Now I’m not sure what the hell’s going on in back. Yesterday and the day before I saw a stout, balding man, probably white, though I couldn’t tell for sure, unloading moving boxes. Yet there are always 3-5 vehicles there, most of them being workers. Are they always going to be working on that house? Or is one of the workers themselves moving in?

What’s the point in exercising and watching what I eat just to get stuck for two days and end up right back where I started because of it? Huh? What’s the point? I swear, if it wasn’t for Teddy Bear I wouldn’t be putting myself through this shit cuz I just don’t care anymore. I’m fat and that’s that. I wouldn’t allow myself to gain weight, but I wouldn’t be hopelessly trying to lose it, either. I haven’t been under 120 pounds in months. Obviously, I’m never going to be. Teddy Bear will just have to accept me as I am, fat face and all. Droopy neck and jowls included. I know she would, it’s just that I’d be coming off as quite a liar after saying I was going to lose weight. Hey, I tried, though. I really tried. However, it just can’t be done and I’m through kidding myself and driving myself crazy over the subject. I’m staying between 120-125 and that’s final. It is weird, though, how a person can exercise like I do, watch what they eat, get more fit and firm, yet keep the same weight/measurements. It just goes to prove that exercising doesn’t make a person lose weight or get smaller. I know that the only way I could make good on my word would be to stop eating or come pretty close to it, but I just can’t live like that, and sorry, not even my Teddy Bear’s worth putting myself out like that. I’ll stick to 1400-1600 calories a day, plus one day a week to have around 2000.

Hopefully, my mentioning Tom’s switching to nights to Scot will spark a little consideration in him and he won’t bug us too often, but we’ll see. He doesn’t strike me as the considerate type. I’m just really shocked that he came twice in January. Maybe that’s why he did. Maybe he figured it’d surprise me after he’d been coming less and less.

He is one stupid dude, though. The last time he was here, he commented on how the back door’s way off, and I was like, you mean you’re just now noticing that? Kind of rude, if you ask me, to go to someone’s home uninvited just to pick on it. Whatever happened to the old cliché about not saying anything at all if you don’t have anything nice to say?