I’m washing the shower curtain right now, and soon I’ll try to scrub our filthy, impossible-to-clean tub.

Later…

I’m on the phone gabbing with Andy now. He’s going through his usual few subjects - Stevie Nicks, work, and going back east to be with David.

He said he’s sure he’s leaving on April 30th.

Sure. Right.

I’m typing as I’m half-listening to his non-stop garble. But he’s my pal and I love him.

He started off by saying, “I didn’t get fired, but I got complaints two days in a row.” I asked for what, figuring he’d say it was for flirting, but instead, he was rude. So, he’s gonna be taking a break from waiting tables, which has really been stressing him out lately, and which he just isn’t into anymore, he’ll be hostessing. Seating the people, instead of serving the people. They’re only gonna pay him $7 an hour, though.

He said that the reason he’s going back on April 30th is so he can hitch a ride with Joyce and Bill. That’s his aunt and uncle and they go to Vegas every year. At least he won’t have to worry about springing the cash to get back.

Later…

After just over an hour, Andy finally let me go. He could’ve easily kept going till he had to go to work at 5:30, though. We talked about the usual - Stevie, Quinn, Dave, Michelle, and work.

He still wonders about what was really going through Quinn’s mind up till he died. He did tell me that some girl was rubbing his face in the fact that his brother molested him, trying to get him to deal with it and that that seemed to cause his mind to snap to the point that the police were called. During the cop’s visit to his apartment, they noticed all his drug paraphernalia, so they returned two hours later with a warrant. It looks like he was gonna be facing some jail time.

He also told me that when he and his sister were going through his things, they found a scrapbook full of all kinds of stickers. Mostly colorful ones that children would have. That was when the sister told Andy that that was part of the pervert brother’s way of rewarding Quinn. Whenever the brother would want a sex favor, he’d give Quinn stickers for it.

He says Michelle’s wasting her time. She met some gay girl online that she’s gonna meet. Well, if this girl shows up (it might not even be a girl) she says she’ll be happy enough to settle for friendship if the girl doesn’t turn her on. That’s what she says, but it’s not that easy, as Andy pointed out. She’s gonna be too pissed if she isn’t attracted to her. You get all psyched up to meet someone, then find them to be ugly, or at least not attractive, and you’re too let down and pissed to want to be all buddy-buddy with them. See, Michelle’s only 24, so she’s now learning the things I learned at her age. She’ll learn, though, and get used to reality at some point. At least I hope she does since she can’t change it.

Later…

Tom went to work an hour ago, but he’ll be back at 9:30. (I hope) It’s just that end-of-the-month bullshit he has to deal with. I say I hope he’ll be in then because rather than eating my second TV dinner, he’ll be bringing in my weekend treat of a small order of fries and a cappuccino shake. The shake may play on my tummy a bit, as is dairy’s favorite thing to do with me, but it’ll be worth it. I just hope he doesn’t get held up at work till 11:30. That happens to him sometimes, so, if he’s not here by 10:30, I’ll just go ahead and eat a TV dinner.

The Lopezs sure did get themselves a hell of a spotlight in their backyard. I was in the back room when I saw light reflecting on the house across the alley and went out to check it out. This light is really damn bright. Brighter than the freeloader’s security light. I think this one’s motion-censored, too.

I wonder if Tom’s back muscle strain will enable us to go back to screwing around till the next thing comes up to bump us out of our plans/schedule. Still haven’t been as horny as I used to be, still don’t want a kid, thank God.

Tom isn’t the only injured party here, believe it or not. I have mild pulled muscles in the backs of my thighs, and major pulled ones in the area in front of the armpits. The muscles that go down into the tits. It wouldn’t prevent me from screwing, though.

Still walking every day, although I do take 1-2 days off a week. Still about 113-115 pounds from what I can guess and the mineral pill’s still curbing 80% of the problem I was having with constant, intense hunger.

It’s Friday night, so the stereos are out. Someone’s been banging by for 3 evenings in a row at around 6:30, but when I run to look, I never see a car. I don’t think it’s Caddy Kid, because I’d see him. Also, Caddy Kid would bang by either three times a day or no times a day. This one’s doing it just once. The music doesn’t last for long and it’s not as loud either, so maybe it’s a block away. Or not driving past both the side and front of the house, since we’re on the corner. Maybe he comes up the side, but then turns the other way and doesn’t go by the front.

Measles really knows she’s my favorite bird. I put some seed on the block wall and she dove right into it. Whenever some of the others tried to sneak a bite at the sides of her, I shooed them away with a wave of my arm. Meanwhile, she didn’t even flinch. It’s like she knew I was guarding her.

Later…

Tom got in early and we just ate our weekend treat.

I cannot believe that I’m just about a week away from my first anniversary of quitting smoking. It’s unbelievable. I never thought I’d see this day. Tom did, though. He said he knew it was inevitable. He also says it’s inevitable that we’ll have a kid. I don’t want one, though, although that’d make me more eligible in God’s eyes. If Tom were right, but I know he’s not, then that’d mean I’d have to get fixed because of health problems. The only way I’d let them fix me is if it were necessary due to health problems/risks, but I don’t see how the hell there can be a connection. I’ve never heard of sterility causing health problems.

Andy said that for the longest time, he’d ask himself what his purpose in life was. Then, he realized that there were two purposes - to show Quinn that a man can love another man, and to lead me out here and to Tom and all that. Well, it sure is true that if it weren’t for him I’d never be out here. God would either have to find some other way to get me out here and to Tom or send Tom back east to me there.

I know Andy won’t move back east, but a bigger part of me wishes he would. He wouldn’t call me as much, although he’s improved with that. But talking once a month would be better for me than once a week. Hell, I could go months, but still, talking once a month would make our talks more special.

He’d also have my letters to look forward to, and I’d look forward to sending them.

Lastly, I’d get to laugh at him in the winter, which he gave me permission to do.

Except for Lisa, he left things behind. There are his parents, his brothers, nieces, nephews, the beach, other people he knows, bars he knows, etc. Although, if he and David hit it off, I doubt they’d go to bars. David lives in a house that he shares with two other guys. These two other guys are a couple, I believe, and they own the house. Or one of them does. As Andy told David (this is totally understandable) he doesn’t really feel comfortable about moving in with people he doesn’t know, so he and David are gonna look for a place of their own when Andy gets there. He says David’s gonna support him till he gets a job.

I hope I’m wrong on two things. I hope he really does go back. And I hope he and David have a great relationship. It’s sad, though, to see Andy have to give up this beautiful weather and his home here, to have the slightest shot at love. A person should be able to find love anywhere, but then again, I sure as hell didn’t find anyone like Tom back there and I don’t think there’s such a thing as a Tom S anywhere else. Not just back there.