ll discuss it face to face!” And if she didn’t come to my door, I’d probably go to hers. No one’s gonna threaten, push, or slap me ever again and get away with it. I refuse to stand there like a scared wimp and take it. I shall stand my ground, no matter how much tougher the other person is. 

That drunk, Hank, from Oswego Street was also lucky I wasn’t like I am today, although we did end up friendly. I know that they say that fighting one who fights you is lowering yourself to their level, but I see it as defending yourself and keeping them off your case. If I didn’t turn around and say, "Hey, wait a minute Bonnie. I ain’t running from you," she’d have kept picking at me for sure.

No, I do not like violence, but I promise to take care of anyone else who fucks with me, my husband or our stuff within normal reason. I’m gonna show them that surprises do come in small packages, even though it’s been a long time since there’s been a need to, and even though I hope I’ll never have to.

Andy was telling me how he’s been discussing with his family how he and his family have come to realize I’m not what all those rumors said I was. I told Andy that was nice of him, but not to worry. People are gonna believe what they want and they can do that if they wish to. Also, I really have too much of a label on me that can’t wash off of everyone. Besides, it doesn’t matter. The labels put on me by my mother can no longer harm me in any way. There’s nothing Judy or Aunt Ruth could do to me if they still thought I was crazy except to ignore me.

Andy and those he’s told are appalled that my mother could spread bad or personal stuff around about me and not let me talk about what interests me. Yes, I know it’s wrong, but I’m used to it and that’s how she’s always gonna be. My mother’s attitude may have changed a little about me since I came here, but she’s still mostly the same old Dureen. Tammy’s like that, too.