Woke up at 115 pounds today. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.

Yesterday, Tom and I ended up going to a video store where we got the new movie Titanic, plus 3 movies I picked out, and two he picked out. I liked all but one of the movies I picked out, but the Titanic - wow! It will make you cry for sure. It’s so sad and so scary. It really makes you hate God, too, for allowing such tragedy. The most terrifying part was when a part of the big ship turned straight upright. Some people held onto railings and stuff like that, but some fell downward and, on their way down, they’d hit things and bounce off of things. It totally brought me back to my jump, because I went down like that. I fell for a while, then flipped off an awning, then continued falling. It was also really creepy how one of the rowboats some of the people got into after the ship sunk, went gliding through tons of dead bodies just floating about.

At the video store, there was this really hot girl. Totally my type. Tall, thin, dark, etc. She had a plain face overall, but her black eyes and black hair were gorgeous. Her hair was a couple of inches from the crack of her ass. Even though she was casually dressed in a black, sleeveless shirt and jeans, and even though her body wasn’t femininely curvy, she looked great. Her boyish shape sort of reminded me of Brenda, but this one wasn’t bone thin.

We also went to that used bookstore. He got a magazine, and due to my building credit, I got 13 books for $12.50.

Later…

As figured, I haven’t shit today. My body’s just doing what it has to do to keep from falling under 115 pounds, I guess, since my body’s not comfortable at a lower weight these days. Not as a middle-aged non-smoker, it isn’t.

I knew this would happen. I just knew it would. One of my vibrators is started to crap out on me. I totally depend on these things. They don’t have screwy schedules, they don’t get irritation, they don’t get tired, sick, sore, or hurt. They’re all I can depend on sexually, and to tell you the truth - they’re better than the real thing. The real thing has too many problems and just doesn’t usually hit your most sensitive spots just right. With the vibrators, though, you’re in control. You hit it just right and just where you want it. It has no fears, no desire to tease or play games. It does what you want. Anyway, Tom said it was just a faulty contact, but that he can fix it if it acts up. I can use it as long as I hold it a certain way. This is the one I keep in the bedroom. I have the other one in the bathroom.

If there’s ever a time when Tom may play games (not let himself inside me) it’ll be tomorrow. That’s the closest I’ll be to mid-cycle on one of our scheduled sex days (he never wants me on the days we haven’t agreed to get together). Maybe he will let himself in there, maybe he won’t, but he sure as hell won’t cum. But that’s good, though, what with the way he’s so easy. Also, I’d bet my life on the fact that he too, prefers to take care of himself. I’m not the greatest in bed, I admit, and when he’s doing himself, he doesn’t have to risk the 5% chance of making a kid, since he’s only 95% sure I’m sterile.

I appreciate his being easy, and his keeping the sheets nice and dry, but I don’t like the lying. Again, I deliberately asked, how he knew the sex would someday be normal. Where he should’ve said, “It’s not because you rarely get off, and I practically never get off,” he said, “I can do anything if you give me enough time.”

Oh. It’s nice to know he needed “time” to be able to get off by his own wife in the first place. Nonetheless, he said what I suspected he’d say and flunked my little test.

Later…

It’s a quarter after 6:00 and at 6:00 I noticed the cock’s car out on the street in front of the bitch’s. It’s still there now, too, and it appears that he’s bringing the bitch home in the afternoons. If that’s the case, then that proves Tom’s theory right. He did move out because of us. Not because they’re fighting. But why are they being so cool about it? Are they biding their time, or what? In fact, I thought it was her come to talk to me about it at 6:00 when the doorbell rang (that’s how I first discovered it was parked on the street). I looked out the window and saw what I thought was the bitch next door. Dying of curiosity as to why this bitch would have the nerve to come to my door, I opened up. It was a Spanish girl, though, of about 13 years old (the bitch is so skinny and barely taller than me, that she looks like a kid when you can’t see her clearly) selling junk food.

Anyway, I know it’s still just a matter of months before that cock comes back, but guess what? As soon as it comes back - it’s outa here.

I’m a pound heavier today than yesterday. Yesterday I shit and was 116 pounds at the end of my day. Today I didn’t shit and am now 117 pounds. I also only had about 800 calories today and walked 20 minutes. I’ll definitely stay right where I am if I keep on shitting only every other day, that’s for sure, but at least I’m not gaining.

Later…

The freeloader has quietly left. Didn’t even hear a car door.